I don’t remember what time of year it was, but I remember wearing shorts and a t-shirt and the warmth of the sun on my face. I was six or seven years old, and I was in a park with some classmates. I noticed that someone’s parent had come by and brought cupcakes. Children gathered around and started getting cupcakes.
I wanted one. So I walked up to the crowd of the children, but I stayed on the periphery of the group. I didn’t have the strength to push past my shyness. I’m not sure what I was afraid of. I just knew that this unnamed anxiety was building inside of me. I knew that I would likely have to talk to ask for a cupcake, and growing up with a significant speech impediment had taught me that there was a good chance asking for a cupcake would lead me to another embarrassing situation where someone didn’t understand what I said.
So I stood there unmoving. Mnutes passed, and the parent did not see me; eventually, they walked away with the cupcakes, and I didn’t get one.
As much as I have experienced and as much as I have grown, I will always be that little boy, too shy and too afraid to ask for a cupcake.
This is a school that has taken my hand when I was too afraid to step forward and speak up and shown me that I could be more than I saw in myself.
I had never taught 3rd grade before I came here, and a kind veteran teacher showed me how to teach this grade and, more importantly, what there was to love about these students. She stays after bringing her students to class to help me with classroom management and comes by early when picking them up to check on things.
My music department chair saw me repeatedly fail during my first year but never wavered in her support for me. She came in to help during her prep time and stood up for me in meetings when I didn’t have the confidence to speak up for myself. She saw my potential as a department chair, a leadership position I never expected that I could ever do, and with kindness and patience, guided me into this position.
Administrators and other faculty continuously took chances on me, put me in situations, and gave me tasks that I had never done before, believing beyond my experiences that I could be successful. Among the things I did for the first time at this school include:
- Start a band program.
- Lead campfire sing-along
- Give a speech at a dedication for a piano that was given to remember a child who died.
- Organize an all-school assembly
- Lead an all-school sing-along
- Organize guest musicians
- Sit on a hiring committee
- Lead a faculty meeting
- Work with a donor to create a visiting artist program.
- Maintain a budget
- Teach the recorder
- Sit on various committees
- Be a department chair
- Evaluate teachers
- Teach middle school students
- Redesign an office space
- Hire teachers
- Help create schedules
- Manage a department of teachers
I did all of these things because believed that I could. Because of this, I took chances on myself and for my school. While there have been bumps in the road, I've had far more success than familiar.
Now that I'm a more established teacher, I spend a lot of my energy elevating others, giving them a chance to be more than they see in themselves. I feel so proud to have helped students, staff, and faculty grow as others did for me. It is a place where people believe in me, and where I can empower others by believing in them.
I want to hold that little boy's hand, see the anxiety in his eyes, and tell him it's okay. I want to show him that he doesn't have to brave alone and that it's okay if the words don't come out clearly the first time. And that someone is there with kindness and patience to show them they have the power to get a cupcake. I'll never be able to do these things for my younger self, but I can do this for people at my school.
And that's why I love my school.
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