I was away on the 5th-grade outdoor education trip from Wednesday until Friday last week. Then on Monday, I stayed with one of my sons, who had a cold. And on Tuesday, I was out because of a medical procedure. I was hoping to be back at school on Wednesday, but Tuesday night, it was clear I hadn’t fully recovered, so I made the call to take a sick day on Wednesday. It was clear on Wednesday that I had made the right call...
This meant I was at school for two days this week, Thursday and Friday.
Of course, the work of school went on without me. I saw emails come into my inbox. At times I deliberately ignored them, and at other times I was able to take care of some of this business. And, of course, things were fine without me. Some things had to be put on hold, and some meetings had to be rescheduled, but things were fine. I got behind on some work I wanted to do, and my students, while they got some work done with the substitute teachers, were less productive than they would have been if I had been there. But they were fine.
One of the lessons of the pandemic was that we needed to take time off to take care of ourselves and our families. Unfortunately, there were far too many times before the pandemic when I was sick and went to school to teach when I shouldn’t have. What makes me even sadder is that there were times when I didn’t take time off when I should have been home with my children when they were sick.
As teachers, we are insecure, and one of the ways that many of us handle this insecurity is by proving we are tough by teaching in a way that is physically taxing, whether by teaching when we are sick or working long hours at school and home. But unfortunately, there are teaching situations where this isn’t a choice, but a feature of having a teaching job, which is absurd, exploitative, and ridiculous.
It’s strange. Even though I know in my heart that it’s the right thing to do to stay home to take care of one of my children if they are sick and that it will not negatively affect my job, it feels like I’m making a sacrifice to stay home. But what am I trading away? The joy of teaching, having fewer emails to answer, and feeling more accomplished at my job? This feeling makes the job feel all about me. This probably is a good thing because it reflects that this job is fulfilling for me and isn’t just a paycheck, but it also feels out of whack with the fact that me and my family and my priority in my life.
I’m glad that I had time away from school. I did some important things taking care of my family and myself. I didn’t give anything up to make this happen. I made a choice, and I have no regrets.
I think we are better teachers when we are more balanced humans and clearly define our priorities, but it's complicated. So we try and do the best we can. It's not always easy, and it's often complicated, but it's a struggle worth having and a tension worth leaning into.
No comments:
Post a Comment