Year 11 – Week 21: The Vaccine

I wasn't that emotional when I got the vaccine. After doing my arrival duty to get the vaccine, I had left school, and I knew that I had to hurry back to school to teach my morning classes.  However, I was very emotional when we got an email from the school nurse that vaccine appointments will be provided for employees at my school and to look for another email with details. When I got that email, I felt a huge feeling of relief and clarity. There was certainty in something that seemed and felt so amorphous for so long. 

Timelines around the access to the vaccine have varied greatly. With all that has happened around vaccine distribution and continues to happen, my expectations were low that I would get it before the spring. The lack of care, responsibility, and hard work from the previous administration is why we are in this mess. It will be revealed further in the coming weeks how much their incompetency has cost this country. While people are rightfully annoyed at vaccine distribution issues, people should focus their frustrations on trump as much, if not more, than state and local officials.  

The real emotions came rolling in after I signed up for an appointment to get the vaccine.  

I have been teaching in-person this entire school year, and while teaching in-person in my situation is low-risk, it's not a no-risk situation. While this has been stressful for me, I know this has been hard on my family. I appreciate their support and positivity throughout this challenging time. I'm glad that this vaccine will make my teaching situation safer for myself, my colleagues, my students and bring some comfort to my family. 

The risk of teaching in-person has been a weight on me this entire school year. While this vaccine is not a game-changer in my day to day activities as a teacher, it is when it comes to my own personal risk.  

I'm very aware that I got the vaccine because I teach at a prestigious private school with resources and connections.  I have great empathy for other teachers like those in Chicago Public Schools who are struggling to get vaccinated. Some of my best friends and educators I have a deep respect for are being asked to teach in-person without adequate supplies and a vaccine. While I don't think that having a vaccine is 100% necessary to teach in-person safety, the vaccine becomes more essential to teacher and student safety without a multitude of other mitigation practices. 

I don't think that I deserve the privileges that I have more than other educators. I think they deserve what I enjoy. We need to examine inequities and demand more for people who have less. Yes, sometimes this means that the richest people in our country pay more taxes. At the same, we need to remember that equity is not a pie and that providing more for others doesn't necessarily mean that we need to take away from others.  For example, if we pay more taxes so that students have better school, we all benefit in the long run morally and financially.  

It made my heart warm knowing that my school family will be safer in the coming weeks because of this vaccine. Employees at my school have lost family members to COVID-19, have had to distance from loved ones due to the risk of working in-person, and have carried the responsibility of creating a positive educational environment with grace and dignity holding while holding the anxiety of the pandemic at bay.

In the journey of the last 11 months, getting the vaccine is an important moment. Most of the most memorable and impactful moments of the teaching during a pandemic have been difficult. The shutting down of schools on March 12, the struggle of planning for in-person teaching, and quarantining after being exposed to a student who tested positive for COVID-19 were all really tough moments. This vaccine as a milestone is different. It's a movement in the other direction. It's a step to things getting better. 

After all this time, it feels like we are finally on the path out of the woods. 

I know that not everyone is on this path right now, but trust me, it's there.

Parenthood: Week 407 - Lucas's Life During The Padenmic

Most of Lucas’s life has been lived during a pandemic. 

When Lucas was born in December of 2019, we had no idea what was coming in the following year. 

For the three months of his life, our lives with Lucas was everything we expected. I had my paternity leave to spend with Lucas, and there much joy in our house. When March came around, the world came tumbling down, and for Lucas, some ways got better. No longer was he in the car, having his naps interrupted by drop-off and pick-up. Even though we were all busy, we were all home. That’s all he even wanted more than anything else, was for us to be around.  

I could not give as much direct attention to Lucas as I did to Ollie during his first year.  Lucas had two older brothers and I had a job situation, having to teach distance learning that I never did before in my life, which was very stressful. But I wasn’t the only person around. The attention he got from all of us, including his two older brothers, more than made up for what I wasn’t able to give to Lucas. 

Sadly, Lucas has not been able to spend time with so many important people in our lives.  He has never met my brother’s family, their children, Lucas’ wonderful cousins. While I am so happy, my parents made an effort to spend time with Lucas when he was born, and they haven’t seen him since. While this is hard to think about, who would have met Lucas if not for the pandemic, it is incredibly touching to know that so many people who have never met Lucas love him dearly and hold him in their hearts.  

Lucas was exactly what we all needed in this pandemic. He was sunshine in the darkest of nights. Untouched by the stress and trauma in the world, Lucas was there to pull us out of ourselves, slow down, and enjoy the quiet moments of baby cuddles. There was a time when we’d smile at him, and he would look at us puzzled, not being to smile at us as a young baby. And now, when I’m not in a good mood, Lucas will smile at me, and I can’t help but find peace and solace in his efforts to connect with me and make me happy.  

I’ve always heard that children were blessings, but I didn’t fully understand what that meant until we were deep into the pandemic. Yes, my children stress into my life and so much work. But all of that comes from the purpose I feel as a parent motivated by, above else, my love for my children. Having purpose and meaning in life is a blessing. I don’t think that all people need children to find meaning in their lives. However, during this pandemic, my children gave me a way to be, a way to see myself that has motivated me to get up every morning and be the best I can be for them and myself. 

I don’t know how I’m going to explain what happened in the world during the first year of Lucas’ life to him when he gets older, but I do know that I will tell him that he was one of the most important parts of my life that got me through this difficult time and for that I will always be grateful.

Year 11 – Week 20: Instead Of The Inauguration

It was a good week of teaching. 

The week started with similar anxiety as I had in previous weeks. Even since the insurrection, I’ve unsure of what the world was going to throw at me next and how I would have to, as a teacher, help my students process and understand things that I barely understand myself.  

I didn’t let myself get too excited about the inauguration because it felt like something that was not yet real. With all that has happened in the past year, I couldn’t imagine feeling disappointed and sad about something I’ve yearned for. As I started my work students on Monday, I started feeling more positive about what was coming.  

I had decided after winter break that I would do a unit on the anthem. NPR has this wonderful series on American anthems that inspired me. 

I knew that my students would watch the inauguration, so I wanted to do some work to prepare for the musical content. At the beginning of the week, it wasn’t clear what would be performed except for "The Star-Spangled Banner.”  

In all my classes 4th, 5th, 6th, and 8th grade, we learned about this song. The vast majority of students didn’t know the origins of this song, that the first verse ends in a question, and that there are things about it that are racist.  

 

I presented this information differently depending on the grade. It was enjoyable and interesting to present this information and help my students wrestle and process these new revelations about a song they have heard their entire life but never thought about.  

Like America itself, the dominant narrative about the anthem leaves a lot out. If you love this song as you love America, it’s important that you know the problematic lyrics and that Francis Scott Key was a slave owner.  

After the inauguration, I formed a lesson around President Biden’s quoting of the song “American Anthem” in his inaugural speech. I asked my students to think about why he quoted this anthem and not the “The Star-Spangled Banner.” I gave them some background on Norah Jones, who originally recorded this song. We watched some footage of her father, Ravi Shankar, performing and connected that she, like Vice President Harris, is an American who has a parent from India.  

Then we listened to “American Anthem.”  

 

It’s rare to sit and listen to a song and not do anything else, and it’s even rarer to do this with a group of people. Most of the time, when we listen to music in my classes, we are doing something else at the same time, like moving or watching a performance. For this experience, I chose to have them listen and do nothing else.  

This made me a little nervous.  It’s not a short song, and it’s slow. Even though I love this song, I was worried it wouldn’t connect to the students, and they would get bored without another way to engage as we listened.  

Every single class sat all the way silently through the song. After the song was over, students in each class shared how much they liked the song. As the song concluded, one class of 6th graders applauded. That moment felt magical. Sharing this song was one of those rare instances when a song that I love intersects with a meaningful, timely event and curricular unit. 

 It really worked.  

I wasn’t able to share watching the inauguration with my students. My school chose to have the middle school students watch it live and have the younger students watch it later that day and the next day. I was teaching my younger students when the inauguration happened. I didn’t have a moment to feel this important event with them. However, I had something important and unforgettable this week.  

I helped my students see more in “The Star-Spangled Banner,” and we experience the song “American Anthem” together as a classroom community. This is what I’m going to remember about this week, what it felt like to feel connected to my students as Americans through music.  

I have missed teaching band and teaching singing, but I didn’t miss it this week.

Parenthood: Week 406 – The Father: President-Elect Joe Biden

Four years ago, I had one son, and now I have three. Four years ago, I had a President who spoke openly about how his role as a father was one of the most important parts of his life, and right now, I have a President who has never had a meaningful thing to say about parenthood. Four years ago, I felt at a loss on how to be a father and how to protect my child against a monster coming into power, and now I am proud to be welcoming a new President, a proud father, and a role model for my children.  

President-elect Biden's political story is interwoven with his role as a father. Many people, including author Evan Osmos, have helped us understand Biden's life's narrative focused on his role as a father as much as his role as a leader is not some disingenuous act for the public. It's the truth.  

 

I'm 38-years-old.  

Biden lost his first wife and his daughter when 29-years-old. He was ready to give up his career as a Senator and become a stay at home dad for Hunter and Beau. And this resonates with me because I'd probably want to do the same thing.  

The horrible circumstance of having to bury your own son to cancer is not unique to Biden. However, the way he openly talked about his grief and somehow found a way to honor his son and give others hope is truly remarkable.  

 

I can't imagine having to deal with Biden's loss as a father, and I don't know how I'd react or deal with such an immense trauma. But I know that there is a way to move forward, feel the pain of the moment, and find the joy in memories and the love left behind because Joe Biden has shown me that.  

President-elect Biden will make mistakes. He will not be a flawless President, and there will be moments when he will frustrate those of us who supported him. Throughout it all, he will be Joe Biden, and he will be our President. A remarkable majority of Americans voted to elevate him to the most powerful position in our country. Regardless of the many reasons people voted for him, we have elevated a father, prouder of his children than any of his own accomplishments. When asked to show-off meaningful objects on The Late Late Show with James Corden, he didn't show off his Presidential Medal of Freedom or the numerous photos of him with world leaders; he showed off pictures of his children and his grandchildren.  

That is the kind of man we are welcoming as our President this week, and it will be a wonderful feeling to have an inspirational father in the White House.

Year 11 – Week 19: Finding The Motivation To Teach In-Person

I was not looking forward to teaching in-person this week. 

The COVID-19 infection rates and fatality statistics aren’t getting better. Yes, my school’s mitigation strategies have worked, and even with the addition of COVID-19 tests for all students and faculty who came back in-person, the risk is not zero. With the vaccine horizon, after months of doing the right thing, social distancing, and wearing masks, I am even less willing to take risks than I did last fall.  

The teaching zeitgeist in Chicago is not good. Chicago Public School has started in-person school, and many teachers are not on board.  

The Chicago Teachers Union and the Chicago Public Schools never agreed on a plan to bring students and teachers back. While we can debate which side is more at fault for the current situation, it is clear that there is significant conflict right now in the CPS. Unfortunately, there doesn’t seem to be a path to resolution.  

In Evanston, where I live, there continues to be tension around the plans to reopen the school. The superintendent and some members of the school board are acting divisively. Labels of “white supremacists” have been misused in response to people who have challenged the superintendent, creating a divide within a community that needs leadership to build bridges.  

After being responsible for countless unnecessary deaths, the trump’s administration handling of vaccine roll-out that delays teachers from getting the vaccine will lead to more deaths. It’s hard to be optimistic about any vaccination timeline. 

On top of all of this, I’ve been home remote teaching after Thanksgiving breakthrough winter break. That’s almost a month and a half. I know that the transition is hard on my family, especially my 3-year-old Ethan, and I was not looking forward to not having time to spend with him in the mornings.  

With all of this is happening in the world and swirling in my mind, it was a great week of teaching. The energy of my students pushed me through the day. We engaged in fun conversations and debates about “good” music and examined different anthems and what it meant to represent a group, body, or a cause through music.  

In discussions, students brought up ideas that I hadn’t thought of before. They were receptive to my activities and my feedback. And we had fun thinking deeply, engaging with others, and practicing and developing the skills needed to have productive, respectful, and inclusive discussions.  

It’s strange. I sit here at the end of this school week, and much has not changed in the world since this week started. In some ways, things have gotten worse. I would rather be at home, but I am happy that I taught this week in-person.  

When things get difficult, when the world gets dark, it’s hard to find the motivation to do. Staying static feels safe, but that doesn’t make us feel better. After the attacks on 9/11, my mom told me that we have get to work because that is the way to honor things that are lost and find purpose in the darkness.  

It was very hard this week to find the energy to make it to my school, but once I got into the classroom, the spirit, the work, and the magic of my student lifted me up, and I felt inspired.  

I’m looking forward to seeing them next week.

Parenthood: Week 405 – 1/11/22

Walking

We always suspected that Lucas would walk sooner than his brothers did developmentally. He's got two older brothers that he wants to keep up with.

He had a short army crawl face, figured out to get his butt up for a solid crawl, and he's been cruising around holding himself up on coffee tables and couches.

Lucas can walk about 3-5 steps if you hold his hands and give him a running start. He's just started to be able to pull himself up on a chair and launch his walk from. He hasn't quite figured out how to stand up from a sitting position and walk.

The adorable thing about Lucas walking is how he laughs he finds walking. He's always giggling with each step he takes. I think it's pride, joy, and fun all wrapped up in a huge smile.

I'll soon be chasing him around the house, but until then, I'll enjoy helping him up and letting him take a couple of steps and fall joyously into Diana's arms.

 

Mother and Kingsley

Last week, Ethan called Diana "mother," and he called me "Kingsley." I don't know why. I don't have any clue where he got this from, but he has started doing this.

Ethan also has become very good at saying, "thank you." The times when he really likes a meal, he is effusive with his compliments. I've also noticed that when I tell him about things I've done for him, like clean his bedsheets, he is very appreciative.

Often Ethan also completely ignores me when I tell him to stop doing something. He can scream louder than any human I've ever heard when having a tantrum. He is better with his sleep, but he still gets up too early, far too often. However, Ethan's sweet side is starting to come out more often, and it's adorable and endearing.

 

Big Brother

One of the major reasons that Ethan has thrived during the pandemic is Ollie. Yes, they have their squabbles, but more often than not, they are wonderful with each other, and so much of that is Ollie.

As the older brother, Ollie is the one that teaches Ethan how to play. Ollie is the one that has to display patience when Ethan isn't playing well or doing something right. Ollie cares so much about his younger brother, and he has included him in his play so often. He does for Ethan, like finding him his favorite television show and helping him fix toys that Ethan breaks. 

There's so much we don't see, small moments when Ollie is there for Ethan, and Ethan benefits in ways that will resonate throughout his life.

Year 11 – Week 18: Teachng After An Insurrection

I knew this week was going to be different, but I had no idea it was going to be like this.

It was the first week back after winter break. Like other years we had Monday as a teacher in-service day. These two factors were enough to make this week unique in past years, but this year is special. My school decided that this week the whole school would be remote to give us time to have all of the faculty and students do COVID-19 testing before resuming in-person school next week. I really appreciate that my school is making this extra step to lessen the chances of exposure. No, testing will not ensure that COVID-19 will not spread at my school, but combined with other mitigation practices, it will make a difference in keeping students and faculty safe.

That all seemed like enough of a challenge for this week, and then on Wednesday, the insurrection at the Capitol Building happened in Washington D.C. instigated by trump. If all teachers had to do was list through this event and go back to teaching on Thursday morning, that would challenge. But the fact that we had the responsibility as educators to address the riot made this Thursday and Friday much more difficult.

In moments like these, teachers need to be careful that what they are doing is for their students and not themselves, and not to make assumptions about students' reactions.

Some people felt the events of Wednesday very deeply, and some people didn't. People who weren't immediately emotionally aren't necessarily people who lack empathy. Some people process emotions and react to events differently and at different speeds. Children in school need to have the space to do this as well.

I asked my students on Thursday and Friday if they wanted to had any thoughts or reflections they wanted to share about Wednesday's events, and none of them wanted to. They had talked about this in-depth with other teachers, so I asked them to share parts of those discussions with me. I was happy to hear that my colleagues had created space for them to process what had happened.

I told my students that the seditious riots on Wednesday are very difficult to process and understand. It's ok for them to be confused, ask questions, and feel differently about what happened than other people. Then I helped them understand how our work exploring 1960s Motown and Atlantic Records music was important. 1960s Motown and Atlantic Records music was important.

Sometimes doing anti-racist work very hard. It can be painful work that can bring up challenging emotions to experience and process. And sometimes anti-racist work can be joyful and fun. What we are doing, trying to figure out what is awesome, inspiring, and beautiful about Black music of the 1960s, is anti-racist work, and it's a great time. As we connect to music, we better understand the people and the culture behind that music. This helps us see people different from us and ourselves as more human. As racism lies in how people see others as less than human, anti-racist work is finding the humanity in others, and music is a wonderful way to do that.  So let's get to work.

Parenthood: Week 404 – 20 Moments Of 2020: Part 7

3. Kamala Harris: For The Children

When Vice President-Elect Harris' addressed the children of America, I was so proud and excited. Finally, I could let my children hear and view our country's two highest leaders with comfort and pride. 

 

I haven't allowed my children to hear the President speak for the past four years. trump often uses inappropriate language and models immaturity. The content of his speeches and interviews full of lies. At some point, when they are older, I will show them footage of trump speaking and explain to him why they didn't see footage of him when they were younger, but for now, I have chosen to shield them from him.  

Vice President-Elect Harris's victory speech was not about her.  

It was about us and our future.  

She talked about her own children, President-elect Bidens' children, and then she spoke directly to America's children. It was a message of self-worth, imagination, and courage. She was giving words to the examples her actions had displayed in 2020, and I was proud to make sure that my sons heard her speak these words to them.  

… and to the children of our country regardless of your gender, our country has sent you a clear message: Dream with ambition, lead with conviction and see yourselves in a way that others may not simply because they've never seen it before. 

But know that we will applaud you every step of the way."

 

2. Our Sons

First, he disregarded Beau, the son of President-elect Biden lost to cancer. Then he made multiple false statements about his other son Hunter and brought his struggles with drug abuse as an insult. I have heard trump say many horrible things and insulting things, but this line of attacks felt extraordinarily despicable and hurtful.  

 

As I watched this attack, I allowed myself to be in that place. I was there with President-elect Biden and felt the blows of each of those words, and it hurt. From the look on his face, it was clear that President-elect Biden was also feeling this attack deeply.  

What would you do at this moment? What would you do if a person viciously attacked your children in front of millions of viewers? How would you respond? 

Joe responded with love.  

He could have gone on the attack, he could have changed the subject, or he could have distanced himself from his son's challenges.  

Instead, he said, "my son." With his words, he held his sons close to him. He showed the world what it meant to love one's child, unconditionally. And he reminded parents the most powerful way to defend your child is through the power of your love.

Year 11 – Week 17: 20 Moments Of 2020: Part 6

5. Empty Hallways and Empty Classrooms

When Dr. Jill Biden starting walking down that empty school hallway, I immediately started crying. For the first time in months, I felt seen a teacher. At that moment, I realized how much I needed empathy and validation and how traumatized I was by months of struggling as an educator in America.



Education in America was in a crisis before the pandemic, and when it came, it only got worse. Instead of feeling empathy, direction, and support from trump, devos, and his administration, teachers were used as pawns. trump only spoke about teachers being in-person to fulfill his misguided economic goals, and devos avoided all leadership and responsibility in helping teachers and schools manage this crisis.

As Dr. Biden spoke, Dr. Biden’s genuine love of students, teachers, and passion for education was clear. This was not some political figure saying things to pander to a group of constituents. This was a teacher talking about how much she loved teaching, how much these empty classrooms made our hearts hurt, and the intangible that has been lost because we have not been able to congregate in schools as a group of learners. 

Dr. Biden spoke about our current struggles, what they meant to our country, but more importantly, how they felt. With hope, courage, and clarity, Dr. Biden helped me see myself, my struggles, and my passion for education in that empty classroom and her powerful words. And for a moment, I knew that I wasn’t alone and that with Dr. Biden looking out for me, there was something more than hope in our future, a real possibility of positive and essential change. 

  

4. 3/13/20

This is the most significant single day in my teaching career. It was the last day before we went remote last spring. It was the day that the reality of the pandemic transformed my life forever. And it was a day of great turmoil, tremendous anxiety, and incredible fear

It feels like everything I’ve done in my teaching career led to that day. All of my work and the years of experience gave me the skills to keep focused and moving through that week and the months that followed.

What had to happen on that day and the months that followed will forever shape how I see my job as a teacher and the role of education in America. It was the worst of times, and if we do right by ourselves and our students, the best of time will be in our future.