Our family went on an adventure last week to Hawaii. It was a great time, but like anything with children it had its challenges. One of the things that you come to realize as a parent is that every time you take your children anywhere it requires a level of effort, and a roll of the dice. There’s a chance that everything can go right, and a great time is had by all. However, there’s also a chance that things could go wrong.
You could run out of diapers at the worst moment possible, your child could have a meltdown for seemingly no reason, or you could your car could break down, which is a much more challenging situation with a baby in the car.
With the roll of the dice, the rewards are also greater. The good times in life are more meaningful and memorable when they are shared with your children. There is a level of accomplishment that is felt when you get home after an outing, and your children are the best kind of tired. The effort seems worth it when parental amnesia kicks in and the memory of the eight-hour plane flight fades while the wonderful feeling of seeing your son play in the ocean waves for the first time solidifies.
This Hawaii trip was a massive roll of the dice, and it paid off in ways that I never imagined. Any way you spin it a flight to Hawaii from Chicago with children is going to be rough. The time change is going to be a challenge and having children completely out of their routine makes meltdowns more likely.
There were many wonderful moments and new experiences we got to share with our children, however the thing that stuck with me the most was how time felt on this trip.
I live my daily life almost always conscientious of time. Maybe it’s because I have never lived my life since a child not living the structure of a pre-determined school schedule. Or maybe it’s because of the punctuality of my parents who put great value in showing respect through valuing another person’s time and your own. Whatever it is, I’m constantly thinking about the passage of time.
On this trip for the first time I can remember I had moments when I let go of thinking about time. It happened when I was playing in the pool with my children, exploring tide-pools formed out of volcanic rock, staying up late talking to Diana after the boys had went to bed, and lounging in a pool chair with Ollie. Time existed in my present but it’s passage wasn’t on my mind. It was unnerving at first like I walking on a tightrope without a net, but after a while it felt liberating. In this space I was more present to enjoy life, and time with my family.
Time enables us to do more as parents. It helps us teach our children to manage their bodies, and it makes it possible to explore the world around them and connect with others. However, time on our mind, can limit our present thoughts and our ability to be an active parent.
Ollie is at an age when he asks a lot of questions. Sometimes I don’t feel like I have time to answer all of them as well as I would like to, but on this trip I felt like I did. This felt wonderful as a father. I'm not sure how to create this feeling in my life at home, but I will figure a way to have more time away from time.
My family is worth it.
Monday, February 25, 2019
Friday, February 22, 2019
Top 10 of 2018: Part 6 - The Sister Survivors
Top 10 of 2018
To review, here's how to got here (hyperlinked to the posts)
10. The Rowdy One - Ronda Rousey In The WWE
9. By The Way, Brandi Is Back - Brand Carlile's Incredible New Album
8. Two Years Later - 2018 Elections
7. Baha - Ethan's Hearing Aid
6. She Persisted - The MX
5. Of Color - Affinity Spaces
4. Reading To Me - Ollie Learning How To Read
3. The Attack - Buffy...
2. Asian-Aaron Burr, Sir
1. The Sister Survivors
It was a story about children and parents. It was a story with incredible heroes and villains, some pathetic for their inaction and one that was evil beyond comprehension. It was an uniquely American story in it focus on sports and competition, and “success” as an ends to justify the worst “means.” It was a story that defined strength and courage as the act of speaking truth to power as opposed to muscular strength and masculine bravado.
It was a story about the value put on women and girls in our society and the consequence of allowing men to define their masculinity at the cost of others. It is a story about oppression, exploitation, sexuality, and empathy. To me it was the single most meaningful story of 2018. It defined the year and continues to resonate in the way I look at America and the people in my life.
It is the story of the Sister Survivors.
What happened in 2018 was not the beginning or an end but an important moment in this story. Larry Nassar had been abusing girls for decades and the litigation to hold people accountable continues far past Nassar’s sentencing. Those who heard the reports about his abusive actions and did not act have not all yet been held accountable, and the money the Sister Survivors are due are tied up in the courts cruelly dragging out this process. However, what happened this year was a significant turning point.
America was forced to see the pain and the horror of the abuse as the Sister Survivors testifies during the sentencing hearing. Judged Aqualina opened the court for these women to have a moment to face Nassar. Their words were more than testimonies. They were essential stories, lectures, and lessons about the sins and failure not just of a one person but of all of us as a whole society.
During the ESPYS a couple months later we saw these women again not in a court but on stage. We were reminded in that moment that beyond victims, they were full of strength and spirit. They were survivors and sisters.
In a year where the renaissance of podcasts continued, Believed, which told the story of the Nassar case provided more background and incredible depth. Like other great podcasts, it once again proved that some stories are told best in the time, space, and humanity only that podcast provide.
I can go on about the importance of this case in every facet of our society but for fear of mansplaining I will not. Writers like Alanna Vagianos of the Huffington Post in her series about this case analyzes this story far better than me. So instead I will talk about how this story has changed me and my life.
When Dr. Blassey Ford testified against that guy being in the Supreme Court, I saw how Nassar’s victims will carry their pain their entire lives. When that TSA agent called Diana, my wife, “hon,” and I could see in her eyes that it bothered her, I knew that she didn’t feel free to speak up because of the position of power of the agent. It hurt my heart to see this, and feel a much lesser degree of helplessness not knowing how to speak up for her.
When I see my niece instead of opening my arms up for a hug and pick her up when I greet her, I ask her if I can give her a hug. When Ollie says anything that even hints at gener stereotypes, we talk about it. We've discussed everything from hair length, to whoo does the laundry and who cooks dinner.
When I see girls, soon to be women in my classroom I know that my job is not to treat all my students equally. I have to address sexual oppression explicitly and consistently. How I educate all of my students may be the difference in preventing Nassar-like abuse. It’s not enough to be “fair” being feminist is the baseline, as we do the essential work addressing and deconstructing harmful expressions of masculinity.
Tupac wondered in “Keep Ya Head Up":
To review, here's how to got here (hyperlinked to the posts)
10. The Rowdy One - Ronda Rousey In The WWE
9. By The Way, Brandi Is Back - Brand Carlile's Incredible New Album
8. Two Years Later - 2018 Elections
7. Baha - Ethan's Hearing Aid
6. She Persisted - The MX
5. Of Color - Affinity Spaces
4. Reading To Me - Ollie Learning How To Read
3. The Attack - Buffy...
2. Asian-Aaron Burr, Sir
1. The Sister Survivors
It was a story about children and parents. It was a story with incredible heroes and villains, some pathetic for their inaction and one that was evil beyond comprehension. It was an uniquely American story in it focus on sports and competition, and “success” as an ends to justify the worst “means.” It was a story that defined strength and courage as the act of speaking truth to power as opposed to muscular strength and masculine bravado.
It was a story about the value put on women and girls in our society and the consequence of allowing men to define their masculinity at the cost of others. It is a story about oppression, exploitation, sexuality, and empathy. To me it was the single most meaningful story of 2018. It defined the year and continues to resonate in the way I look at America and the people in my life.
It is the story of the Sister Survivors.
What happened in 2018 was not the beginning or an end but an important moment in this story. Larry Nassar had been abusing girls for decades and the litigation to hold people accountable continues far past Nassar’s sentencing. Those who heard the reports about his abusive actions and did not act have not all yet been held accountable, and the money the Sister Survivors are due are tied up in the courts cruelly dragging out this process. However, what happened this year was a significant turning point.
America was forced to see the pain and the horror of the abuse as the Sister Survivors testifies during the sentencing hearing. Judged Aqualina opened the court for these women to have a moment to face Nassar. Their words were more than testimonies. They were essential stories, lectures, and lessons about the sins and failure not just of a one person but of all of us as a whole society.
During the ESPYS a couple months later we saw these women again not in a court but on stage. We were reminded in that moment that beyond victims, they were full of strength and spirit. They were survivors and sisters.
In a year where the renaissance of podcasts continued, Believed, which told the story of the Nassar case provided more background and incredible depth. Like other great podcasts, it once again proved that some stories are told best in the time, space, and humanity only that podcast provide.
I can go on about the importance of this case in every facet of our society but for fear of mansplaining I will not. Writers like Alanna Vagianos of the Huffington Post in her series about this case analyzes this story far better than me. So instead I will talk about how this story has changed me and my life.
When Dr. Blassey Ford testified against that guy being in the Supreme Court, I saw how Nassar’s victims will carry their pain their entire lives. When that TSA agent called Diana, my wife, “hon,” and I could see in her eyes that it bothered her, I knew that she didn’t feel free to speak up because of the position of power of the agent. It hurt my heart to see this, and feel a much lesser degree of helplessness not knowing how to speak up for her.
When I see my niece instead of opening my arms up for a hug and pick her up when I greet her, I ask her if I can give her a hug. When Ollie says anything that even hints at gener stereotypes, we talk about it. We've discussed everything from hair length, to whoo does the laundry and who cooks dinner.
When I see girls, soon to be women in my classroom I know that my job is not to treat all my students equally. I have to address sexual oppression explicitly and consistently. How I educate all of my students may be the difference in preventing Nassar-like abuse. It’s not enough to be “fair” being feminist is the baseline, as we do the essential work addressing and deconstructing harmful expressions of masculinity.
Tupac wondered in “Keep Ya Head Up":
Why we rape our women, do we hate our women?We aren’t at that moment yet when we are all doing all we can for our women but because of the Sister Survivors, that time is closer than its ever been before.
I think it's time to kill for our women
Time to heal our women,
be real to our women.
Tuesday, February 19, 2019
Parenthood: Week 306 – Satisfaction of Rituals...on a plane...with children?!?
LOL! Getting work done on a plane?!?One of my favorite bloggers is Bethany Crystal. She writes wonderful and entertaining, reflections on life through a personal and professional lens. I met Bethany in college and everything I enjoyed about knowing her, her optimism, her intelligence, and her wonderful geek-like passion about so many things in life comes through in her blog. I highly recommend following this blog.
Bethany recently wrote this blog post about flying on planes that made me laugh out loud.
I fly on planes a lot. Ever since I moved to Chicago for college, I fly at least have a dozen times a year, sometimes more. Family is important to me and going back home to visit my family is truly a respite. For the past five years, flying has included children, and for the past year, it’s included two children (and one time a dog as well). What made me laugh about Bethany’s post was less about the content of her blog, which I found to be a wonderful way to view travel, but more because of how absurdly different her approach to flying is from my current reality of traveling with my family.
Unlike Bethany there is nothing satisfying about the ritual of traveling on a plane with my children. Our rituals are many, and challenging. No matter how hard we try, we always just barely manage to be packed and ready to go about 10 minutes after we plan to leave the house.
The game is no long making sure that we didn’t forget to pack something. Instead, it’s simply making sure what we forget to pack isn’t that a big deal. This most recent trip, I forgot flip-flops, which was not a big deal. As I told Diana, at least we didn’t “home-alone,” this trip and forget a kid.
Another ritual is the security line. Sometimes TSA people see us and stick us in a line with all of the other families. This is a great idea because families in this situations really do help each other out. At the most I’ve counted we’ve used seven different bins to get all of our stuff through the x-ray machine. I sometimes feel bad for the people behind me because I am often the reason they run out of bins, or I cause a delay because I simply need more bins.
I guess it is satisfying to get through security, grab a gate check tag for a stroller, maybe grab a pack of gum, and somehow manage to get on a plane with the kids. These aren't rituals that brings me satisfaction. More than anything it brings me relief.
I would love time on a plane to do work. That would be amazing, and on a recent flight I did manage to complete a grant proposal that was due at the time the plane landed. This was done with the stress of knowing that at some point Ethan would wake up from the nap he was taking on Diana’s lap and my time would be up. It could be a two hour nap and it could be fifteen minute nap...talk about working under pressure
Just for perspective, on an eight and half hour flight with my family, (that’s five hundred and ten minutes) I had 45 minutes to finish this grant proposal, and I got through 40 minutes of a magnificent Harry Belafonte documentary. That’s 85 out of 510 that I had to myself on a plane to chill.
Bethany isn’t wrong. There is great satisfaction in ritual. The difference with traveling with a family as opposed to traveling by yourself is that the satisfaction of ritual is in the long game. No the ritual of traveling on a plane is not fun, and it’s not satisfying. However I've never regretted taking my children on a trip to spend time with my family. No matter how bad a plane flight is, (and we’ve had some doozies), I'm always proud and satisfied about the experience of travel when I see how happy my parents are to see my children, and how excited Ollie is to see his cousins.
Y'know here are little rituals of flying with children which are fun, like um…okay I can’t think of any but I’m sure if I channel a little Bethany in my outlook, I can find some kind of rituals to look forward too when traveling with my children.
Bethany, keep enjoying your rituals and your work time on the plane. I hope that you keep writing, and thanks for sharing.
You have a fan in me.
Saturday, February 16, 2019
Year 9: Week 22 - Something New
It’s wonderful to repeat lessons and units. It gives you a chance to refine and practice the craft of teaching with a specific lesson or topic. It can feel like seeing a new friend after being apart. There is far less prep when doing a lesson that you have taught before and returning to lessons that you enjoy teaching provide moments in the year to look forward too.
Too much familiarity can be a bad thing. Teaching the same lessons year after year even with an eye for improvement can sometimes feel stale. Yes, it’s new students every year but with too much of the same in a school year it can lead to stagnation, lack of enthusiasm and complacency in teachers.
This is one of those “do what works for you situations.” There may be teachers who teach the same curriculum every year and are always excited about their work, but that is not me. What I’ve found is that in order to keep myself excited and engaged in the practice of teaching is that I need to do new things with my role at this school every year.
Part of this is my understanding of the role of education in our society. If we are educating our students to be active citizens, who work towards improving our society through seeking social justice than what we teach in schools must evolve. The current problems in our society require a much more purposeful education that addresses equity and justice than four years ago. Related is the need for curriculum to reflect and illuminate current events.
The other reason doing new stuff is invigorating is because the process of creating new curriculum is similar to how teachers should re-examine and innovate existing curriculum. With new curriculum you have to go through certain processes, that you don’t have to but you really should apply to existing curriculum.
So what am I doing new this year that had me excited?
Harry Belafonte
I was fortunate to hear Wes Moore speak a couple months ago. As part of this speech he spoke about the important role Harry Belafonte played in social justice. I always new about him as a musician and as I researched his life, I became to understand Moore’s respect and admiration for him as a social justice activist.
Musically his work weaves together different cultures, it is beautifully crafted and very teachable. I started looking for a song that I could teach my 3rd graders and I came across “Turn The World Around.”
This song reflects the core values of Belafonte and is a perfect song for 3rd graders and also high school students. As Belafonte himself has different facets of his life that all ages can learn about, I am collaborating with one of our high school choirs to perform “Turn The World Around,” with my 3rd graders.
Some Of That Jazz
I loved playing in jazz band when I was in high school, but I never learned how to really teach jazz band. My approach is generally to jazz is no different than my approach with other concert band music. Working with our adjunct brass teacher who is jazz musician and in fact knows how to teach jazz, we are doing something different this year. I letting her do her thing with my 6th grade band.
The wonder and beauty of jazz the way she teaches is that is can be taught to beginners. The students learned a bass notes of a 12-bar blues, the moved right along to “C Jam Blues,” and now they are working on “John Avery’s Blues.” Most of this learning is done by ear and then later reinforced with written notation. The pedagogy is reflective of how this music was conceived and is introducing students to not only a diversity of music of but also diversity of musical approaches.
This approach lends itself well to differentiation, and also self-differentiation. And most of all, it’s a way to reach the joy of playing music quickly while reinforcing foundations.
One of the most joyful and interesting parts of this is that I’m handing over a great deal of this teaching to someone else. The longer I teach, the more I don’t feel a need to be the one who is in front of students making meaningful experiences happen. My job is to facilitate and arrange for my students to have meaningful experiences with music, and for them to grow as musicians and people. If this means that I’m in front of them actively teaching, fine, but if it means that someone else comes in and teaches my students and I stand to the side, that’s just as well.
It’s not about me, it’s about the students experiences, and with my 6th grade a great deal of that joy had to do all that jazz.
Too much familiarity can be a bad thing. Teaching the same lessons year after year even with an eye for improvement can sometimes feel stale. Yes, it’s new students every year but with too much of the same in a school year it can lead to stagnation, lack of enthusiasm and complacency in teachers.
This is one of those “do what works for you situations.” There may be teachers who teach the same curriculum every year and are always excited about their work, but that is not me. What I’ve found is that in order to keep myself excited and engaged in the practice of teaching is that I need to do new things with my role at this school every year.
Part of this is my understanding of the role of education in our society. If we are educating our students to be active citizens, who work towards improving our society through seeking social justice than what we teach in schools must evolve. The current problems in our society require a much more purposeful education that addresses equity and justice than four years ago. Related is the need for curriculum to reflect and illuminate current events.
The other reason doing new stuff is invigorating is because the process of creating new curriculum is similar to how teachers should re-examine and innovate existing curriculum. With new curriculum you have to go through certain processes, that you don’t have to but you really should apply to existing curriculum.
So what am I doing new this year that had me excited?
Harry Belafonte
I was fortunate to hear Wes Moore speak a couple months ago. As part of this speech he spoke about the important role Harry Belafonte played in social justice. I always new about him as a musician and as I researched his life, I became to understand Moore’s respect and admiration for him as a social justice activist.
Musically his work weaves together different cultures, it is beautifully crafted and very teachable. I started looking for a song that I could teach my 3rd graders and I came across “Turn The World Around.”
This song reflects the core values of Belafonte and is a perfect song for 3rd graders and also high school students. As Belafonte himself has different facets of his life that all ages can learn about, I am collaborating with one of our high school choirs to perform “Turn The World Around,” with my 3rd graders.
Some Of That Jazz
I loved playing in jazz band when I was in high school, but I never learned how to really teach jazz band. My approach is generally to jazz is no different than my approach with other concert band music. Working with our adjunct brass teacher who is jazz musician and in fact knows how to teach jazz, we are doing something different this year. I letting her do her thing with my 6th grade band.
The wonder and beauty of jazz the way she teaches is that is can be taught to beginners. The students learned a bass notes of a 12-bar blues, the moved right along to “C Jam Blues,” and now they are working on “John Avery’s Blues.” Most of this learning is done by ear and then later reinforced with written notation. The pedagogy is reflective of how this music was conceived and is introducing students to not only a diversity of music of but also diversity of musical approaches.
This approach lends itself well to differentiation, and also self-differentiation. And most of all, it’s a way to reach the joy of playing music quickly while reinforcing foundations.
One of the most joyful and interesting parts of this is that I’m handing over a great deal of this teaching to someone else. The longer I teach, the more I don’t feel a need to be the one who is in front of students making meaningful experiences happen. My job is to facilitate and arrange for my students to have meaningful experiences with music, and for them to grow as musicians and people. If this means that I’m in front of them actively teaching, fine, but if it means that someone else comes in and teaches my students and I stand to the side, that’s just as well.
It’s not about me, it’s about the students experiences, and with my 6th grade a great deal of that joy had to do all that jazz.
Monday, February 11, 2019
Parenthood: Week 305 – The Waves
Love is not a constant stream. It’s not a force, or a feeling that is consistent. It comes, and it can go. Love like all things in nature it is never static. It grows or it decays. As hours turn into days, days to months and months to year, time can wash over love left not nurtured and leave it less than it was, less than it could, and less than it should.
In taking love, and our loved one for granted we miss out on moments, times and feelings that can rejuvenate and sustain. When it feels like we don’t have time to take pause for those we love, we need them the most to help us understand, as we wish to be understood.
With each different relationship, love balances and moves differently. With my parents, they have always and continue to move love and give love to me, even when I have not reciprocated it to them. The parents job to teach their children how to love and be loved never ends. It is taught from the first cuddle, to a reassuring phone call and the memory of a supportive look long after a parent have passed away.
Diana and I share something different. It’s in our reminders to each other with every “thank you,” and “I’m sorry,” that we are never to take each other for granted, and that the work to honor each other is mutual. Because time together sharing our life is more meaningful only if we are open and honest to be truly for each other and for ourselves. I’ve never believed that nurturing love with Diana is “work.” Does it take effort? Yes, but so does taking care of oneself. In a true partnership that is how taking care of another that you love, can and should feel.
There are days when I cherish the moments with my children and there are days when everything else in the world just seems to be too much and take up too much of my mind. And in the rush to take care of my children, I don’t always find time to connect with them. Sometimes this feels okay. I fed them dinner, got them bathed and dressed for bed, and got them to sleep. In that rush it feels all like a chore and there is an accomplishment in all of this, but without that extra moment, quieting the brain, and letting time to stop to feel the heartbeat within a hug, it all feels hollow.
There are times that remind us to slow down, to show love more. I felt this with urgency the two times Buffy was attacked. Each time before those attacks happened, an ebb away from my attention to Buffy, and after theses scares, and the reminder of the finiteness of our time together, I pushed myself and let the love flow.
I am sad thinking about how with Ollie and Ethan, life distracts me a sometimes creates a space between us. I can forgive myself knowing that I can’t do everything, but I can’t let myself be less for them, because every day I can do something for them to show them genuine care and affection.
Like with Buffy’s attacks, there was a moment that made me feel a need to give more to Ethan with a sense of purpose and determination. We found out this week that Ethan as we suspected is delayed in his speech development. This is not a big surprise with his hearing loss issues, but I still felt guilty. I thought that maybe if I had him wear his Baha hearing air more, or talked to him more this wouldn’t be an issue. I know logically that this isn’t the case, but my heart ached facing the reality of his situation, (which really isn’t that dire).
For the past week, I’ve spent more time talking to Ethan more and playing with him as well as Ollie. I do so much for them, sometimes it’s easy to forget that the most important things are the time we spend together.
I wish that by sheer force of will, I could make whatever Ethan and Ollie face go away. I know logically that they need to fight their own battles, but my heart doesn’t want them to. I still just want to protect them and be with them. The best way to do that is not by watching over them.
What gives them the strength and the power to be independent is the quality of the time we spend together. The more love they feel from me, the more love they will feel for themselves, and in turn learn to love themselves. In time, they will walk away from me confidently, and bring me along with them in their hearts, as I carry the love of my parents with me into the unknown and the uncertain.
Our expression of love can ebb and flow like the ocean, as it is sustained from streams of love from those around us.
In taking love, and our loved one for granted we miss out on moments, times and feelings that can rejuvenate and sustain. When it feels like we don’t have time to take pause for those we love, we need them the most to help us understand, as we wish to be understood.
With each different relationship, love balances and moves differently. With my parents, they have always and continue to move love and give love to me, even when I have not reciprocated it to them. The parents job to teach their children how to love and be loved never ends. It is taught from the first cuddle, to a reassuring phone call and the memory of a supportive look long after a parent have passed away.
Diana and I share something different. It’s in our reminders to each other with every “thank you,” and “I’m sorry,” that we are never to take each other for granted, and that the work to honor each other is mutual. Because time together sharing our life is more meaningful only if we are open and honest to be truly for each other and for ourselves. I’ve never believed that nurturing love with Diana is “work.” Does it take effort? Yes, but so does taking care of oneself. In a true partnership that is how taking care of another that you love, can and should feel.
There are days when I cherish the moments with my children and there are days when everything else in the world just seems to be too much and take up too much of my mind. And in the rush to take care of my children, I don’t always find time to connect with them. Sometimes this feels okay. I fed them dinner, got them bathed and dressed for bed, and got them to sleep. In that rush it feels all like a chore and there is an accomplishment in all of this, but without that extra moment, quieting the brain, and letting time to stop to feel the heartbeat within a hug, it all feels hollow.
There are times that remind us to slow down, to show love more. I felt this with urgency the two times Buffy was attacked. Each time before those attacks happened, an ebb away from my attention to Buffy, and after theses scares, and the reminder of the finiteness of our time together, I pushed myself and let the love flow.
I am sad thinking about how with Ollie and Ethan, life distracts me a sometimes creates a space between us. I can forgive myself knowing that I can’t do everything, but I can’t let myself be less for them, because every day I can do something for them to show them genuine care and affection.
Like with Buffy’s attacks, there was a moment that made me feel a need to give more to Ethan with a sense of purpose and determination. We found out this week that Ethan as we suspected is delayed in his speech development. This is not a big surprise with his hearing loss issues, but I still felt guilty. I thought that maybe if I had him wear his Baha hearing air more, or talked to him more this wouldn’t be an issue. I know logically that this isn’t the case, but my heart ached facing the reality of his situation, (which really isn’t that dire).
For the past week, I’ve spent more time talking to Ethan more and playing with him as well as Ollie. I do so much for them, sometimes it’s easy to forget that the most important things are the time we spend together.
I wish that by sheer force of will, I could make whatever Ethan and Ollie face go away. I know logically that they need to fight their own battles, but my heart doesn’t want them to. I still just want to protect them and be with them. The best way to do that is not by watching over them.
What gives them the strength and the power to be independent is the quality of the time we spend together. The more love they feel from me, the more love they will feel for themselves, and in turn learn to love themselves. In time, they will walk away from me confidently, and bring me along with them in their hearts, as I carry the love of my parents with me into the unknown and the uncertain.
Our expression of love can ebb and flow like the ocean, as it is sustained from streams of love from those around us.
Friday, February 8, 2019
Year 9: Week 21 - The Practice
We move through our days as teachers mindful of what we are required to do, thoughtful of the extra things that we could do, and mindful of how all of our actions lead us towards or away from where we envision ourselves in the future as educators. How our career evolves, and how we grow into and out of roles is dependent on so much more than our job description and expands into that work that is sometimes acknowledged, sometime not, and that is sometimes compensated for, and sometimes done voluntarily. It’s how we do our work and the things around our work that defines who we are as teachers, professionals and where stand as community members.
It’s a balance and a dance. One needs to makes sure that they are doing what they need for themselves. Doing more without going beyond what is expected without being overextended, and overly stressed out is a difficult balance. However, if there is not that extra piece, that effort that goes beyond what is on the contract, doors may not open, or even be available for you to approach.
In the energy that we put beyond, it is also important to not go so far that you become a doormat. When you are being taken advantage of because you never say “no” you may garner value, but not respect. So how do you do for your community and fulfill that need to be great without going too far?
Doing just enough never seemed to feel right because there was always more to do. One of the great things about being a teacher is that there is always work to be done, innovations to make. Teaching is truly a practice. It’s not a skill that can be achieved, it’s a skill that must be constantly honed and practiced in order to simply maintain a level of quality, let alone grow as an educator.
This approach extends into the school community. How a school operates can always be better. In partnering with others outside the classroom you find ways that you can have a voice that brings change that will benefit the school community. While this work may seem to take away from the work of the classroom, what I have found is that the more I do outside of the classroom for others, the easier it is to get support for the projects and innovations I seek to make inside the classroom.
There’s more I want to do at my school than I have time to do. While I may have gotten close in the past to overextending myself, I don’t think I’ve ever crossed that line. I think it may be because I have and have had mentors who have taught me how to say "no." And the things that I do extra beyond my teaching that I really enjoy and I find fulfilling. These are committees, positions, and projects that give me a broader view of my school, allow me to be part of important conversations and reenergize me for the work ahead.
This is my ninth year at school. The novelty of the what is “new” about this job has worn off. I feel that if I don’t explore and find new experiences at this school, the sometimes-repetitive nature of the work would wear me down. Sometimes you find ways in the classroom to keep things interesting as a teacher, and sometimes you have look beyond for that inspiration, the motivation and the energy to keep practicing at this thing we call teaching.
It’s a balance and a dance. One needs to makes sure that they are doing what they need for themselves. Doing more without going beyond what is expected without being overextended, and overly stressed out is a difficult balance. However, if there is not that extra piece, that effort that goes beyond what is on the contract, doors may not open, or even be available for you to approach.
In the energy that we put beyond, it is also important to not go so far that you become a doormat. When you are being taken advantage of because you never say “no” you may garner value, but not respect. So how do you do for your community and fulfill that need to be great without going too far?
Doing just enough never seemed to feel right because there was always more to do. One of the great things about being a teacher is that there is always work to be done, innovations to make. Teaching is truly a practice. It’s not a skill that can be achieved, it’s a skill that must be constantly honed and practiced in order to simply maintain a level of quality, let alone grow as an educator.
This approach extends into the school community. How a school operates can always be better. In partnering with others outside the classroom you find ways that you can have a voice that brings change that will benefit the school community. While this work may seem to take away from the work of the classroom, what I have found is that the more I do outside of the classroom for others, the easier it is to get support for the projects and innovations I seek to make inside the classroom.
There’s more I want to do at my school than I have time to do. While I may have gotten close in the past to overextending myself, I don’t think I’ve ever crossed that line. I think it may be because I have and have had mentors who have taught me how to say "no." And the things that I do extra beyond my teaching that I really enjoy and I find fulfilling. These are committees, positions, and projects that give me a broader view of my school, allow me to be part of important conversations and reenergize me for the work ahead.
This is my ninth year at school. The novelty of the what is “new” about this job has worn off. I feel that if I don’t explore and find new experiences at this school, the sometimes-repetitive nature of the work would wear me down. Sometimes you find ways in the classroom to keep things interesting as a teacher, and sometimes you have look beyond for that inspiration, the motivation and the energy to keep practicing at this thing we call teaching.
Monday, February 4, 2019
Parenthood: Week 304 – Parenting In The Winter
Parenting reaches a whole different level when it’s winter.
Yes, it’s challenging to get a baby out of the house. You have to make sure that the diaper bag is packed, that the baby has a relatively clean diaper, and make sure that the car has the right car seat in it.
Getting a five-year-old out of the house in some ways isn’t any easier. If you are lucky, then the kid actually wants to leave the house and it’s not so bad, but if he doesn’t, good luck. If a baby doesn’t want to leave the house, you just pick it up while it screams and cries and get him in the car. While this is possible with a five-year-old, it takes significantly more strength, and effort, and risk to your own health. As a parent you do what you can to avoid this situation by preparing them far ahead of time, telling them what they have to look forward to, treating them with “car candy,” or “car snacks.” Hopefully that works because if it doesn’t, then it can get ugly fast.
Now add into this preparation hat, gloves, snow-pants, boots, and winter jacket that you have to put on, and you have to put on your children. While you can take of articles of clothing after the car heats up, your children can’t. Oh, and not all coats are safe for children to wear in car seats. So, what do you do? Sometimes you run out and warm up the car, then wrap your kid in a blanket, carry the baby out, unwrap them, and then put then in the car. This works…sometimes. Another solution is to put the baby without a jacket in a car seat and wrap him in blanket. Then at some point when I’m at a red light after the car has warmed up, I reach back and pull the blanket off the baby to keep him from overheating.
Ollie can dress himself for the going outside in the snow, but it takes a while, and Ethan being a baby, needs help. Just like how baby socks don’t stay on, his baby snow boots, which are REALLY cute, don’t stay on either. Usually I get all of them dressed, then myself, and then head out to the car. Ethan I usually carry to the car, but Ollie. Oh Ollie. Have you ever seen a 5-year-old walk around in the snow? There is no sense of urgency nor a sense of direction. The magic of snow and winter makes them completely incapable of getting from the front door into the car at a reasonable speed.
Winter also means that sometimes even with being fully dressed, like last week, it is simply too cold to go outside. The days are shorter, and the world seems more tired. Little things you do for your children like get them children’s Tylenol from the drug store take far more energy and time in the snow.
It is all finite though. Winter as it comes, does eventually go. Nights may be cold and dark, but bedtime stories snuggled under covers are warms and feel safe. The cold saps my energy and spirit, but the giggles of my children, and the barks of Buffy playing in the snow energizes me.
I don’t love winter, but I got to say, I do love seeing my children enjoy the winter.
Yes, it’s challenging to get a baby out of the house. You have to make sure that the diaper bag is packed, that the baby has a relatively clean diaper, and make sure that the car has the right car seat in it.
Getting a five-year-old out of the house in some ways isn’t any easier. If you are lucky, then the kid actually wants to leave the house and it’s not so bad, but if he doesn’t, good luck. If a baby doesn’t want to leave the house, you just pick it up while it screams and cries and get him in the car. While this is possible with a five-year-old, it takes significantly more strength, and effort, and risk to your own health. As a parent you do what you can to avoid this situation by preparing them far ahead of time, telling them what they have to look forward to, treating them with “car candy,” or “car snacks.” Hopefully that works because if it doesn’t, then it can get ugly fast.
Now add into this preparation hat, gloves, snow-pants, boots, and winter jacket that you have to put on, and you have to put on your children. While you can take of articles of clothing after the car heats up, your children can’t. Oh, and not all coats are safe for children to wear in car seats. So, what do you do? Sometimes you run out and warm up the car, then wrap your kid in a blanket, carry the baby out, unwrap them, and then put then in the car. This works…sometimes. Another solution is to put the baby without a jacket in a car seat and wrap him in blanket. Then at some point when I’m at a red light after the car has warmed up, I reach back and pull the blanket off the baby to keep him from overheating.
Ollie can dress himself for the going outside in the snow, but it takes a while, and Ethan being a baby, needs help. Just like how baby socks don’t stay on, his baby snow boots, which are REALLY cute, don’t stay on either. Usually I get all of them dressed, then myself, and then head out to the car. Ethan I usually carry to the car, but Ollie. Oh Ollie. Have you ever seen a 5-year-old walk around in the snow? There is no sense of urgency nor a sense of direction. The magic of snow and winter makes them completely incapable of getting from the front door into the car at a reasonable speed.
Winter also means that sometimes even with being fully dressed, like last week, it is simply too cold to go outside. The days are shorter, and the world seems more tired. Little things you do for your children like get them children’s Tylenol from the drug store take far more energy and time in the snow.
It is all finite though. Winter as it comes, does eventually go. Nights may be cold and dark, but bedtime stories snuggled under covers are warms and feel safe. The cold saps my energy and spirit, but the giggles of my children, and the barks of Buffy playing in the snow energizes me.
I don’t love winter, but I got to say, I do love seeing my children enjoy the winter.
Friday, February 1, 2019
Year 9: Week 20 – Three-Day Week
The news started spreading near the end of last week. We were going to experience record temperature lows which may cause us to cancel school on Wednesday, and possibly Thursday. Let me be clear, this wasn’t a snow day, this was a cancellation due to temperature.
There are various concerns when it comes to the temperature being too low. Children walking to school and waiting at bus stops are not safe when the temperature is too low. The concern I heard the most of administrators is concern of what would happen if there was a fire. We instruct our students when there is a fire to leave the building without coats. Having sixty five-year-olds outside without coats is a rough proposition.
Monday came, and it snowed, a lot. The snow didn’t stop until mid-morning which meant that the streets were not cleared. It took Diana almost an hour to drop Ollie off at school, which is usually a 10 minute journey, and my 30 minute to 40 minutes morning ride took almost an hour and a half. Add on to the fact that I had to get up early to shovel our drive and clear off our cars (which didn’t even look like I did this work an hour later when Diana headed out).
The possibility of Wednesday being cancelled was hanging over our head the entire day. Then at the end of the day we got the news that we would not have school on Wednesday. In that message we found out that decisions about Thursday would happen on Tuesday.
Tuesday, the commute was much easier, even though it was colder. Teacher on Tuesday had the feeling of restlessness that kid bring with the coming of a weekend, except for the fact that it was Tuesday. Then we found out on Tuesday that Thursday was cancelled. An hour before that I got word that my son’s school was closed on Wednesday and Thursday, so I had a portion of time when I had no idea how we would handle Thursday.
Wednesday and Thursday, I was home, taking care of my boys as Diana worked from home. There were teachers and administrators working, and some were taking days off. I got to some emails at the end of each day but in general the emails were pretty slow.
My car didn’t start Friday morning. We couldn’t get it started, so I ended up getting to school much later than I expected. This meant that my first class, 8th grade music started without me having fully prepped the class. It wasn’t a disaster, but it could have gone better.
3rd graders were okay, but had clearly just had two days off, heading right into a weekend. So, I decided to not teach anything new. We did some review and fun activities. I can’t blame them if they aren’t in the mind-set to learn. After the morning I had just experienced, I had still wasn’t feeling “normal.”
This week was weird. It was really hard to stay focused and in the moment. Concerns over taking care of my own life and family creeped into my time at school more than usual. It was a hard week for many reasons, but it had some nice moment. It was wonderful to spend time with my children in the middle of the week and through it all, while teaching wasn't my best this week, we made it work.
There are various concerns when it comes to the temperature being too low. Children walking to school and waiting at bus stops are not safe when the temperature is too low. The concern I heard the most of administrators is concern of what would happen if there was a fire. We instruct our students when there is a fire to leave the building without coats. Having sixty five-year-olds outside without coats is a rough proposition.
Monday came, and it snowed, a lot. The snow didn’t stop until mid-morning which meant that the streets were not cleared. It took Diana almost an hour to drop Ollie off at school, which is usually a 10 minute journey, and my 30 minute to 40 minutes morning ride took almost an hour and a half. Add on to the fact that I had to get up early to shovel our drive and clear off our cars (which didn’t even look like I did this work an hour later when Diana headed out).
The possibility of Wednesday being cancelled was hanging over our head the entire day. Then at the end of the day we got the news that we would not have school on Wednesday. In that message we found out that decisions about Thursday would happen on Tuesday.
Tuesday, the commute was much easier, even though it was colder. Teacher on Tuesday had the feeling of restlessness that kid bring with the coming of a weekend, except for the fact that it was Tuesday. Then we found out on Tuesday that Thursday was cancelled. An hour before that I got word that my son’s school was closed on Wednesday and Thursday, so I had a portion of time when I had no idea how we would handle Thursday.
Wednesday and Thursday, I was home, taking care of my boys as Diana worked from home. There were teachers and administrators working, and some were taking days off. I got to some emails at the end of each day but in general the emails were pretty slow.
My car didn’t start Friday morning. We couldn’t get it started, so I ended up getting to school much later than I expected. This meant that my first class, 8th grade music started without me having fully prepped the class. It wasn’t a disaster, but it could have gone better.
3rd graders were okay, but had clearly just had two days off, heading right into a weekend. So, I decided to not teach anything new. We did some review and fun activities. I can’t blame them if they aren’t in the mind-set to learn. After the morning I had just experienced, I had still wasn’t feeling “normal.”
This week was weird. It was really hard to stay focused and in the moment. Concerns over taking care of my own life and family creeped into my time at school more than usual. It was a hard week for many reasons, but it had some nice moment. It was wonderful to spend time with my children in the middle of the week and through it all, while teaching wasn't my best this week, we made it work.
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