Friday, August 21, 2015

Walls (Circus) - Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers

We walk through guarded. We learn as we grow up that we need to be cautious, that sometimes we can’t fully be ourselves with the people in our world. We put walls to protect ourselves.

Every time we have an emotional connection with someone, a brick of that wall evaporates. Sometimes it’s because we take a chance to share something about ourselves and other times it’s because we take the effort to look further beyond the wall.

I’ve been listening to Tom Petty’s “Walls (Circus)" non-stop since my wife and I had to say goodbye to a dear friend who was moving way. “Walls (Circus)” has always been my favorite Tom Petty song. It’s from 1996, the age when movie soundtracks ruled the charts and while I didn’t even see the Jennifer Anniston film She’s the One that this song is from, I’ve never forgotten this song.

There are times when a song so perfectly matches how you feel that even though you don’t fully understand what you are feeling.  And by listening to the song that somehow fits, everything just makes more sense.

The lyrics don't perfectly describe this person and our relationship. However, there are lines that resonate.  Our friend does has have a huge heart, and the lines about things being over and things moving on really do seem to speak to this difficult transitions in all our lives.

This song is about the dichotomies in life and how difficult it is to make it through. It’s about how we have these barricades and walls not only between people we meet but also with difficulties we face in life. It’s an important reminded that as distant as we may feel from the people around us and as difficult as life can be, walls do fall down.

This song is about more than hope. It’s about believing that with the love we share, joy in life is inevitable.

Distance has been a part of relationships in my life for as long as I can remember.  I had family in Taiwan, I moved away from college and after college people moved away from me.  It doesn't get easier.  You can choose to keep your distance from people for fear that they will move away or that a friendship will end.  It's so easy to game out how something will not work and it's so hard to look past these doubts.  It's a choice, and the hard choice is what life is all about.  Every time you take down a wall with someone else, it makes it that much easier to do it again and embrace the people in your life.

There is a wall between who you see yourself as and who you really are and only with the love of people who really see you, can you bring down that wall and love yourself.    

The distance between our friend will cause challenges, but it is a wall that will fall down.  Once upon a time, all I knew of this person was her name, and less than two years later, I'm having trouble imagining her not being around.  As past walls fell down, I know this new one will fall as well.

Some days are diamonds and some days are rocks.  But these days while lived apart, are more meaningful and beautiful, because we know there is someone out there thinking of us as we hold them in our hearts.

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