Year 3: Week 10 – Working Through The Crazy

Okay, I’ll be honest, this week was a little crazy.

My 5th graders had a presentation this last Thursday and my 3rd graders are preparing for their Thanksgiving assembly next week. Both of these grades have to prepare for a Holiday program in December. Also, today, the Middle School orchestra, which I conduct, performed at an assembly.  And then I have my middle school band kids who I still need to attend to.

I didn’t schedule all of this stuff to come together in these couple weeks. What happens is that the different grades and musical groups schedule these performances reflecting their own needs. They don’t really think about the fact that I may have multiple performances in one week. Honestly, they shouldn’t.  It’s my job to manage all of this.

Sometimes the way the difference grades’ schedules line up make my life at school a little crazy, but it’s also what I’m trained to do. I don’t remember the first time I performed in front of an audience because I was so young. It’s something I’ve done my entire life and it’s part of my job to be involved in kids' performances and have the ability to balance all of these things out.

Yes, I have to somehow get groups of fifty kids to perform on stage, but I don’t have to grade essays. I don’t have math test to write. I’m not outside early in the morning coaching a sports team. I don’t have to prepare food to feed the entire school. I’m not responsible for helping kids get into college and I don't have to nurse 1st graders who fall down at recess.

It’s easy to forget when things get tough that other people in the school have just as challenging jobs as you do. Just because a teacher never has to put on an assembly doesn’t mean that he or she isn’t working as hard as a drama teacher.

Let’s say for a minute that this is not true and that there are some teachers who have harder jobs than others. Does focusing on this fact really get you anywhere in the day?  This kind of thinking just leads to bitterness and pull your focus away from your students.

One of the things that keeps a positive school climate is maintaining a community of teachers that truly respects and admires each other.  One of the joys of being in a K-12 school like mine is that every teacher can look at what another teacher is doing and reflect, “there is no way that I could EVER do what they are doing.” That’s a really good feeling because while it makes us feel proud of our work, it also humbles us at the same time.

My next couple weeks are going to be a little insane, but it’s all good. Its what I signed up for. Yes, I may have the challenge of putting together musical programs but the feeling of watching these performances makes it totally worth it.

Letters From 5th Graders

During the 5th grade camping trip, I am responsible for the wake-up call.  I sing a song and accompany myself on the guitar.  On the last night, some of the boys wrote anonymous letters of request for the following morning's wake-up call (all of them are written by boys).  Here they are: 

8th Grade Playlist: #4. Lonely Boy by The Black Keys

Music is a conversation. One artist says something through a song and then a different artist responds with his or her own song. Sometimes the response brings in a fresh idea and other times the response is a restatement, an elaboration on the first idea.

When I state that “Lonely Boy” is the one of the greatest modern Rolling Stones' songs, it’s meant as a complement. The blues inspired rock of the Rolling Stones with their profound lyrics are a statement that has been screamed down the decades of pop music and that continue to engender responses. The Black Keys did an amazing job doing just that, elaborating on what the Rolling Stones said while bring a fresh perspective.



It starts with a riff, a short musical idea that is repeated. This three-note pattern gives way to another riff, with contrasting musical colors and an upbeat groove. Each layers that is added has a grit, a dirtiness, reminiscent of “Rocks Off.” Alone these elements would be a musical train wreck, but the fact that they are tied together with a tight an infectious grooves makes something that should feel so wrong, feel so right.

Like the lyrics of “Under My Thumb,” there is a deeper story that is being told in this song. While the musical landscape of this song is aggressive and full of bravado, the lyrics reveal a sense of sorrow and insecurity.

The opening line is about a guy being “above” a girl. Despite the fact that he is so much better than her, he falls in love her anyways. She hurts him, but he says that “I don’t mind bleeding.”  If she was really that much below him than he wouldn’t be “bleeding,” and he definitely wouldn’t be waiting.

The second verse continues this insecurity as he insults her saying he should have left her like her dad did. This is a horribly mean thing to say but like the statement “Under My Thumb,” it is an overcompensating response. He has been hurt so badly by this girl that the only way he can try to save face is to go to extremes. This is not an abusive man but a scared, torn down soul.

There's heartbreak and a resignation by stating “I’m A Lonely Boy.” While he tries to embrace his reality but he is clearly in conflict. Even though there is a chorus of voices and a glorious rock sound, this is a break-up song. It’s a song about feeling tortured, and responding to these feeling through anger and bitterness while at the same time not being able to let go of love. This tension mirrors the messy riffs being held together tightly by the groove.

Why does this song make us feel so good? Because love, even when it drives people to dark places makes us feel alive.

Year 3: Week 9 – Letting Go of Being Let Go

People and their jobs separate for many different reasons. Sometimes it’s mutual, but other times it’s not. When I lost my first teaching job, which I discussed as one of the most important moments in the past 10 years of my life, I was dumped. My “contract was not renewed.”  I knew that the job wasn’t a good fit for me, but I didn’t have it in me to quit, so the school did what I didn’t have the courage to do and they let me go.

It’s still difficult to reflect on that whole situation. Diana and I were living in an area that we weren’t excited about and we both had challenging situations at our jobs. Coming fresh out of college you’re just excited about having any job, so this idea of what kind of job is a “good fit” is elusive, because the fear of not having a job looms large.

I was hired for that job after a two-hour interview, without a teaching demonstration. Before I started in the fall, I thought I would receive more preparation and instruction on what was expected out of me. But before I knew it, I was conducting two high school bands that had almost seventy students each. With limited prep time, little high school teaching experience, I struggled.

It seemed like everything I tried didn’t work and whenever I had an idea to try something different or do something innovative, my input didn’t seem valued. It felt like I was just barely able to keep my head above water as the school year progressed on like white water rapids, refusing to let me pause to take a breath.

I was assigned tasks that did not reflect to my strengths and I failed multiple times to come through when things were asked of me. I’m not sure why. Maybe it was because I didn’t have enough experience but regardless, many situations at that school made me feel less confident as an educator and made me question my abilities as a teacher.

Now, it’s a different story. I feel comfortable and confident in my current school. I have great evaluations, my ideas and input are appreciated and I really love what I do. As I’ve prepared to go on the 5th grade camping trip for the third time, I was asked to take on more responsibilities. While I know I can handle this, I think of the failures of my first job and I worry.

I wish I could say that I’m over what happened in my first job and that I’ve come to terms with everything that happened. Like with any breakup, getting over these things takes time.

I love the teacher that I am, and if I had to go through all I did in that first job to get to where I am now, maybe it was worth it. But maybe I could have gotten to where I am without all of that pain. I’ll never know. 

The positive years I've had as a teacher now outweigh the negative years.  With every day that passes, the failures of the past feel more like they truly are part of my past.  It's not like I don't make mistakes any more, but now I don't fear failure, because I've been there.  I failed, I messed up so badly that I lost my job.  But y'know what?  I got through that.  I survived that.  So I know that no matter what happens I can get through it.

8th Grade Playlist: #3. West Coast by Coconut Records

When you think of great sing along songs, you think about songs of joy and hope. These are upbeat songs like “Sweet Caroline,” and “More Than A Feeling.” So when I heard Jason Schwartzman (yes, the actor) of Coconut Records urge us to sing-along to “West Coast” I wasn’t quite sure it made sense.



This is a song about a man missing someone in his life. We’re not sure whether it’s a girlfriend, friend or family member. The circumstances of the distance between them isn’t made clear. It could be a break-up or someone making a career move.  It’s not clear who is to blame for the situation.

Does this sound like the kind of a song that works as a sing along? I wasn’t quite sure until I saw this video of Coconut Records performing live:



“West Coast” is a beautiful and intriguing song. It reminds me of “Wake Up” by Arcade Fire. Coconut Records has an indie rock flair mixed with a sense of story telling. “West Coast” is a song that takes us on a journey and brings us to a place we don't quite expect.

The song begins simple enough with a keyboard line, and then immediately draws us in with hints of a larger story told through fragments of thoughts. The verse is in 7/4, with the beat organized in a group of three and then a group of four. This metric pattern creates a subtle feeling of being unsettled as the melody doesn’t quite play out like you expect. The meter doesn’t bring attention to itself, rather it enforces the emotions of loss and longing in the lyrics.

After the second chorus, Jason calls to everybody to sing a soaring line that is sung over the verse music. There is a feeling of unity and freedom, almost a sense of flying as the words of the verse enter layering underneath. This section continues to build and then suddenly pulls back with the words “I miss you."

Music is about feeling comforted by knowing that there are other people in the world who share our emotions. When we sing along with a song we connect our own emotions with that song in an immediate and very real way. Sometimes those emotions are happy but other times they are not. “West Coast,” is a sad song but it reminds us that the feeling of missing someone is bittersweet. The only reason you miss someone is because of how great that person makes you feel and that is exactly what that soaring melody line is all about.

If you feel like singing along, than just sing along. It’s not about whether the song is happy or sad, it’s about the connection you feel with the artist.  In that moment you are sharing an emotional world that transcends time and space that only music can create.

Election 2012: The Land Of Hopes And Dreams

When George W. Bush was reelected as President in 2004 some of my friends who were Democrats were quite upset. By that time President Bush’s leadership he demonstrated after 9/11 had faded in people’s minds and many liberals expressed significant issues with his leadership. It wasn’t just my friends were angry with Bush being re-elected. A lot of people were spreading doomsday scenarios resulting from four more years of President Bush.

But we survived and none of my friends who said they would, actually moved to Canada.

Now the tables are turned. The same liberal negativity towards President Bush is coming from extreme conservative voices towards President Obama. The doomsdays scenarios and the criticisms are just as crazy as the far left liberal complaints about President Bush.

Is there a lot at stake in this election? Yes, but it reaches far beyond just the president. While the Electoral College renders some people’s voices moot, local elections and referendums count on every single vote, every single voice. So please do your research and vote.

I vote because even with Politics, I’m an optimist. Are their corrupt self-serving politicians out there? Of course. There’s corrupt self-serving people in every part of our society, from schools to churches, from books clubs to waiters. But we still go to these places. We don’t’ just give up on institutions because they have problems.

We are the American government. It’s not some alien entity, the government is a reflection of who we are, with all of our great traits and some features we’d rather not think about sometimes. It is the collective expression of all our greed and selfishness, but it is also an expression of our greatest hopes and dreams.

A couple months after President Obama was elected someone I knew who was conservative asked me how that “hope and dream stuff” was working out for me.

After four years it’s still working out great. I still believe in President Obama.

I don’t believe Mr. Romney is a horrible person or that he’d lead our country into an apocalyptic zombie wasteland of capitalism run wild. In many ways he would be a very similar president to President Obama. To accomplish his goals he would have to move towards the center with many of his views like President Obama had to. Any major changes he would try to make would take time to implement.

Am I worried about the economy? Yes, am I sure either Mr. Romney or President Obama have significantly better plans to fix it? Not really. It’s not like the President can literally make jobs. I don’t think President Clinton doesn't deserve the credit for the surplus, and President Bush doesn't the blame for the recession. The consequences of economic policies are passed down to latter presidents. It’s difficult to place blame or credit for something as immensely complex as the economy on one person. I trust that there are smarter people then me trying to figure this stuff out on both sides of the aisle.  Regardless of who will be elected, our economy will continue to improve, not because of one man but because of our collective will.  

The main reason I voted for President Obama is that I believe he along with the Democratic party is on the right side of history when it comes to LGBT rights and women’s rights.

Democrat Stephen A. Douglas was on the wrong side of history when it came the issue of slavery when he lost to President Lincoln.  Southern Democrats as well as some Republicans were wrong fighting against the passage of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 and the Voting Rights Act.

While slavery and Civil Rights were extremely contentious issues of their time, no reasonable person in our society now would argue that our country did not move into the proper direction of protecting more people’s rights.

We are now at a similar impasse. The Supreme Court is deciding which case to hear this year about the issue of Gay Marriage. Women’s rights have once again come to the fore as a political issue. At this critical time, more than ever, we need a President who can lead on these issues, fighting to expand rights to all citizens.

Can President Obama make these changes all by himself? No, but his voice, on these issues brings comfort to those who feel disenfranchised and reminds us of the compassion within us that we sometimes forget. This is the part of us that puts aside stereotypes, and insecurities and acknowledges the basic human rights that we all deserve. Right now, every single voice that fights against hate and bigotry is literally saving lives.

I am 100% confident that future Republican candidates and Republican platforms will have very different things to say about LGBT Rights and Women’s Rights. It will take some time and there will be people like the ones whose insecurities resulted in the need for National Guard Members to escort students to school in Little Rock. But we will get through this, and America will continue to expand rights to all of its citizens.

So vote. Vote with the best inside of you. Don’t vote for a “lesser evil.” Put aside the gaffs, the jokes, and the headlines.  Think about who represents the best inside of you, the best inside of all of us. Believe in our system as we believe in ourselves. Place hope in politicians through your vote. If you don’t believe in anything or anybody, you will never be disappointed, but then again you will never know what its like to feel the glory of a dream fulfilled.

Year 3: Week 8 - The Buffers

They are called “buffers.”

These are the students, most of whom are girls, that teachers sit between the most disruptive students, most of whom are boys. A lot of the science of making an effective seating chart for a classroom is the careful placement of buffers.

You probably know someone who was used as a “buffer” by a teacher. I married one. Growing up, Diana was an attentive and cooperative student and because of this, she was sat next to the more disruptive students in her class. Logically, Diana’s teacher should have rewarded her good behavior by letting her sit next to one of her friends. Instead she was used like so many students as a “buffer.”

Seating charts have positive motivations too. Sometimes you sit students next to other students who they work well with but more often than not, seating charts are created to discourage inappropriate behavior.

“Buffers” may help the class and the more disruptive students but it’s not really fair to students who are putting in the best work. It’s a necessary evil, that I don’t really like, which is one reason I felt compelled earlier this week to have a talk with my “buffers.”

This class was a little rough. I’m not sure why. It could have been my lesson plan, or the specter of Halloween. Either way, it was a class where enough of the students were disruptive enough that I had to give a couple stern warnings and some harsh lectures.

Usually when students are being disruptive in class I hold them back after the other students have left and have a private conversation with them about their behavior. I was mentally preparing myself for this when I looked into the eyes of one of my students, one of my “buffers,” looking tired and a little sad.

Instead of holding back the half of the class that was causing issues, I asked the teacher to take those students and leave me to talk with the students in the class who consistently did amazing work and demosntrated great behavior in class.

I told them that I was sorry that the class had to get so harsh and that I wanted to make sure that they knew that the lectures I gave were not about them. I told them that I understood that it was frustrating to be in a class and have a teacher get mad at a class when they had done nothing wrong. I told them that it was important to me that they understood these things and that this angry song they heard wasn’t about them.

One of the reasons I did this was because I was so frustrated with some of the students in the class that I wasn’t able to talk to them in a reasonable way (a teacher should never talk to a student when he or she is truly angry). Also, I just felt bad for the other students.

Of course you have to put out the biggest fire in the room and yes that is the disruptive students, but you can’t take the quiet, attentive ones for granted. They need to know that they are appreciated, that you care about them and that they matter. These students are more than “buffers” that allow the class to keep going, they are what is working in your class.  For every time you need to redirect a students behavior, you need to complement and build up the students who are doing great things.

If you do this enough, you may just find that you don't need kids to be buffers any more.