Friday, July 3, 2015

Frat Boy: Consequences of Long Showers

More stories from fraternity life.  Here's the into.  

Larry took the long showers.

I mean really long. He would be in the shower stall for literally 45 minutes sometimes longer. This didn’t really bother any of us because he usually took these extended showers in the early afternoons while the rest of us took morning or evening showers. However Ric took notice of this, and he couldn’t leave well enough alone.

The afternoon was a pretty chill time in the frat house. People would either be in class or doing homework.  And it always seemed that Ric was around during this time of day.

Now Ric was a great guy and unique in really cool ways. He was in a great shape, worked out a lot. Like me, he was also one of the only one of my frat brothers who was as into professional wrestling and comics books. He was loud, brash and put on this professional wrestling style cartoonish perona. At the same time he was very intelligent, sensitive and a good friend.

My room was right across from the bathrooms and my door was open, which was the custom for most of us when we were in our rooms. Ric came out of the bathroom and observed, “Larry has been in showering for a while hasn’t he?” I made some comment about how that wasn’t a big deal and that I had to finish the paper I was working on.

About 15 minutes later, Ric came down the hallway, peeked into the bathroom, and appeared in my doorway.

“Dude, he’s still in the shower, let’s mess with him.”

I replied, “Really, man, I got to finish this thing. Let’s hang later.”

 Ric apologized and went back to his room down the hallway.

Another 15 minutes passed, and Ric once again, walked down the hallway, peeked into the bathroom. Then he just stood silently in my door with a mischievous grin on this his face.

“Sigh, ok fine, Ric, let’s do this.”

We ran down to Ric’s room and grabbed his trashcan and emptied it out into the hallway trash. We went to the door of the bathroom and paused for a second. Ric pointed up, and I immediately knew what he was thinking. We ran up the stairs and filled up the trashcan with cold water in a shower stall on the third floor bathroom.

Together we carried the trash can full of cold water down the stairs. We slowly pushed the bathroom door open, trying not to let Larry hear us coming.  We struggled to carry the trash can through the sauna-like bathroom, while attempting to hold in our laughter.  We made out way shower stall next to Larry’s and Ric hurled the trashcan full of cold water over the partition.

Larry immediately screamed.  As we ran out of the bathroom, Ric grabbed Larry’s towel, and we both rushed into my room.  I closed the door, locked it and we immediately dropped to the floor sitting with our backs against the door with our hands over our mouths trying desperately not to laugh.

I could hear Larry swearing loudly, storming up and down the hallway, soaking wet and naked trying to figure out who had thrown the water on him.

“Who the &#!@ did this? I can’t believe you did this. You &#!@$ I RUINED my book!”

His book?!?

As soon as he said "book," Ric and I looked at each other knowing that we were about to loose it an that we would be dead if Larry heard us.  I quickly grabbed two pillows off my bed, and threw one to Ric.  Then buried our faced in them desperately trying not to laugh out loud.  I have never had to work harder to keep myself from laughing as I did, sitting with Ric and listening to Larry loose it over his ruined book.

Yes, Larry was annoyed at the cold water and that someone had taken away his towel but the thing he was most angry about was that we got his book wet that he was reading in the shower.  I've heard of people reading a book while taking a bath, but who reads a book in the shower?  If you bring a book into the shower, shouldn't you know that there is a risk of it getting wet?  And you live in a fraternity house.  While these kinds of pranks were not an every day occurrence, they weren't that uncommon.

I don’t think Larry ever figured out who dumped the water on him. Was this prank mean? Eh, kind of, but it’s harmless in the sense that in normal circumstances, it wouldn’t have caused any property damage, just a moment of discomfort. But leave it to Larry to make it something more, a case of bibliocide.

Sometime later, I overheard Larry talking when he was in the shower from my room.  It was kind of weird because I didn't hear any other voices.  A couple days later when washing my hands, I saw Larry walk out of his shower with his shower caddy in one hand and a wireless phone in the other.  At least we weren't responsible for ruining his phone.

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