Monday, November 18, 2013

Parenthood: Week 25 - The Reunion

The reality is that the most meaningful part of going to Lorado Taft was not figuring out how to deal with a bunch a 5th grade boys (which I wrote about in this previous post). It was the experience of being away from Ollie for such a long period of time that will made the trip so unique. I’ve done the long days at work where I leave before Ollie gets up and come home right as he’s going to bed, but I’ve never been away from him for a night.

So I knew that being away for three nights was going to be tough.

While Diana was going to be home without me, I felt good knowing that my mom, who was flying in from Seattle was going to spend the week to help out with Ollie. At the same time, knowing that my mom was going to be visiting only made me want to be at home even more.

A couple people at work asked me if this trip was going to be the first time that I was going to be away from Ollie so long. And while their sympathetic looks were comforting, they didn’t have really any advice on how to deal with being away from Ollie.

How was it? Well, I think it helped that the trip with my 5th graders was a very busy one. There’s not a lot of down time and I spend almost 22 hours of every day with kids. The fact that I was never off helped keep my mind off of Ollie and Diana. At the same time, my brain keep traveling home wanting to see my little boy and imagining what it would be like to hold him.

I never knew what it was like to miss my mom until I went away to college. When I started having feelings for Diana, I missed her as well when I would go home for break, but this feeling was unique. It was like somehow my heart expanded allowing more people to be close to me but in different ways. And as silly as it sounds, the same thing happened when Buffy entered into my life. My heart got a little bit bigger to let that fluff ball into my heart and the feeling I get when she runs up to me is also unique.

It’s easier to be away from my mom, Diana and Buffy than it used to be. But the amazing thing is that when I do see them after being away, that rush of emotion, relief and love is the same that I felt after missing them years earlier.

When I got home Diana rushed up and gave me a big hug and it was like seeing her after being apart during winter break in college all over again. It felt like my day could finally start. My mom gave me a hug and I felt the comfort that can only come from being close to someone who has known and loved you your entire life and Buffy, with her ears flattened back on her head waited for me to bend down to give her a hug.

Then Diana brought me Ollie, who had just woken up from a nap. As I hugged him I pretend to eat his ears and neck making silly growling sounds causing him to laugh and squeal in joy. Feeling tears in my eyes, I looked at my smiling baby and everything felt perfect.

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