My Life Would Suck Without You by Kelly Clarkson

“My Life Would Suck Without You” music video
"My Life Would Suck Without You” live performance
"My Life Would Suck Without You” acoustic live performance

The first entry I posted on this blog was four months ago and it seemed only fitting to celebrate my 60th post to go back to where it started, revisiting our favorite American Idol.

The following is a recent phone call I had with my brother Ed:

Me: dude, I’m so hyped for Kelly Clarkson’s new album that’s coming out tomorrow!
Ed: It’s going to be awesome.
Me: Yeah I wasn’t expecting the phrase “My Life Would Suck Without You” to work as a hook
Ed: I didn’t even know that was the name of the song until they said the name of the song on the radio.
Me: I’m totally going to buy this album at the store and not on itunes because I want to hold this thing in my hands.
Ed: I know what you mean, but Laura [Ed’s wife] isn’t too excited about the album
Me: Yeah, neither is Diana [my wife]

Laura and Diana understand that when my brother and I get fascinated with a piece of music they get to enjoy it along with us because my we will without fail play the album/song ad nauseam (well in my opinion ad AWESOME-EAM). For some reason they just aren’t as excited about the return of Kelly Clarkson to her pop music roots as my brother and I are.

What is so exciting is that Kelly is making a returning to what she does best. The album that she released Breakaway, which featured “Since U Been Gone,” was My December. Rolling Stone critic Jody Rosen described this album as a “declaration of independence, released over the reported objections of her label.” Rosen goes on to describe the album, “Its 13 gloomy songs, all co-composed by Clarkson, had scarcely a hook to wrap your ears around.” Clarkson’s new album Breakaway. However feature a couple strong songs with infectious hooks, which recapture the feeling of screaming along with “Since U Been Gone,” and one of those songs is “My Life Would Suck Without You.”

I know, “My Life Would Suck Without You” sounds like an awful title for a song, but it works. Once upon a time using the word “suck” was almost as bad as using a swear word. I remember my mom getting annoyed that my brother and I would use the term “suck” when we were in high school. Now, it’s not proper English but “suck” is used enough in our culture that I can honestly imagine saying “my life would suck without you” but more importantly I can believe it when Kelly singing these words.

With my background in music composition and my knowledge as a music teacher I’m often asked what comes first the melody or the lyrics. The answer is that it depends on the song. Sometimes it’s the words, sometimes it’s the music and other times they are composed simultaneously. “My Life Would Suck With You” started with the music as is explained by the one of the composers, Luke Gottwald in this video clip .

Just because the lyrics were written after the music doesn’t mean the song is any less legit. Paul McCartney wrote the melody for “Yesterday” using the nonsense phrases like “scrambled eggs” before writing the lyrics we know now.

Compared to the lyrics of “Since U Been Gone,” “My Life Would Suck Without You” is much more straightforward. The feelings involved in a break-up are a complex mix of regret, blame, denial and eventually acceptance. While the feeling of being with someone you love is singular, joyful and life-affirming. In some ways happiness is defined by the absence of complexity, a feeling that is free of emotional weight and the simple lyrics of “My Life Would Suck Without You” reflect this feeling.

The general idea of the lyrics is that there was a fight, he came back, she acknowledges that they are both at fault and that even though they are both a little dysfunctional, there lives are forever entwined. This reunion is not about apologies but acceptance. By coming back, making the effort to patch things up, the “you” character accepts the fact that Kelly was trying to pick a fight. Kelly acknowledges the things he said not with anger but with an understanding that they are both equally messed up.

Right after Kelly sings about them both having issues in the second verse, Kelly sings “anyways, I found out I’m nothing without you.” Finding a true friend is not about liking someone despite their faults but because of them. The way that Kelly acknowledges both of their “issues” and goes on to state how they should be together is a honest and heart-warming expression of love.

The musical landscape of this song with the bare guitar introduction, distorted synthesized background beats and almost dance club feeling of the chorus create a fresh and joyous sound. The song paces itself giving a break in the third verse “being with you is so dysfunctional,” letting the music naturally build back up to the chorus. This moment is tender as Kelly quietly sings “I really shouldn’t miss you, but I can’t let go.” She doesn’t know why they are drawn together as she sings in the chorus “forever united here somehow." This is something that she doesn’t understand logically and only feels. In this way, without using the word “love” she describes it perfectly as acceptance, understanding, and joy that feels like an impulse that cannot be denied.

When Kelly Clarkson performed “My Life Would Suck Without You,” on Good Morning America she talked about how much photo manipulation was involved in her cover photo. Moments like these are why I like Kelly Clarkson more than I ever have before. She is one of the most honest and real pop stars out there. Some people have criticized her for being fat, I view her as looking like one of my friend (not that my friends are fat, just that they don’t have ridiculous movie-star, super-model builds). Any criticism of the kind of music that she makes is ridiculous as she has never made any pretension to be anything but a pop star. I feel like if I met some celebrities, I would freak out and now know what to say to them. However, if I met Kelly Clarkson, I would have no problem chilling with her and talking.

Kelly, my life would not suck without you, but it is just a little bit more awesome because of the music you share with the world. I went to two stores to find your new CD, running not walking into the store to find it (part of the running part was that it was 20 degrees Fahrenheit outside and I didn’t feel like putting on my jacket). Running back to my car, ripping the package open sliding the CD into player and hearing your sing “My Life Would Suck Without You," the sun simply shone, just a little bit brighter.