Evovling With Obama's Views On Gay Marriage

After an evolving viewpoint, President Obama stated today that he believed that same-sex marriage should be legal. While some people are critical of the President’s use of the word “evolving,” it is an honest reflection of how many people come to understand this issue including myself.

My evolution in my support of gay-marriage started in high school. As I entered my teenage years I noticed like most people that some people seemed to not be as clearly display stereotypical gender roles. In high school I was one of those people. I enjoyed music, played violin and didn’t play sports. So other guys would call me “gay.” My response was to spit back gay jokes.

I am not proud of this fact but it happened. As harsh as the words were, I actually didn’t have a problem with people who were homosexual. However, no one I knew was openly gay, but plenty of celebrities were so I thought I understood this issue.

In college I finally had peers and friends who were openly gay. One of my best friends who I wrote about in this early blog post identified as a lesbian in college. I had fraternity brothers who were gay, as well as professors and classmates who were homosexual. I got to experience through them what it meant for them to have their sexuality be an issue in American culture and the struggles they went through.

This drew me closer to the side of fighting for gay rights but I didn’t fully appreciate other facets of this issue. I just knew I wanted my friends who were gay to have the same rights I did.

Years later I met a co-worked who is now a close friends who has a gay son. She didn’t hide this and was open to talking to me about this experience. For her it was very simple. He was her son, she loved him and she didn’t see why he deserved anything different in life than her other children.

Then I realized this wasn’t just about my friends, this was about my future children.

Most of my understanding about this issue came from connections with people in my life. It wasn’t until the arguments against Prop 8 came out that I comprehended this issue on a logical and legal basis. Check out this post about this case and really read the arguments. They will change the way you look at this issue.

My most recent step in my evolution in understanding the issue of gay marriage was teaching the children of gay parents. I have had the honor of teaching numerous children of gay parents but two of my students really stick out when I think about this issue.

These two siblings are the adopted children of a gay couple that has been together for seventeen years. They are wonderful children and if you spent only a small amount of time with them you would feel the love that can only come from a family of strong values and amazing parenting.

I feel so blessed to have had all these experiences, which have helped me evolve to support same-sex marriage and the rights of all people regardless of their sexuality. The majority of people who are against gay-marriage are not bad people. They are just evolving.

Share with them your own journey and bring them along with you. The issue of same-sex marriage is about a lot of things but at its center is love. And the best way for us to change people’s minds is through showing them that love.

American Triangle by Elton John

"American Triangle" by Elton John

The following is a version of a letter I recently sent to Rep. Foxx of North Carolina.

Rep. Virginia Foxx,

In a recent issue of Rolling Stone magazine, your name appeared on their “Threat Assessment” scale. The magazine said that you called “hate killing of Matthew Shepard a ‘hoax.’” As Rolling Stone is a liberal tilted magazine (they had President Obama on the cover three times in two months before the election), I’ve learned to take their political commentary with a grain of salt.

In the political world, what people say is often misinterpreted and taken out of context, so I’ve learned to not get to up in arms when I hear that a politician misspoke. Even if a politician says something wrong, it’s ok, we’re all human. I don’t expect my politicians to never make mistakes, but I do expect them to take responsibility for what they say.

I found the quote that Rolling Stone magazine was referring to. It’s a statement you made April 29th in discussion of a hate crime legislation.

“ . . . hate crimes bill called the ‘Matthew Shepard Bill,’ is named after a very unfortunate incident that happened where a young man was killed, but we know that that young man was killed in the commitment of a robbery it wasn’t because he was ‘gay.’ The bill was named for him, the hate crimes bill was named for him, but it’s really a hoax”

After hearing this, I still wanted to give you the benefit of the doubt. This clearly was a mistake, you probably misspoke, you feel awful, and I’m sure that you made an immediate effort to retract and apologize for your statement.

Well, that day you did make a statement:

“It has come to my attention that some people have been led to believe that I think the terrible crimes that led to Matthew Shepard’s death in 1998 were a hoax,” she said. “The term “hoax” was a poor choice of words used in the discussion of the hate crimes bill. Mr. Shepard’s death was nothing less than a tragedy and those responsible for his death certainly deserved the punishment they received.

The larger context of my remarks is important. I was referring to a 2004 ABC 20/20 report on Mr. Shepard’s death. The 20/20 report questioned the motivation of those responsible for Mr. Shepard’s death. Referencing this media account may have been a mistake, but if so it was a mistake based on what I believed were reliable accounts.”

A couple days later, you made another statement in a news interview:

“In the heat of trying to handle the rule on the floor, anybody can use a bad choice of words. Saying that the event was a hoax was a poor choice of words,” Foxx said. “I’ve apologized for that. I never meant in any way to harm the family or offend the family or anybody else for that matter.”

I teach elementary school and one thing I tell my students is that it’s not the mistakes that we make that define our character, it’s what we do when we make mistakes that defines who we are. Your “apology” for the statement you made about Matthew Shepard shows very little of your character and is more disappointing then your original statement.

Yes, the term “hoax” was a poor choice of words and maybe referencing a 20/20 news report was a mistake. I do believe that you never meant to harm or offend anybody. I don’t believe that was your intention but I agree with Matthew Shepard’s mother who was there when you made your statement that your “apology” doesn’t change anything.

“Hoax” was not a poor choice of words; it was the wrong choice of words. A poor choice of words is calling is calling someone who is “mentally retarded” an “idiot.” The basic meaning measuring mental capacity of both words is the same however the cultural context and use of the words is vastly different. Calling something that factually happened a “hoax” is calling “banana” a “race car.” They are two completely different things. Saying that you made a “poor choice of words,” tells us that your intent, to discredit his tragedy hasn’t changed, you just wish you didn’t use the word “hoax.”

You cite a 2004, 20/20 news report that questioned the motivation for Matthew Shepard’s death as a source. Here’s the story that you were referring to. The article interviews Matthew’s killers on their motivation. One of them makes a statement that he was only trying to get rob Matthew. The article also calls into questions why the two killers so brutally beat Matthew and hung him out on a fencepost to die if all they wanted was money.

Are you seriously going to believe the words of a convicted killer as facts? Even when the killer’s explanation for his actions is as poor as the one given in this report? This is the kind of thing I expect out of my 5th graders when they are doing research not my public servants.

It’s not 20/20’s fault that you misinterpret a news report correctly. You may not have known the facts of this case but you should have known better.

Maybe, the reason you made the original statement or don’t seem more apologetic now is because you don’t know what Shepard’s death means to people. I’m sure by now the facts have been made clear to you but there is another piece which is just as important.

I heard about the Matthew Shepard tragedy when it happened but what made it mean something to me was the song “American Triangle” by Elton John. He wrote “American Triangle” in memory of Shepard and it was featured in the television move The Matthew Shepard Story.

Elton John has spent much of his career examining the American experience, like “Mona Lisa’s and Mad Hatters,” one of my favorite songs of all time. Elton doesn’t explicitly tell the story of Shepard’s tragedy but focuses on the emotions around this tragedy. We feel the promise in the beginning of the first verse “young boy just starting out,” and the spit and anger at the end of this verse, “God hates f--- where we come from.”

Elton is right, “Western skies” don't make it right, and “Home of the brave” doesn’t make any sense. Even if the killers were motivated only by a simple robbery, the death of Matthew still would be a tragedy. What this song understands is that it’s a tragedy for the killers as much as it is for Matthew: “Three lives drift on different winds, two lives ruined, one life spent.”

At his older age, Elton Johns tenor has deepened into a dark and expressive voice colored by a life surrounded by the peaks and valleys of life. In his voice you understand that what Matthew Shepard represents is bigger than legislation, it’s about who we are as a people, not just the homosexual community, but all of us.

I can accept that people believe that homosexuality is a choice and a sin. We as country must respect people’s opinion, but we should never accept hate in the hearts of our citizens directed at anyone. Hate crime laws are not about special treatment for certain groups of people, it’s about saying as country that we will not accept hate and prejudice in our society.

Rep. Foxx, I hope that you will reconsider what you said. I hope that you will make steps to be more cautious in the future and I hope that you understand why your words have offended so many of us.

Thank you for choosing to serve your constituents and our country. I do not doubt your intentions and I believe that you acted and will continue to act in the best interests of our country. I am disappointed by this incident only because I believe so strongly in the great things that you and our government do every day to make America a better place.

Sincerely,
Kingsley Tang

I Want to Hold Your Hand by T.V. Carpio (from Across The Universe

"I Want To Hold Your Hand" film clip (from Across The Universe)
"I Want to Hold Your Hand" Beatles recording

One of the worst films I’ve ever seen is Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band. This disaster of a film starred the Bee Gees, Peter Frampton and a host of other music and film stars including Steve Martin, Aerosmith and George Burns. The filmmakers attempted to link together Beatles' songs to create a musical and the results were both musically and dramatically disastrous (well except maybe for the Earth, Wind & Fire and Aerosmith performances).

I’m not trying to be sarcastic or funny, this film is just painful.

So when I heard that there was a film being made that was going to link Beatles songs into a musical, I was dreading the result. Even though the director was Julie Taymor one of my favorite artist who directing The Lion King on Broadway and Titus, one of my favorite Shakespeare films I was still nervous about the venture.

The Beatles catalogue is amazing. They recorded music that represents every single genre of music of the 1960s and beyond including Motown, Rock, Folk, and Punk. Many songs the Beatles recorded told great stories from the lonely life of "Eleanor Rigby" to the silly romp of "Maxwell’s Silver Hammer." However there are no linear stories across songs even in the concept album Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, which is one reason that the previous attempt to make the Beatles’ songs a musical failed so completely.

Then I saw the trailer for Across The Universe and I was floored. I saw the film a couple months and it didn’t disappoint. The visuals are original, sometimes shocking but always sublime. The music sounded fresh and the film as a whole worked.

For most of the songs Julie Taymor brought out what musically characteristic about the songs. Taymor with “Let It Be” brought out it’s spiritual overtones and set it as a gospel song. This approach was effective because it brought out the meaning of the songs and put them in a musical context that came within the song itself. However one song was shockingly different.

Roger Ebert in his review of Across the Universe observed: “When Prudence sings "I Want To Hold Your Hand," for example, I realized how wrong I was to ever think that was a happy song. It's not happy if it's a hand you are never, never, never going to hold. The love that dare not express its name turns in sadness to song.”

“I Want to Hold Your Hand” introduced America to the Beatles. It was the Beatles first number one hit in America and started what is known as the British Invasion, a period of time when British rock groups dominated the American pop charts. ”

The songs mix of emotions from the exuberant opening to the reflective bridge combined with innovative chord changes revolutionized and defined the pop song for generations to come. The songs message of wanting to hold a girl’s hand because of the happiness it brings is both innocent and genuine. The energy of the instruments and the infectious melody add to the song resulting in one of the most loved songs in popular music.

In Across The Universe, the character of Prudence played by T.V. Carpio sings “I Want to Hold Your Hand” as a love to song to a fellow female cheerleader. This lesbian fantasy (“the love that dare not express its name") because of the slower tempo and mournful performance by Carpio comes across as a longing that will never be fulfilled.

The slower tempo brings attention to the lyrics. In the original Beatles version, they go by so quickly in the verse that many people who have listened to this song for years still don’t know them. It becomes clear in Carpio’s performance that she first thinks that the other girl will understand but then proceeds to plead “oh please, you’ll let me hold your hand.”

When the Beatles sing “I can’t hide,” we think of a teenager who is so in love with someone that they can’t help but tell everyone about their excitement. When Carpio sings this line she is expressing how much she yearns for this connection. The sad truth is that because of the time and place she has to hide what she feels she cannot.

At the end of both songs, the feeling of joy and bliss from the idea of holding someone’s hands shines through. The context of this feeling coming from a teenage simplicity with the Beatles and a tortured yearning of Carpio’s performance are both part of the magic of “I Want to Hold Your Hand.”

It’s pretty amazing that without changing the lyrics, melody or chords Julie Taymor could bring a new light to “I Want to Hold Your Hand.” It’s as much a credit to her artistry as well as the song itself that this was possible.

What the Beatles understood about popular music is that it needs to be specific emotionally but open enough to apply to different people’s lives. That is the beauty of “I Want to Hold Your Hand.” We all know how magical it is to hold someone’s hand and want this feeling in our own individual and equally valid way: from my excitement when my wife comes home to work to a teenage girl dreaming of a day when she no longer has to hide the love she feels in her heart.

Only In America by Brooks & Dunn

Only In America by Brooks & Dunn

I love being a teacher. Every day I work with students through their struggles and sometimes get to witness their triumphs. Contrary to their belief, I’m trying to make their lives better and more fulfilling in the long run by teaching them not only academic skills but life lessons. It’s a lot to do in the seven and a half hours the students are with us but we do the best we can.

Even though I love my job, I don’t love everything about my job. Often 7:15am is a little bit too early to start work, recess duty isn’t exactly a thrill and as entertaining as the students are, and sometimes the logic of a elementary students can simply be baffling.

example:
Me: Why do you take the crust off of you peanut-butter and jelly sandwich?
5th grader: because it taste like poo.
Me: Well, how you do you know what---
5th grader: [interrupting] and I would know because I’ve tasted poo.
Me: wait, what?!?
5th grader: don’t worry, it was my brother’s poo [reassuringly]

The kid was totally serious. SIGH

These things can be annoying but what really gets to me on an emotional level is when kids through not fault of their own are put difficult situations that me as a teacher can do nothing about. It can be something as small parent promising a student that he will come to a school play and not show up all the way the unthinkable tragedy of child abuse.

Last week, I got a dump truck full of this stuff and while it was all small things and all my kids are ok, it all added up. Last Thursday, my day started hearing about one student’s problems and as I went to gym with the kids I was not in a great mood. I felt I was already emotionally drained by P.E. and it was only 9:30 in the morning.

Thursday was the first day of the dance unit. I watched as the kids learned some basic line dances and worked on them during the period. I sat their unengaged and not really all that into what the students were doing.

As the day went on, things kept piling on, it was just one thing after another and by the time I hit my lunch break at noon, I felt like I didn’t have much left for the rest of the day. During my lunch period, I often visit the fourth grade class I worked with in the beginning of the year (I have since moved to a mixed grade level class). I decided to go say hi to them during my break and I found them at P.E. learning line dances.

I don’t know if it was the students, or the enthusiastic P.E. teachers but I decided to join in and learn to line dance.

Here’s the thing, I have an irrational dislike of line-dancing. Whenever the electric slide gets pumping I will almost always take that as a cue to get a drink of have a seat during a party. Without evidence I often make the line-dancing jokes about it being a way of dancing for people who have no hope of dancing otherwise.

So it took some doing to get out there and line dance.

Here I am, in a elementary school gym surround by fourth graders learning the “American Stomp.” Of course, I’m over-thinking the steps and how they fit within beats as opposed to just feeling it. So after I got my brain to shut up, I got in the groove of it and I became aware of the group of fourth grade girls around me earnestly trying to figure out how to do this dance.

It was possible one of the cutest things I’ve ever since seeing these girls, eyebrows furrowed, not really only on the beat but trying as hard they could. I got the girls attention and started talking about the moves “right stomp, left stomp, right stomp, left stomp, right 2-3-4, left 2-3 turn.”

As we worked through the dance, their furrowed brows relaxed and the I could see from the look on their faces that their brains were relaxing and slowly smiles developed on their faces and at least for a small part of the song we were all dancing in unison.

In four and a half minutes, I went from being disengaged, emotionally drained and feeling like a wreck to feeling energized, overjoyed and truly happy. And all it took was a little line dancing.

The song that we danced to was Brooks & Dunn’s “Only In America.” The song was released in 2004 and speaks about all the great possibilities of America. There are lines about “dreaming in red, white and blue” which really don’t make a whole lot of sense but nonetheless captures a sense of patriotism.

The song itself seems to be designed for line dancing, the accent of the beats are clear and phrase lengths consistently match 16-beat dance pattern. Without dancing to this song I would have thought this song predictable and not very creative but that would be missing the essential connection between the song and the dance.

Dancing brings us closer to music and line dancing does it in a way that makes the experiences a shared one. On a dance floor when everyone is doing something different there isn’t a sense of unity and togetherness. However in line-dancing there is feeling of community sharing the moment with a room full or in my case a gym full of people.

I don’t know how many people can say that they spent part of their day at work line-dancing but I think we’d all be a lot happier if we did.

If you have line-danced you probably know the great feeling line dancing can bring and if you haven’t line-danced before, try it. Let yourself go, even if it seems a little dorky. You’ll be surprised how a sharing a simple dance and a great song can turn your day around.

It's a beautiful feeling.

Piece Of My Heart by Erma Franklin/Janis Joplin/Melissa Etheridge

Erma Franklin, the older sister of the Queen of Soul, Aretha Franklin who never made it big.

Janis Joplin, whose one of the most influential singers in popular music who died tragically from a drug overdoes.

Melissa Etheridge, a powerful singer-songwriter who inspired the world through her music, her voice and her courage as a breast cancer survivor.

These three artists are linked together by one song, “Piece Of My Heart.” Written by Jerry Ragovoy and Bert Berns, this first recording of this song was by Erma Franklin the older sister of Aretha Franklin, one of the most influential singer in American pop music and ranked number one as the greatest singer of all time. While Aretha had great critical and commercial success, Erma and her other sister Carolyn struggled in the music business. Erma had a darker and less vibrant voice than Aretha. She faced other misfortunes in her singing career and in the mid-1970s left the business. Erma passed away in 2002 from throat cancer, never fulfilling her dream of making it in the music business while her younger sisters legendary status as the Queen of Soul continues to grow.



Erma’s biggest success was with “Piece Of My Heart” in 1967 which peaked at number sixty-two on the billboard hot 100 list. “Piece Of My Heart” expresses a unique struggle in which the narrator feels that she is giving all that she can to the relationship but wants to stick it out, even though it is causing her pain. Erma sings soulfully pulling back on “didn’t I give you nearly everything that a woman possibly could?” and later effortlessly moving across the range of her voice in the second verse “and you never hear me when I cry at night.” The background is classic Atlantic Soul with a laid-back gospel feeling in the background instruments and vocalists. Erma’s expresses the pain and struggle in the song but there is a sense of restraint not fully acknowledging the innate conflict within the song. In contrast, Janis Joplin mercilessly expresses inner turmoil like few other singers have ever done before.



In 1968, Janis Joplin with her band, Big Brother and the Holding Company covered “Piece Of My Heart.” Janis Joplin proved to the world that “a woman can be tough” performing and partying just as hard as her male contemporaries. Her attitude and style stood out against conventions of not only how people thought a woman should look but also how a woman should act. Even in our day and age, her scraggly appearance and raw voice stand out as a unique challenge to the way that people view the woman in popular culture.

After listening to Erma’s recording of “Piece Of My Heart” almost everything about Janis Joplin’s seems different. Instead of a clean blues band introduction, a dirty, raunchy and aggressive guitar with the rest of the band builds to Janis entrance. Though the bands sound completely different they both share a sense of bluesy expression leaning hard on notes that color the chords and pulling the tempo back creating different but expressive grooves.

Janis takes the blues convention and blows it apart. Her voice is raspy, untrained and has a tone that is both undesirable somewhat painful to listen to, However there is something so open and desperate in her expression that it not only intrigues but also engages the listener.

Janis starts the verse gently is after screaming out “come on.” Her tone cleans up on the word “feel” and then later on the next high note on “yeah” she howls leading up to the chorus. She sings the course with a chorus with a combination of anger, frustration and exacerbation. When she sings “you know you got it, if it makes you feel good, there’s almost a sense of servitude.

In the second verse, she adds layers to the lyrics repeating the word “never.” When children can’t find ways to express themselves sometimes they just repeat a word “I really, really, really, REALLY want this toy” this same kind of desperation and fixations is expressed when Janis repeats “never.” This is followed by Janis sobbing through the word “crying” before pulling herself together: “each time I tell myself that I, well I can't stand the pain, but when you hold me in your arms, I'll sing it once again.”

When Janis sings the out the loud high note after “you know you got it” in the second to last iteration of the verse, she shows us the most raw of emotion. There is nothing holding her back. It’s concentrated emotion with all the impurities left in the mixture. The amazing thing is how good hearing Janis’ pain feels to us as listeners. Unfortunately Janis’ demons were all too real and she died at the age of 27, from a heroin overdoes.

Melissa Etheridge is one of those artists that even though you may not love her music, you still hope for her success. Working her way up thought he music business she rejected the images that people suggested that she adopt working as an uncompromising singer and songwriter. Her breakout hit was “Come To My Window” and has released a total of ten albums, three of which have gone multi-platinum. One of the greatest female rock singers she is thought of as being the female Bruce Springsteen matching him in her musicianship and uncompromising devotion to her fans.

In October 2004, Etheridge was diagnosed with breast cancer and in the following month, she underwent chemotherapy. Etheridge did not perform the next year and was rarely seen in the public eye. Then in February of 2005, she performed with Joss Stone in a tribute to Janis Joplin. Joss started the performance singing another Janis Joplin song “Cry Baby” and then Melissa Etheridge came out on stage, head bald from the side effects of chemotherapy and showed the world that she was back.

When she first approached the microphone and sang “c’mon” with her energetic and powerful voice it was clear that this was a special moment in popular music. After the huge opening of the song, the whole band quieted down and Melissa drew the crowd in. With her eyes closed Melissa quietly sang “didn’t I make you feel” and then opened her eyes and flashed a joyous smile and her face with a mischievous twinkle in her eye. Her voice, a unique blend of soul and rock, sensuously snaked around the notes of the melody. The camera panned back for a long view with Janis looking on from above the band approvingly when Melissa sang, “well, I’m going to show you.” When the camera came back to her face as Melissa sang “a woman can be tough.”

With this performance, this song became not only a tribute of Janis’ legacy but also a glorious celebration of the spirit in woman all over the world who have courageously faced breast cancer. If Melissa Etheridge’s scream at the end of the performance and her whole performance doesn’t prove that a woman can be tough, I don’t know what does.

The legacy of “Piece Of My Heart” lies in Erma Franklin’s dreams, Janis Joplin’s tragic life and Melissa Etheridge’s triumphant performance. With each artist, layers of expression are added to “Piece Of My Heart reminding us of the power of music to express the spirit and soul of its artists. Through the artists we understand not only what this songs means to the artist but what it means to ourselves pulling us closer to a piece of our hearts.

Under Pressure by David Bowie & Queen

To my future child,

It’s dad, I am writing to you before you are born. Right now, you are but a dream in the hearts of your mom and I and though we don’t plan to have you enter our lives for a couple years we are looking forward to sharing our lives with you. There is so much I want to share with you and right now, I want to tell you about a man and song that dares us to love.

Freddie Mercury was lead singer of a rock band named Queen from Great Britain. Many consider him one of the greatest rock singers of all time with his large range, powerful delivery and operatic style. He died young when he was 45 years old of AIDs complications in 1991 and was one of the first celebrities to succumb to this disease.

Freddie Mercury dedicated his life to entertaining people with his over the top theatrics, rock anthems and intimate reflections on love and life. Even though, I never met the man, I feel that through his art, I know him and no other song embodies the spirit of this beautiful human being like “Under Pressure.”

Queen recorded “Under Pressure” with David Bowie in 1981. “Under Pressure” is a unique song that does not follow the form of an ordinary rock song, but instead has a slow build to a majestic rock climax as only Queen can do.

The song begins with a simple bass line with background guitar lines to fill out the harmony, which accompany Freddie’s scatting. Scatting is a style of singing innovated by Louis Armstrong to imitate musical instruments with the voice using nonsense syllables. Mercury utilizes this technique throughout the entire piece showing the versatility of his voice as not only a melodic tool but also a rhythmic and supporting voice.

In the beginning of the song David Bowie (the lower voice) and Freddie sing about how the pressure tears people apart and the terror of watching people feel trapped. Then at two minutes into the song, things get quiet. Pulling everything back, Queen creates anticipation and space for the musical climax. Freddie sings about our reaction to the pain around us.

Turned away from it all like a blind man
Sat on a fence but it don't work
Keep coming up with love
but it's so slashed and torn.

He is telling us how sometimes love lets us down and we pull into ourselves in order to prevent from being hurt. The organ in the background brings us to church with a feeling on confessions and shame and then Freddie asks “why.” This question rises higher and higher as the band builds, disappearing into the climax as we are asked a daring questions.

Why can't we give love one more chance?
'Cause love's such an old fashioned word
And love dares you to care for the people on the edge of the night
And loves dares you to change our way of caring about ourselves.

Love is hard. It seems cliché sometimes, and it forces us to change. True love is not about caring about the people we agree with but the people at the edge of our lives who do things that we do not understand. If you truly accept differences in people through love, it changes you and you care about yourself through a heart, deeper and richer for accepting others into it.

This song warns us in the end that this is our last dance. Pressure keeps us from each other, from taking a chance to love. That pressure is misunderstanding, which leads to fear and sometimes develops into hatred.

When Freddie Mercury died, some still knew AIDs as the “Gay Plague” because it hit the homosexual community in the 1980s with a devastating effect. Some people went so far as to say that AIDs was God’s punishment to homosexuals for “choosing” to be Gay. The fear of this disease led to the misunderstanding and hatred that overshadowed over the compassion people should always carry for each other.

Now, we are approaching the end of 2008, people understand AIDs as a disease that effects all of us but there is still no cure. More people accept homosexuality, as part of our culture however many believe that being homosexual is a sinful choice that runs contrary to their morals. Is this because people still hate each other and refuse to reach out and love the people at the edge of the night?

People who believe that homosexuals are sinners, sometimes forget to love the sinner while they disagree with the sin. In addition, homosexuals sometimes forget to love people who though may misunderstand them, regardless of how they treat them.

A holy book does not guide my moral. I cannot give you proof from a text that tells you whether homosexuality is choice or whether being loving someone of your own gender is sinful. What I have to go on is your Aunt Jen. Now, Aunt Jen isn’t one of your biological aunts but she is someone your mom and I love so much that she has become as close as any other of our biological family members.

I met Aunt Jen her freshmen year of college and we quickly became friends. About two years later, she told that she was bisexual. This didn’t seem like a big deal at the time but Jen’s openness and honesty has shown me the love that we all share. Aunt Jen is one of most beautiful people I have ever met in my life. In the years that I have known her, she has never done anything that I would call truly sinful or evil. What I’ve seen in her with her girlfriends is the same love that I feel for your mother, for her and for you. How can I say that loving someone of his or her gender is a sin when it is a part of your Aunt Jen, someone whose goodness I truly believe in and whose love I share?

I hope when you have children that you can tell them a different ending to this story. When you tell your children about Freddie Mercury, I hope AIDs is thought of a vaccine that you have to take when you are young as opposed to horrific and heartbreaking disease. I hope that you can tell kids about a time when people judged others humanity on their sexuality and they react with disbelief because the world has moved passed this.

During the wedding ceremony of your mother and we had reading from the bible, and in this reading Jesus spoke to his disciples and said “This is my commandment: love one another as I have loved you.” Loving others is perhaps the hardest thing in life to do, but it is also the most rewarding.

Our life is our last dance and our love is our last chance.

Thanks in advance for beauty and love that you will bring to not only to our lives but also to everyone that you touch.

I can’t wait to meet you.

-Dad