Year 8: Week 30 – The Last Mentor

The main reason I am still at this school, have grown into an active contributor to this educational community, and continue to evolve as a teacher is because of a group of teachers and administrators who got me threw my first couple years at this school.

In many ways, my school has many things set up that make it an optimal place for a teacher to be successful, but even with these things in place, nothing is guaranteed, and there are many challenges to face. It was theses people who took the time, and shared with me advice, insights, and at times simply did things for me that provided me support to give my best, to my students.

Over the years, these teachers and administrators who were central to getting me through the first couple years have left my schools. There were many retirements, and others moved to different school for personal and professional reasons. Every time a person left, it felt like, I couldn’t imagine being at school without them. To my surprise, as the following school year would start, I didn’t think about them at all. It wasn’t until the middle of the year when I really missed people who were no longer working with me.

As the number of these mentors and original support people dropped, I comforted myself with the knowledge that certain people were still around and that I could lean on them. And now I find myself facing the reality that the last person in that group of people who supported me in those first couple years is retiring this year.

This is the time when even though I know things will be okay, I feel like I don’t want to grow up. It’s silly, I know. It’s been more years than I want to admit to myself that I’ve been more of a mentor than a mentee, but part of me pines for days gone by, and feeling like I always had someone to lean on, someone I could be open about the fact that I don't know what is going on, and that I don't know how to handle a situation.

I know logically things are better for me now professionally than they were eight years ago. I’ve matured as a teacher, I’m involved in many projects, and I'm doing challenging work that brings me a great deal of satifaction. I know the score, I know the players and I get to be in the “room where it happens.”

But I miss those people who did so much for me, and I know I will miss this one last mentor more than I can describe right now.

I accept my role to mentor others, to be that support, that so many people gave to me as a way to show my gratitude to those who supported me. I did ask for these people to be so kind to me and provide me so much support. They didn’t owe this to me, and I can’t ever pay them back, so I need to make them proud by doing what they did for me to others who come into our school community.

Parenthood: Week 260 - Eulogy For Nana

Last weekend we said goodbye to Nana, my wife Diana's paternal Grandmother.  I had the honor to speak about her and share my thoughts on this incredible person.  Here is a link to her obituary.  Ollie stayed home with a babysitter for the memorial service but we took Ethan with us.  I was really nervous to go up and speak, but after Ethan's diaper leaked all over my dress shirt, as I held him, I got up the courage to talk.  Maybe this was Nana telling me not to take myself too seriously.  I know she would have thought it was hilarious that her youngest great-grandson left his mark on her memorial service in this way.  

This is a previous blog post I wrote about Nana, and this post that talks about Ollie's identity as an immigrant through Nana and my grandparents.  

Below is the eulogy I shared during the service.    

Hello, my name is Kingsley, I’m one of the five grandson’s-in-law, who chose to marry into this family, and in doing so got a wonderful partner in life, and also became a member of this wonderful family, which at it’s core, is forever Nana.

The first family event I attended was Megan and Brian’s wedding. It was a wonderful event, but it was overwhelming, and loud, as many of these family events can be. It was a lot to take in because every single family member at the event made an effort to say hi to me and get to know me. I clearly remember talking to Aunt Krysia during the reception, and thinking, “this lady is being so nice, and she’s really taking a lot of time to get to know me, but isn’t this her daughter’s wedding, doesn’t she have someone else to talk to besides her niece’s boyfriend?”

It became clear where Krysia got her warmth and kindness when I met Nana that evening, and she wanted nothing more to share time with me and in that moment, made me feel like the most fascinating and important person in the world.

To Nana, family wasn’t defined by a small exclusive group, family was something that was defined by how it grew, how it was inclusive. To Nana, a family’s spirit was based on how you could bring people in, how through sharing love, and experiences, a family could expanded to include other. It is this paradigm, in which Nana reached out to me without hesitation, welcoming me as part of the family well before she became my family by law.

This is extraordinary act. The differences between us culturally and racially are not as easy to overcome as we’d like to admit to ourselves. In one of the greatest expressions of her ability to transcend what causes so many of us to hesitate, she picked up Ollie on the second day of his life, and held a baby, which on the surface to many people may not have appeared to be of her own family, and looked upon him, with a love unconditional and complete.



My great-grandmother had many wise sayings and one of the things she said was, “no one has any obligation to be kind to you, so many someone is, don’t take for granted.” And I know at times I did take Nana for granted, and while this makes my heart heavy, I will do the best I can to appreciate the kindness in this room, in my life and work to be kind in a way not expected, not ordinary, and not asked for, as Nana showed all of us.

There are so many things I gained in my life when I married Diana. I didn’t realized on that day in front of so many of you when I vowed to be Diana’s husband, that one of the most important things that Diana would bring to my life is Nana.

I see her in my father-in-law Andy. He has the same look of peace and joy in his face that Nana did when holds my boys. I see her in Diana, talking late at night at our kitchen table, and she softly smiles, simply happy to chit-chat with me as Nana always loved to do. And I see Nana in Ethan’s and Ollie bright eyes, her kindness, and her incredible spirit.

I am proud to be a member of this family. I am proud to have known Nana. I am proud that she was my nana and that I was her grandson.

Year 8: Week 29 – Nailed It

In 6th and 8th grade band, I’ve chosen technically easier music than I have in years past. Some of it has to do with technical considerations, but more than that it’s about aligning the type of music learning that I talk about with the experience my students have. I often talk about how learning the notes and the rhythms are only a small part of learning a song, and I have found that I do not have adequate time in a concert prep to really focus on the things beyond the notes and rhythms. Some students don’t love the lack of individual technical challenge, but I’m hoping (and seeing in some instances), that ensemble work winning them over with this easier repertoire.

6th grade band evolves so quickly from learning how to open the case to some pretty complex musical ideas only in span of a couple months. Thinking about how to play the notes when less than a year ago, some student literally didn’t know what end to blow into the instrument (this isn’t a joke, it’s true) is mind-blowing when you take a step back. I introduced the idea of blending your sound by playing so that you can hear the person next to you, and the sound made me so happy.

I didn’t want to show too much excitement because I wanted to set a new standard. Thinking back at the squawks and squeaks from earlier in the year, a sound that only a band teacher would lean in to, and not run away from, was one of the highlights of my week. In that moment, I paused to let myself feel proud, which is a feeling I move through too fast, far too often.

It’s been a tiring week for all of the students and teachers alike. We have our wonderful middle school musical going on, lots of projects, meetings, hiring processes, and other school events going on. So I planned to not rehearse that much in 8th grade today. I figured we could warm-up, play part of a song, and fix one measure. We did that, it was kind of a struggle, but the kids were with me. I had to push them to get them to concentrate more, but we did eventually create a nice musical “moment,” an energetic crescendo.

Then I put up a picture of my wife’s Nana holding Ollie, the day after he was born and I talked to them about the concept of self-care. I explained how Nana passed away last week, and that this was a challenging week managing my life. I talked about self-care is important for all of us to think about at whatever age we are at, so that we can be present for the people we care about. I reflected on the kindness of Nana, and that kindness is an act that we should never take for granted.

Together, we experience a moment of self-care that had been getting me through the week, watching part of Nailed It, a silly Netflix baking show.  Even though the show is set up for you to laugh at people’s fails, it's not mean.  Instead kindness and warmth permeates the show.



We watched one challenge from the show, we all laughed together, and thought about kindness. My students went on to their day, and I went to prepare myself to leave school early to get to Nana’s funeral to say goodbye.

Parenthood: 259 – Real Love

I never bothered trying to make sure that Ethan and Ollie had equal experiences with me as a parent. I knew that it was impossible, and I figured the sooner I let go of this idea, the less guilty I would feel. It’s not that I’m ok with Ethan having less than Ollie, or feeling less loved, I just know that making sure they have the same things from me as a parent really isn’t something that can be done, and even if it could, is probably not the best thing for both of my boys.

I can’t be the same dad I was for Ethan as I was for Ollie when he was a baby, because I’m not the same man I was four years ago. While I lack the level of awe at every little thing a baby does that I used to have, I’m a lot more calm, and I’m taking the time to enjoy the moments in a way that I didn’t for Ollie. For example, every single night when I kiss Ethan good night, I spend a couple second smelling the wonderfulness that is baby smell. I noticed this with Ollie but I didn’t understand how special it was until that stage passed.

Ollie’s birth was quickly followed by summer break, which meant that I spent more time with him in the first months of his life then I have with Ethan. Also, the fact that there was no other kid around with Ollie also meant I was able to direct more attention to Ollie. When I think about it this way, I do feel bad that I haven’t been there for Ethan as much as I was for Ollie, but it’s the situation that we are in, and I’m doing the best that I can. I tell myself that it’s about quality of time, and not quantity of time. I hope it is. Right now, I don’t feel too guilty about this disparity, maybe it’s just because I don’t have the time or the energy to be guilty.

What Ethan lacks from me in time, he’s making up in other ways. I am beyond a different dad than I was four years ago, I’m a better dad. I’m calmer, and for the most part I know how to handle almost everything Ethan throws at me and up on me (though it’s mostly Diana that Ethan spits up on).

The most amazing thing that Ethan has in his life that Ollie didn’t, was a wonderful big brother. There are times when Ethan just watches Ollie play. He’s fascinated by Ollie.  I witness these wonderful moments when Ollie is talking to Ethan about his toys, or something else (I can’t always understand what Ollie is saying), and Ethan intently listens. Because of Ollie’s activities, Ethan goes on adventures that we didn’t take Ollie on when he was a baby.

Things will get more complicated with the boys as they get older, and develop a sense of what is “fair.” Right now, it’s not too bad since they are in such different developmental stages. Also, I think that Diana’s perspective as the oldest child, and mine as the youngest will help us be aware of issues related birth order.

Ethan and Ollie are different people, and they need different things from me as a dad. Love isn’t about treating people the same, it’s about being there and giving people what they need to feel love. Knowing how to show love is one of the most difficult and important things to learn how to do in life. I still got a lot of work to do, but what I do know is that love doesn’t need to look the same, or occupy the same amount of time to be real love.

Year 8 - Week 28: A Tipping Point

I’m used to people having an opinion about my profession. Now, I’ve never taken on a different professional identity other than a teacher, but it really seems that everyone has an opinion about teachers and education, in a different way than other professions. It makes sense, since everyone has vivid memories of teachers from their childhood, and parents put an incredible amount of trust in educators. People should have opinions about educators, but it would be nice if the conversation started with teachers' perspectives.

In a week when students walked out in protest, and the national conversation around schools safety continued, teachers kept at it, and engaged in the work, like we do every day, no matter what happens in our country.

In the same way that a group of men discussing issues related to women’s reproductive health is preposterous, not actively involving teachers in conversations related to education is absurd.

Are we at a tipping point in the way that we look at schools, students and teachers? We will not know until years from now but I can’t help but be hopeful. As young people find voice and validation around issues related to school safety, their power can extent to other issues related education. Teachers are not giving up fighting as unions for their own professional respect, but also what is best for our children. And an incompetent Secretary of Education, is inadvertently revealing the flaws in a system that is being damaged by profit-motivated choices that fail to help our children.

Teachers are a different breed motivated in a way that seems un-American by some, less by money but more by hope, the hope that we can make a positive difference in our students’ lives. Teachers' commonly spend our own personal money on our students, not because we have get some kind of massive tax break, but because we see a need, that simply is not being met in other ways. There’s no way to measure the most important things we teach, and believe it or not, mo  st teachers still do great innovative work without the motivation of monetary bonuses. Instead, many find comfort, including myself, in an union agreement that ensures that the money we make is agreed upon as a community of educators, and more often than not, does not come to mind.

As we continue to do our work, it must be acknowledged that teachers in America have experience a unique trauma. It comes from being talked about and talked to by those who have no idea what our jobs are actually like. It comes from messages of support and thanks that fail to be expressed in allocation of resources. It it is felt when teachers have to argue for the basic needs for students from administrators and city officials, which too often results in the indignity of teachers needing to dig through second hand materials or try to raise money like a charity.

And it’s felt sitting in a darkened classroom full of students, during a lock-down drill, hearing the door knob rattle, and trying to not imagine, the incomprehensible.

It makes me sad that as a community of teachers we failed to bring the changes that our students are demanding this week.  Sometimes I wish that my son didn’t have to struggle, but sometimes that is the best way for him to learn. So maybe in our failure, we’ve created a space for real leadership, real change to happen. Could this the greatest lesson that this next generation will learn?

Some things will never change. People will keep talking to me about my job, and teachers will continue to fight for our students like few others in society. What is changing, what is different is that now I don’t need to be alone in advocating for my students. The most important lesson I’ve learned this week is that we can should direct people to our students, and let them speak for educators in America and for themselves.

Parenthood: 258 - The Ethan Journal: 12/16/17

When Ethan was born, I noticed quickly the skin tags on his right cheek.  At the time they were only a minor concern, but as we found out, they were a sign of his hearing loss. Ethan's ear microtia is noticeable however it’s these skin tag, hanging off of his right cheek that are more noticeable.

The ear develops close the mouth in utero and develops traveling back across the head. In Ethan’s case, the ear left piece of cartilage behind during this process leaving behind these skin tags on Ethan’s cheek.

This week the skin tags were removed by a plastic surgeon. The skin tags are harmless and mostly a cosmetic issue. We were concerned that the more mobile he would get, that he would accidentally tug at them or have them come off in a more painful circumstance. So we opted to get them surgically removed.

It wasn’t a major procedure, it took less than twenty minutes. Some local anethetic was injected, a snip with surgical scissors got them off and two stitches were quickly done.  After two days, there’s barely a mark. That’s one of the wonders of babies, their skin often heals at amazing speeds.

The first sign, the first hint of Ethan’s condition is now gone. He will not remember having these skin tags, or having them removed. There’s a possibility that he may remember very little of his own struggles and ours.

At sixth months old, Ethan is going to be fitted with a bone conduction hearing aid. The best case scenario is that at age five after getting an MRI, he is determined to be a good candidate for a ear canal drilling, which would potentially correct his hearing loss, so that he would have “normal” hearing. The MRI could find that this procedure would not work for Ethan.  Also the surgery ear canal drilling (I know, it’s like the worst name possible for a surgery on a little kid) has its risks. So right now nothing is guaranteed.

Let’s say we have the best of all situations. This means that Ethan will have some memory of wearing a hearing aid, and maybe the procedure, but his new normal will be a life when he isn’t actively reminded that he had hearing loss.  But I’m never going to forget this about Ethan. We’ve had our challenges with understanding and working through this disability, and it’s only going to get worse. While hearing aids continue to advancing at an amazing pace, trying to keep a hearing aid on a baby, who will become a toddler, and then a pre-school age child is not going to be a piece of cake.

Ahead of us is issues with batteries to deal with, malfunctioning technology, battles with insurance, educating family, friends and schools about Ethan’s needs, and most of all helping Ethan understand that his condition is not a hindrance on his journey to get where he wants to go in life, it’s simply a detour.

Diana and I have both joined a Facebook support group of parents whose children have unilateral hearing loss like Ethan. It’s filled with wonderful pictures and hopeful stories. The challenges of insurance, the devices, and other people, I know I can handle, but it’s the part of helping Ethan grow to understand, accept and love this part of himself that I feel is most important and will the be most challenging. Getting an insurance company on board doesn’t take subtlety, it takes persistence. Helping Ethan get “it” about himself will take, heart, love, and support.

Diana and I are looking into being part of social gatherings of families with children like Ethan so we can get some support, and Ethan can be around kids who he can see have hearing aids just like he will. I’ve already picked out some headbands so that Ethan will not feel like he’s the only one in the family who wears one. Maybe, just maybe, he will be more excited to where his hearing aid (which will be supported by a head band), if he can be just like daddy. Oh, and we’ve already ordered him a wonderful Christmas present. It’s a little crocheted stuffed rabbit. The rabbit’s right ear is a little smaller just like Ethan’s and it has sewn in a little headband and hearing aid.

I’m still not sure how talking about his condition will come out. I’ve considered telling more people close to me to practice, and work through this, but right now, part of me still doesn’t feel ready. Family holiday gatherings will bring this challenge to the fore. At least I know that with many of these people, it won’t matter if I cry. Each time I talk about it, it will get easier to discuss. It’s worth leaning into this challenge, because it will help me work through it and process this for Ethan.  I know that everyone who has Ethan in their lives will be more better and more empathetic people through understanding, and learning about Ethan’s hearing loss.

In this way, Ethan right now, can change the lives of people that he touches. His family and our friends will listen a little bit more carefully when they hear stories about hearing loss, the will stop to read articles about the deaf community they would have previously passed over, they will slow down a little bit more when they see a road sign warning that there is a deaf child in a neighborhood, and they will pay a little bit more attention when they someone is using sing language. In this way, Ethan will help strengthen their muscle of empathy and compassion, and bring the hearing loss community into their own.

Year 8 – Week 27: She Persisted

Sunday night, like I do every night, I checked in on Ollie before I went to bed. He had gone to sleep a couple hours earlier and was laying there peacefully. I leaned in to complete the nightly ritual of telling him that I loved him, that I’m proud of him, and that he is my special little guy. After kissing him on the forehead, I added, “I’m going to make you proud of me tomorrow.”

The next day, Monday morning, my presentation of Chelsea Clinton’s book, She Persisted: 13 American Women Who Changed the World was presented to my school’s community during an assembly. This presentation was in recognition of International Women’s Day. I started thinking of this presentation last year after presenting President Obama’s book, Of Thee I Sing as an inter- disciplinary presentation.  I knew I wanted to do a similar project again. I was considering doing Obama’s book again but with different students and songs. However, I had the feeling that it needed to be different next year.

Then something happened on 2/7/17. Senator Elizabeth Warren refused to stop speaking against Senator Sessions nomination by the 45th to be District Attorney. Senator McConnell in response, while describing Senator Warren’s actions, uttered this important phrase, “nevertheless, she persisted.”


This phrase became rallying cry that immediately filled me with pride and respect for Senator Warren. Chelsea Clinton also heard these words and was inspired to write her children’s book, She Persisted: 13 American Women Who Changed the World, illustrated by Alexandra Boiger. As soon as I heard of this book, I knew this was going to be my follow up to Of Thee I Sing.

I followed the same format as the Of Thee I Sing presentation. I was going to have eight speakers representing different parts of the school, reflecting the diversity in our school. I felt it was important that our students see men and women of different races and disciplines celebrate women. This allows our kids to understand that men celebrate women and that math teachers value literature and reading too. I tied in different disciplines from around the school to bring this presentation to life.

The presentation was bookending by four senior girl singing “She Persisted” by Drew Fornarola.


Our 3rd-5th grade extracurricular choir honored Claudette Colvin with a rendition of “If You Miss Me From the back of the Bus” popularized by Pete Seeger.



The upper school Advanced Wind Ensemble performed “Also sprach Zarathustra, Op. 30,” a tone poem by Richard Strauss to reflect on Sally Ride’s space exploration. A group of 7th grade students created a video talking about the life and work of U.S. Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor. Our JK students were featured in a wonderful video describing how they would show support and stand with Ruby Bridges as she integrated her school, William Frantz Elementary School. In reflecting on Helen Keller’s accomplishment, one of the high school choirs performance of “Through the Dark” by Andrea Ramsey, which sets Helen Keller’s writings to music. Also, I featured a video of one of Florence Griffith Joyner's record breaking sprints. We were fortunate to feature Elise Paschen, who is an alumni and parent of our school to speak about her mother Maria Tallchief.

In the weeks leading up to the presentation, I wrote out the script and created a powerpoint presentation for the assembly and got all of the projects organized. I got together a fantastic group of adults in our community to speak, and found others who were willing to help run the presentation. There was a rush of work and emails last week to put together this presentation and them last Saturday night, I was done. There was nothing else for me to do.

For the presentation itself, I was an audience member, sometimes cueing speakers but mostly sitting back and watching what I had put together. There were times that I smiled, cried tears of inspiration and felt great joy looking back at the audience full of students and my colleagues’ coming together to celebrate these amazing women.

It’s hard being away from my kids, and I’ve tried to explain to Ollie what I do when I’m not with him.  Being able to do this kind of work makes it easier, because it means that I can tell him honestly, that I'm making the world a better place in a small but meaningful way for him and his brother. 

This project was extra.  No one asked me to do it, nobody expected me to put in the time, but I see the world.  I see the struggles of women in my life, in the world and I see men who don't get "it," and continue to support the sexist status quo.  I can't sit back and do nothing.  That's not an option.  There's too much at stake.  There were times late at night, trying to pull all of this together, when I though about how much easier to just cancel the presentation.  But word I typed, every email I wrote, I felt the spirit of these women, and I persisted.

I'm not sure what is the project for next year, but it will happen, it will celebrate diversity in our world, and it will inspire myself and my community, and make my son proud of me. 

Resist.

Persist.   

Parenthood: Week 257 – A Change In The Routine

The usual routine works pretty well. I go upstairs with Ollie and do his bedtime routine with him while Diana takes care of Ethan. Ollie and I wrestle a little bit, I help him with his bath, and brushing his teeth. Then we snuggle up in bed and read a book. When we are done reading together, Ollie goes downstairs to get Diana, while I hide underneath his covers. Diana and Ollie come upstairs with Ethan. Ollie jumps on the be and makes a joke about how lumpy the bed is, then I make the bed come alive, and wrap him up in covers.  Eventually Ollie extricates himself out of the covers. Ollie hugs me goodnight, gives Ethan a kiss goodnight and then I go downstairs with Ethan.

Diana and Ollie have some time together. They read together and often carry out of their wonderful bedtime traditions. Since Ollie was a baby, Diana would tell Ollie what he did today. Now that he is older he participates in this reflection. It’s like a verbal journal, that helps Ollie understand his world, and his life.

It’s a good routine. Ollie ends his day with giggles, hugs, smiles, and Ethan gets the attention he needs.

Now trying to do this routine when one of us is away is a challenge, which I experienced for the first time a couple days ago. Because of concerts and evening events, Diana has had a number of nights when she has had both boys all to herself, and I have had time when I’ve had both boys to myself, but not in evenings. Taking care of the boys during the evenings is trickier than taking care of them in the morning or the afternoon. Ethan is general is most fussy at night and during the day, I don’t feel as much pressure as I do during the evening to work through routines.

As expected, Ethan was fussy. Sometimes he would cry loudly and other times he would whimper softly in discontentment. It was getting late, so I we skipped Ollie’s bath and managed to get his teeth brushed while Ethan cried in the other room. Holding Ethan in my arms and trying to console him, I read Ollie a book. Ollie helped by holding the book open for me while rocked his brother. As I was reading, Ollie would cover his ears when Ethan got louder, but he tried to make it work.

After we finished the book, I said goodnight to Ollie. He leaned over and gave Ethan a kiss on his forehead, and said goodnight to his brother. I walked out as Ethan starting crying louder in my arms. Then I heard Ollie behind me asking softly, “can we talk about what I started today?” I answered over Ethan’s cries, “I’m really sorry honey, but Ethan is upset, and I need to calm him down, so I’m going to take him downstairs and we can talk tomorrow.” “It’s okay daddy, I understand,” Ollie replied as he lay himself down and pulled up his covers. 

After eventually getting Ethan to sleep, I went up and checked on Ollie and say him peacefully sleeping.

Ollie reminded me that night how wonderful he is, but part of me wished I didn’t have to put him in that position.  Ollie doesn't ask for a lot, and when he asks for something as simple as my time, and I can't give it to him, it makes my heart ache.  Yes, I know that Ollie has to learn how to share me with Ethan, but that doesn't mean that this learning process isn't difficult.

The next morning before Ethan got up, Ollie and made waffles together and spent some time in the morning playing Transformers together.  Did it make up for the night before?  I don't know, but we had some good times. 

That's something. 

Year 8 – Week 26: Enough

I was so excited for class. I made a new seating chart for my 8th grade band, and we had great sectionals earlier in the week. I arranged a new warm-up routine and I had this cool activity where the kids were going to compare the Beatles and The Rolling Stones.

Amy walked up to me as class was starting, with her normal cheerful expression, and with genuine enthusiasm, I said that it was good to see her. Without trepidation in her voice, in a very matter fact way she asked, “Mr. Tang, did you heard about the school shooting this morning.” Shocked, and not sure how to react, I told her that I had not, and she replied, “well, it’s not that bad, only two people were killed.” Before I had a chance to respond, she sat down, got out her clarinet and started warming up.

I did a quick google search to confirm what she said and yes there was a shooting today at Central Michigan University, two people did die, and the news even as it was breaking, was buried between other headlines.

I looked at Amy carefully, as she chatted with the person next to her. I couldn’t discern any signs of distress or fear, so I decided to move on. I took a slow cleansing breath, which helped me center on the moment, walked onto the podium, and we got to work.

The week of the tragedy in Florida, I was finishing my paternity leave (in my school I can take this leave non-consecutively. Then our school had mid-winter break. So this week was the first time I was back with my students.

I don’t take my job for granted, and I don’t take my students for granted, but this was a week that I made sure to remind myself, and my students how special our time was together and how much I valued and appreciated all of my students. This was a really busy week, and there was a lot of stuff going on, but I forced myself to pause and enjoy these amazing kids.

There was two 5th graders who showed amazing growth on their recorder projects, that made me fill up with such pride. I made sure to tell them how I proud I was of their work, and it was great to see one of them surprised and smiling at my reaction. My 8th grade band just filling up the room with a wonderful tone, was followed by me telling them, “I really enjoyed listening to that sound, can we do that again? Hearing that made me feel good.” It was like all of my students seemed to have a glow around them, their spirits and their energy radiated out of them.

Maybe it was the sunlight breaking through the winter clouds, or maybe it was just the fact that I had been away from so long, but something felt different this week.

It makes me so sad how normal school shootings are for Amy.  I can't change her world as much as I wish I could.  But I can show her that I see her, hear her, and know her.  I want to do more, but I"m not what else I can do.  So I'll return next week, take it all in, and show my students a place where who they are, is enough.  Someone I will help them see the spirit inside of them that inspires me, and maybe that might make a difference.