Year 8: Week 5 – Feeling The Love

I love teaching, but I don't always feel the love. There are tasks around teaching that I don’t enjoy (nothing really is that bad) and there is stress, mostly self-induced, based on the desire to be a reflective practitioner and teach with best practice.

There was something about this week, where I just noticed moments where I felt the love of teaching. Here’s what I’m talking about:

This is 7th Grade
After school I was meeting with a teacher and we heard a knock on the door. It was a student that the teacher had taught last year. She came by to say hello to the other teacher. The teacher I was meeting with took a leave last year and this students wanted to welcome her back. The student said, “I’m so happy to see you, you look wonderful. I wanted to say welcome back to my favorite teacher.” The continued with words of appreciation and warmth. There was nothing sarcastic about her tone. She was being open, honest and genuine about her joy and appreciation for this other teacher. Sometimes in what seems like a sea of attitude and hormones, it's easy to forget that this expression of kindness is very much what being a 7th grader is all about.

Excitement
It was just a middle school band song, and it was very much a middle school band song. I chose it because it was catchy and interesting but it was not a song that I would ever listen for pleasure on my own time. It’s a song that most band teachers, or people who enjoy band music would listen to more than once or twice. When I started playing the song, I gave the students directions on how to follow along with the music. Then I noticed her smiling. Then she started bouncing up and down, and finally she couldn’t hold it in anymore, “I like this SO MUCH!” It was adorable. After class she asked me for a link to the recording so she could listen to it on her phone.

The Interview
I was delighted when I got the email from her. I hadn’t talked to her since I last taught her in 5th grade and now she was a high school senior. She wanted to interview me for an article in the school paper. We scheduled a time and we met up after school. As we talked, I couldn’t get over how much she had grown up. She was confident, thoughtful and a great interviewer. We talked about how her life was going and it was really wonderful to hear about the great things she was doing in her life.

The Story
All I asked my 3rd graders to do was come up with sounds on instruments that sounded like animals. One student took it a step further and came up with an entire story. It started with a baby fox who got lost and eventually found his parents. He told this story musically line on a xylophone and then added harmony. It was creative, fascinating, and a joy to experience.

Parenthood: Week 223 – Self-Care Through Childcare

Yesterday morning, on a lazy Sunday, I wanted to just stay in bed with my son. Ollie had crawled into bed with me. After cuddling for a little bit, I asked Ollie if he wanted me to read him a book. Ollie replied by rolling out of bed and bringing over a couple books. After we were done, Ollie said that he wanted to eat breakfast.

I felt so tired in that moment. Why couldn’t we just cuddle in bed for a little bit longer? I rolled out of bed and Ollie wrapping his hand around my pointer finger, led me downstairs to the kitchen.

I stood in the kitchen, in a daze, and then I started making Ollie breakfast. Energy came to me as I worked, I started moving faster, and I felt better emotionally and physically. By the time I had Ollie’s breakfast ready, I was ready to fast the day, even before preparing my own breakfast.

There are times that I do not look forward to taking care of Ollie. In the past, when I’ve found that Ollie has wet his bed, I immediately feel frustration, but as soon as I get his sheets in the wash and his bed set up with new sheets I feel pretty good about myself (which is actually pretty easy, we just layer his sheets, potty pad/sheet/potty pad/sheet, so it’s just an issue off tearing off a layer).

I’ve been trying to focus more on self-care in my life. For those of us who are minorities, we experience levels of trauma from micro-aggressions to explicit racism every single day. With the 45th continuing giving voice to the worst amongst in offensive and horrible ways, the trauma feels like its non-stop. Self-care in this atmosphere is has to be a continuous, deliberate, and active act. Sometime self-care is isolation and doing things for oneself, but many times I’m finding that the act of parenting and the role of parenthood is an essential part of my self-care.

When I take care of Ollie, I am doing something that in my soul I know is absolutely, 100% right. There is no doubt in my mind that by caring for him, I am making the world a better place. Every hug, every kiss, every affirmation, and every smile that we share, bring meaning to my life. It’s in this meaning, that my soul feels full.

The care I do for Ollie isn’t always pleasurable, but I never regret taking care of him. When it’s done, no matter how annoying, or aggravating that care might be when it’s happening, I feel proud knowing that I am a good person, a good father and a good man for taking care of my son. Like running 5K every other day, reading books, and watching professional wrestling, caring for Ollie is an essential way that I take care of myself.

Can we give too much to our kids? Yes. We do need to set limits, and if we try to do everything for our kids, we will fail and we may resent our role as a parent. But I’m not there right now. Not by a long shot.

I get far more back than I give to my boy, and even when I’m exhausted, I never fail to find something to give to my special little guy.

Year 8: Week 4 – Prep Time

There are many things about teaching that make it rise to an art form. The ability to adjust a lesson mid-stream to address the needs of a class, how a master teacher can lead students through Socratic-like discussions, and the way great teachers perfectly manage students’ time when working on projects are truly amazing levels of skill and craft.

One part of teaching, that isn’t discussed as much, but is a critical is the art of managing prep time effectively.

Prep time, the time that teachers spend at school not teaching is difficult to manage. There is never enough prep time for teachers. This isn’t a superlative; it’s just a fact. I’m not going to break down why in this post, but talk to any teacher and they will explain why.

In this limited amount of prep time teachers have to: make photo copies, answer emails, call parents, write lesson plans, work through materials, make worksheets, correct papers, enter grades, meet with other teachers, clean the classroom, prepare visual aids, set-up technology, meet with students, meet with administrators, and serve on committees. Some teachers even have to do recess duty, and lunch duty during their prep time. Others have write grants and manage fundraisers during their prep time to fund their own classrooms.

Also, during prep time teachers need to do things that help them function as human being including eating lunch, going to the bathroom, and taking mental breaks.

My positive feelings about a week of teaching are very much reliant on how well I manage my prep time. If I do a good job of using this time, I take care of my own personal needs (e.g. eating), I make progress on projects, and I feel adequately prepared for class. This success directly leads into better teaching, which more than anything else brings me satisfaction as an educator.

This week I did pretty good with my prep time. I knocked off a bunch of stuff on my to do list, got caught up with my lesson planning and actually ate meals around the time that I should, for the most part. There was one day that I didn’t eat breakfast until 10:30. . .

How did I do this? Hmm. . . not sure. I’m still trying to figure this out, but here’s a couple things I figured out that I think will help in the future.

1. Eat and go to the bathroom, when you can and when you need to: Eating and bathroom time is scheduled for teachers. I can’t leave my kids in the middle of class to use the bathroom for the most part. Sometimes I get caught up in things and delay going to the bathroom or eating. Doing this makes me less productive, and puts me in situations when I don’t have time to take care of my body.

2.  Don’t do large chunks of email every day: Checking your email can take a long time. While I do this every day, I’ve found that if I only do like ten minutes of this one-day and then forty-five minutes the next day, email is more managable. Often, harder to write emails are easier to write after thinking about for a day.

3. Alternate between finite and long-term activities: Some tasks like lesson planning are never done, but others like photocopying can truly be done. Moving between these types of tasks gives your brain a break and especially with photocopying gets you up and about.

4.  Make time to laugh with colleagues:  I don't believe that complaining in the teachers lounge about students, other teachers, or administrators is productive.  However, I do feel that finding time every day in your prep periods to hang out with optimistic teachers that make you feel good about what you do and who you are is essential to your mental well-being as a teacher.

The most important thing we do as teachers is take care of ourselves.  If you have the most masterful lesson plans, and a perfect but you are mentally fried, hungry, and need to go to your bathroom, you're not going to have a good teaching period.  However, if you body feels good, and your level of optimism is full, you can make it through a lesson that isn't well planned out with success and a smile.  

What teachers manage to do in this small amount of prep time is almost as incredible as what teachers do in front of kids.  Figuring out how to manage this time is difficult, but try to make sure to take care of yourself first.  The best lessons are taught by example, and if our students know we take time for ourselves, then they are more likely to take care of themselves like we tell them to as they leave our classrooms.  

Parenthood: Week 222 – Ollie’s Interests 9/18/17

What’s going on the world of Ollie?

Ollie’s goto vegetable is bell peppers, raw bell peppers. This is the only vegetable that he will consistently eat, except for romaine lettuce, without any dressing. He’ll do a burger (preferably without the bun) and he’s gotten into hotdogs. Ollie likes them with ketchup and that’s fine by me. I like my Chicago dog with ketchup and I think the anti-ketchup on hot dog sentiment in Chicago is silly. If people were as forceful about their opinions about hot dog condiments as they were about social justice . . .

Ollie is also a fan of breakfast sausage (he prefer the patty form) and frozen chocolate waffles.  He enjoys “peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with out the peanut butter.” Like most kids, he does like his pizza, chocolate, and ice cream.

Dinosaurs have consistently held his interest throughout the summer and into this fall. He has little dinosaur toys that he plays with. Sometimes he acts out parts of Land Before Time (which was REALLY into a couple weeks ago). Other times he arranges them on the floor and tries to remember their names. This has bled into his book interests. How Do Dinosaurs Go To School? By Jane Yolen & Mark Teague is part of a series of books that teaches kids how to behave in certain situations., Ollie is mostly interested in the types of dinosaurs, most of which I’ve never heard of), that are featured in this book.

Transformers Rescue Bots continue to fascinate Ollie. He will play these figures, setting them up, arranging them, and playing out plots for long stretches of time, sometimes almost forty-five minutes. He takes one to sleep every night and we wake up to the sound of him transforming these toys from car to robot mode in the morning.

School is going well. He’s got back into the grove of things without a lot of drama. He’s in the same classroom with the same teacher and many of he same classmates which helps. We are really happy with the work he is doing in school.  The things he learns from school delight me.  Like when recently he shared “I’m A Little Teapot,” complete with hand motions, which he learned at school.

Ollie is getting really good at giving bonus kisses, and his hugging skills continue to develop at an adorable pace.  He'll cuddle and give kisses to his little brother in utero, hugging and kissing Diana's abdomen.  Ollie's current name suggestion for his unborn brother is Sharptooth-Lava-Monster.  

On weekend mornings, he crawls into bed with me and wants to start the morning cuddling with me and reading a book. This annoyed me over the summer, but now that I’m back at work, this little ritual that now only happens on the weekends.  Something, I once disliked has become the highlight of my week.

Year 8: Week 3 - Feeling The Vibe

My new and strangely effective classroom management strategy is to talk about “vibe.” By “vibe,” I mean the feeling in the room, the overall mood. I’m not quite sure why I started doing this, but it seemed felt like a good idea and it’s been working.

I was teaching a bunch of my 3rd graders and we were having a discussion and a couple students were making distracting jokes. I paused, got all of the students’ attention and explained that I was feeling uncomfortable. I asked if anyone else was feeling slightly off and many of them nodded.

I gave them directions on how we could better focus, we moved on with the lesson and at the end, I asked them if people felt better and the class responded that they did.

Often, our feelings during a lesson mirror our students’ feelings. If we feel excited and satisfied with how a lesson is going, most likely the students will too, and if you feel stressed or uncomfortable, there is probably some portion of the class that feels this as well. This gets tricky because sometimes a students’ expression of discomfort is them goofing off in class. However, I do believe that most of the time, kids are with us emotionally for better or for worse.

It isn’t easy to be open with your kids and tell them how you feel in a moment, especially if the feeling isn’t positive. However, taking the chance to open up provides some important things for the students. Kids need to learn that their words have emotional consequences. Sometimes the best way for that to happen is for teachers to explain how the words make them feel.

If there are a couple kids who are off-topic and it’s annoying other students, by stating that you as the teacher are also annoyed, you are validating other students’ feelings. Validating is a way of helping other students feel like they are seen and known. This has the potential to empower them. Also, helping kids be aware of their own emotions is another way for them to calm themselves and focus.

I don’t think I did this as a younger teacher because I didn’t want to reveal to my students that they had influence over my lesson and my emotions. If this is done too often than it becomes all about the teachers’ feelings which isn’t a good thing. It’s our reality and I think too often students don’t realize that they have power to make a room feel uncomfortable, and with the proper guidance, they can learn an even more important lesson: they can make a room feel safe and welcoming.

When things have been grooving in a class and students feel good. I’ve asked my students if they feel good and they do. It’s wonderful to share in this feeling of togetherness.

The theme this past week for me, is “chase the vibe.” Let’s work together to get to that good feeling when we are all on the same page making great music. In music, the best experiences feel great and the same goes true for the classroom.

Parenthood: Week 221 – The Bridge

I didn’t think that he had a chance.

It was a basic monkey bridge made up of a single length of rope tied between two trees. On either side of the rope a couple feet higher were two other ropes used to for hand holds. These ropes were tied every couple feet to the bottom rope.

Ollie eagerly got in line to cross this bridge. I was bracing myself for him being disappointed after a couple steps or being scared and not wanting to do it. Kids much older than Ollie were having trouble crossing the bridge. There was one kid, about Ollie’s size who didn’t even make it up the ladder to the bridge.

Ollie climbed right up the ladder and the people helping out asked him his name. He didn’t say it very loudly, so they misheard him and called him a different name. This was a first bad sign in my thinking, but after I cleared that up, Ollie was ready to go.

He grabbed a lady’s hand on the other side of me to steady himself and with some coaxing he grabbed my own hand. We helped him the first couple steps until they pulled down the side ropes low enough for him to hold.

Ollie methodically and carefully crossed the ladder. His tongue flicked out the side of his mouth, (a cute habit he does when he’s concentrating). I kept standing next to him, carefully spotting Ollie waiting for him to slip or ask to get off the bridge, but he just kept on, eyes forward.

When he got to the end, he jumped off into my arms. I  hugged him and told him that I was proud of him.

In that moment, I doubted him. This wasn’t because I don’t believe in him, it’s because, it’s hard to not see him as my special little guy. As old as he gets and as much has he matures, I keep having these flashes of him as a baby in my head and at times it’s just hard to accept all that he really can do.

It’s a contradiction in my heart. I want him to be more independent and self-confident, but at the same time, I miss times when he was more dependent on me. I know I can’t have it both ways but part of me really wishes I could.

In the fifteen years I’ve been with my wife Diana, our dependency on each other has varied some but not dramatically. However, in the four years Ollie’s been in my life, there has been a drastic change in how much less depending he is on me. He used to need me for literally everything besides breathing to stay alive, and now, he’s crossing bridges that would make me nervous, without me.  Few relationships in our lives is like parenthood that change so dramatically is such a small period of time.

I hope Ollie keeps crossing bridges. I’ll keep reaching out just in case he needs me, and if he doesn't I may be a little sad, but more than that, I'll be proud.

Year 8: Week 2 – Snapshots of 6th & 3rd

6th Grade Band

We tried a new way of helping our 6th graders choose band or choir. In the past we have  had every kid try every band instrument. That’s a little crazy and takes a lot of time, but the idea was that even for kids who knew they were going to choose choir, this was, for most, a once in a lifetime opportunity to try to play these instruments. The issue was that this took a lot of time and I wasn’t sure that this was the most effective way to motivate students to join band.

This year we decided that we would have the students have a listening experience and focus on which instrument they liked best based on the timbre of the instrument. This would be followed with trying some of the band instruments, not all based on their timbre preference. There has been research that has shown that this is more effective for recruiting and the logic is sound. At the end of the day, if they don’t like how an instrument sounds, then they aren’t going to stick with it. This is combined with trying the instrument to address how the instrument works physically. It’s a new process for us, it gets us started earlier in the year and hopefully it will lead to students being more motivated to work on their instrument and growth for our band program.

3rd Grade
During a short transition in 3rd grade music, one student jokingly called another student “transgender.” I was surprised that this happened, but I didn’t feel unprepared. I talked to the whole class about identity and how we don’t make fun of how people identify. Things like race, religion, ethnicity, and gender identity are not things to joke about. It took some doing to help the class understand that this was not a moment to laugh and there were some giggles because they were uncomfortable, but they received the message pretty well.

I confirmed that this was not a comment made out of malice or a comment that was made with the full understanding of the meaning of the comment.  I was glad that I could make this into a teachable moment.

I was only able to address this topic openly and frankly because of a couple factors. I knew that I had the academic freedom to throw out the rest of my lesson plan to have this discussion and no administrator would second guess my choice. I was also sure that the homeroom teacher would back me up 100% and address the students with the same level of candor as me. This is what it all comes down to. When teaching about diversity, equity, and inclusion, I’m powerless without the support of my educational community.

This isn't just my work, it's all of our work as a school.  We commit to this work. Yes, I'm a music teacher, but today, teaching about gender identity was more important than any musical concept we covered.    

Parenthood: Week 220 - Seesaw

It’s never a good feeling knowing that your kid is missing you.

I try to be rational about these emotions. The fact that my son misses me, means that we have a strong bond and that I am something to him that is worth missing, something that is important to him. We miss the people in our lives that we love the most. This logic helps but only to a point.

I started school last week, and Ollie starts school this week. This means that Ollie was home and hadn’t started his school routine. The rituals from the summer, like Ollie crawling over to my side of the bed and then both of us moving to his bed to cuddle and read a book together have had to stop. I know Ollie missed this when I was gone, since I leave for work usually before he wakes up.

It wasn’t difficult to flip into work mode this past week. Ollie was on my mind, more than normal and while it wasn’t hard to focus on work, there were times when I really just wanted to be at home with my boy.

There is another piece that has made the beginning of this year feel different. Number two is on the way in late October, which means that in a short period of time, I will be taking my paternity leave just as the year is getting started.

This is where things get complicated.

The time that I had off from teaching when Ollie was born made the entire school year feel different. The kids did fine and during that year, great things happened, but it didn’t feel like one of my best years of teaching. The more I talk to parents who are teachers, the more I realize that this is a common thing. When you chose to go on leave, it means that you have a school year that just doesn’t feel as good as other years. It’s okay, and it’s the right thing to do, but it doesn’t always feel that way.

When you are work, you are feeling guilty that you can’t be at home more and then when you are home, you feel guilty you aren’t at work. I have found a balance in the past, when I’ve been able to put work aside completely in my mind and focus only on my family. However, I’ve never been able to get in the state of my mind when my family doesn’t distract me, even in a small way from work.

Part of being a working parent is learning to live with this seesaw of work/life balance, enjoy the rare times when things are balanced and learn to accept that more often than not, things are out of whack.

That’s the way things are right now, out of whack. But that’s okay. The times I had with Ollie this past weekend were nice. It doesn’t make up for time away but it’s a reminder that what I am missing is something real, and something important. Something worth missing, and something that makes the struggle worth it.

Year 8: Week 1 – 8th Grade Band Class 1

We started school today, which means that we had 8th grade band on the first day of school.  I wanted to spend time making music and I also wanted my students to think reflectively to start the process of doing some goal-setting. However, I knew the kids didn’t have instruments, and I didn’t want to give my band students a writing assignment on the first day of class.

First solution was drum circle. I moved our hand drums (tubanos and djembes) to the band room. My plan was to greet each students at the door, have a short, but personal interaction with each student and invite them into the band room to select a drum.

Some of my 8th graders enjoyed my receiving line style of greeting them.  Others were confused, and one students just run past me completely. I don’t think they all understood what I was trying to do but it felt good making eye contact with each one of my kid’s, saying there name and having a short conversation. It’s important that they know above all else that I value them as a person and that they deserve my time and attention.

We drummed and we drummed. We made some great music together. I taught them two songs I learned at a summer workshop. I kept them moving. A lot of the students worked really hard and were very focused. Some weren’t, but the group managed to work through these bumps.

For the reflection piece I adapted the Identity Walk Activity. The original activity is a very powerful way to think about the different facets of identify: gender, sexual orientation, age, etc. by moving through space related to certain prompts. Signs are put around the room with these different identifiers and people walk to them after given prompts (e.g. This it the aspect of my identity that I am most comfortable discussing).

I changed this from identity to these musical factors: tone, reading notes, rhythmic accuracy, note accuracy, attitude, expression, (e.g. dynamics, articulations), and teamwork. The idea is that they hear a prompt and silently walk towards these factors, which were posted at different parts of the room. 

The prompts were:

• This is a musical skill I feel most proud of.
• I know the least about:
• This is our band greatest musical strength.
• This is my instrument sections greatest musical strength.
• I feel most comfortable helping others in the band with their:
• I have most often been evaluated in past music classes in past years by my . 
• I have experienced the most joy around accomplishments in this area of music.

They moved around the room, observing each other as they moved.  They were really honest and it was a great check to see how my perceptions differed from their own views of themselves and the group as a band. There was a good vibe in the room. They kept wanting to talk about where they were going, which I tried to stop, but I kind of let it go, because I could tell they were talking productively for the most part.

We didn’t have a lot of time to discuss the activity, but the comments that were said were positive about the activity and the vibe in the room was good. I told them that I felt more pride than shame in the room and that I was looking forward to a great year.

That was class one.