Monday, October 17, 2011

Buffy’s Presence

There are times when I lay in bed coming out of a dream half asleep but not quite awake and I hear Buffy sigh. I open my eyes and in the darkness of the night I find her curled up on the floor against my side of the bed and I reach down and pet her before falling back into a deeper sleep.

Every morning when I get out of bed I can feel Buffy’s eyes on me as I move around the room.  I gently pet her and whisper good morning as she lays in her dog bed or underneath the covers at the foot of our bed where she often ends up after moving around the room throughout the night.

When I’m home during the day on a weekend I always know that Buffy is there. It’s the soft pitter-patter of her nails on the hardwood floor, the high-pitched squeal when she yawns and her energy that ensures me that by simply saying her name she will rise from her resting spot into the office settle down in one of her dog beds that is right next to my desk.

Every since we got Buffy, I’ve rarely been alone at home. A dog’s presence is similar to a human’s, but in some ways it’s very different. Buffy has simple wants. She likes to go on walks, play with her dog friends but more than anything she wants to be with Diana and I. Buffy’s view on life, the way she is pleased and satisfied by simple joys has taught me to appreciate the comfort, power and joy of simply being together.

When I'm at my desk and I look over at Buffy sleeping on the couch in the other room and I can’t help but smile. What I bring to Buffy’s life with my presence comes back to me in the same way and I’m reminded how beautiful simply sharing a space with someone else can be.

In the first year of marriage I had a similar feeling sharing my life with Diana. There was a completeness that I felt knowing Diana was near. While Diana still brings a sense of a center and a comfort by sharing space with me, we simply don’t feel quite whole unless Buffy is near as well.

There are times when I’m walking on the sidewalk and I expect to see Buffy at my side but she’s not there and I feel strange without the weight of her leash on my wrist.

There are times when I working at my desk and I call to Buffy and she doesn’t come and I remember that she is away from the house with Diana and for a second I feel sad wishing my puppy was near.

 There are also times when Diana and I are cooking in the kitchen and I feel that Buffy is watching us.  I turn and see her lying on the floor and her silent and beautiful sparkling eyes confirm the feeling of her presence, a feeling of warmth, love and peace.

No comments:

Post a Comment