Parenthood makes you give up on the idea of a perfect day, and teaches you to understand and appreciate perfect moments.
Every single day since Ollie was born seven years ago, there have been hard moments and challenges. Every single day brings unexpected events, and every day requires me to push through a little bit more. Like a muscle that you exercise, you get used to this way of living, but that doesn’t make it any easier. Because the wonderful thing, and the really hard thing about parenthood is that the challenges are constantly changing. As soon as you figure out how to give your child a bottle, they are learning to eat with utensils. Mastery in parenthood is fleeting because with every passing day, you child grows older, and needs you to grow as well.
What adds up to a “perfect moment” has things that are very much imperfect. Last weekend we went to the beach. It was wonderful to play in the sand with my sons, connect with nature, and allow the sense of time and rush of schedules to leave my mind.
To make this moment happened took an incredible amount effort to pack and prepare to get out of the house to get TO the beach. There was breakfast to be prepared and served, beach toys to pack, the diaper bag to check and the beach bag. We had to makes sure to have stuff like sunscreen, the right stroller. Of course, the boys need help with swimsuits. This stuff doesn’t seem that hard to do, but we had three kids who were requiring our attention at the same time as we were packing. Yes, they are great children, but they need to be asked more than once to put on their shoes and get dressed.
At the beach, at some point Ollie threw sand which was an small issue. I may the tragic mis-pack of not having two of each snack types. So, Ethan was sad at one point because I cheese puff for Ollie and not him, even though I had plenty of alternatives. There were points when Lucas was fussy. He didn’t like it when he would take a handful of sand and stick it in his mouth, but he also didn’t like it when I would try to prevent this from happening.
My goodness, getting sandy children home with all of our sandy stuff into our van and back into our house without leaving a trail of sand and piles of sand in the car and in our house is exhausting. When we got home, we had to shower the kids, feed them lunch, unpack the car, shake sand out of everything, and do laundry. I don’t remember specifically but there probably was a meltdown at some point in this process.
The time at the beach was one of my favorite moments, I’ll say even a perfect moment of this summer, but it took a lot out of us to make it happen.
As a parent you have to work, prepare and stress in order to relax and have fun with your children. And sometimes, all the hard work, doesn’t play out into a perfect moment. Every single outing with children has issues when they are young, and often these issues don’t ruin the day, but sometimes they do. It’s exhausting. In my life with a baby, two-year-old, and seven-year-old, a perfect outing simply does not exist. That’s okay.
It’s worth it to try, because my children are worth the effort. Even when things don’t pan out, I do feel proud at the end of the day that I did try, and that I was there with them and for them.
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