In the nationwide debate on marriage equality the conversation swirls around the idea of what defines a marriage. The focus of this debate centers on homosexuality as the one variation in marriage that would demolish the definition of marriage to the point that it would loose its meaning.
Plurality in marriage exists in ways that far exceeds a straight relationship versus homosexuality. There are marriages that include monogamous relationships and open non-monogamous relationships. There are people who are married who live together and those who live apart. There are marriages in which both people are about the same age and other marriages where the two people are a generation apart in age. Some marriages are very focused on religion and some unions do not see religion as part of their relationship.
In some marriages the two people are of the same race and others like my own marriage join two people of different races.
If we can define marriages as being anything we want them to be, than what is marriage? We find one answer in Springsteen’s romantic ode to marriage, “I Wanna Marry You.”
“I Wanna Marry You,” is a strikingly beautiful in his heartfelt but realistic romanticism. It's an optimistic and gentle song right before the deep and powerful title track on The River. Like the line “you ain’t a beauty but hey you’re alright,” from “Thunder Road,” Springsteen doesn’t sugar-coat this story. Most romantic songs idealize the object of desire and what love can do for this person. Springsteen takes a different approach and opens the song by describing how this girl that he loves is a single mom with two kids.
This isn’t exactly the girl that most teenage boys fantasize about, but this is what makes this song so endearing. Springsteen doesn’t care that she has kids. You almost get the sense that he loves her because of this fact.
The next verse shows sensitivity, as he tells her that he doesn’t believe that marriage should “clip your wings.” He tries to tell her that there are responsibilities to think about and that true love is no fairytale. He knows that he can’t make everything change for this girl but he’s going to do what he can. There is something so gentle and reassuring when he sings “to say I’ll make your dream come true would be wrong, but maybe, darling, I could help them along.” Some girls may want to hear a romantic fantasy but sometimes its simply more powerful to hear that someone express honest devotion.
The song ends with Springsteen's gentle voice rising on the word “wear your name,” as he proclaims how proud he would be to be her husband. It’s an expression of joy of hope and desire that feel so much more honest and pure than simply singing out “I love you.”
Springsteen’s idea of marriage here is romantic but it’s also realistic. It’s a mix of devotion and hope, a union that provides stability but also is one of pride. These are the tenants of marriage, not the race or sex of the individuals involved.
Last weekend, Diana and I celebrated our sixth wedding anniversary. Thinking about our time together, I got to disagree with one of Springsteen's points. There's nothing sad about wanting someone as bad as I want my wife, as I wear my love with pride. Every day we share together makes me look forward to the rest of our lives together even more.
Yes I do want to marry you, now more than ever.
Showing posts with label springsteen. Show all posts
Showing posts with label springsteen. Show all posts
Wednesday, July 16, 2014
Wednesday, July 9, 2014
The Ties That Bind by Bruce Springsteen
It starts with an alarm. Four forceful guitar chords push you out of the door to confront what you've been trying to ignore.
The River’s opening song “The Ties That Bind,” is not a gentle invitation like “Thunder Road,” which opened Born To Run. It’s an urgent, questioning and immediate song that lays out the central theme of Springsteen’s epic The River.
Springsteen’s opening songs for his albums often lay out central themes that frame the entire work. For Wrecking Ball, “We Take Care Of Own,” asks the two defining questions of the album as well as the questions of the presidential election: Who are our own and what does it mean to take care of these people?
“The Ties That Bind,” and The River struggles with different questions. What are the connections between us and how do we they limit and free us to help us through the struggles in our lives? If you think about the songs I’ve already written about from The River they all wrestle with this idea. “Drive All Night,” is about a man struggling with the ties that he feels with a love that has left him. “Wreck On The Highway,” is about the feeling of love that connects a man to his love in the face of tragedy. “Fade Away,” deals with the feeling that a bond is being a lost. “The River” describes a feeling of responsibility and commitment in the face of struggle and “Sherry Darling,” is about a guy who is annoyed at the relationship his girlfriend has with his mother. (Now I'm not sure how all those songs about cars fits in with this theme, I'll look into that later).
To introduce this theme, “The Ties That Bind” portrays a conversation in which Bruce tries to convince a girl to stop ignoring the reality of her life. In the first verse, he acknowledges that she has been hurt and that she wants to get away. She is angry and resentful and is “walking blind,” to the ties that bind.
In the second verse, he continues, telling her that her “cheap romance,” is meaningless. She thinks that “walkin’ tough,” is a sign of strength, but the true challenge is facing up to her responsibilities.
In the bridge, Bruce argues that he would rather “feel the hurt inside” than feel “the emptiness your heart must hide.” The last verse continues this idea as Bruce says that he would be with her and “stand in time.”
"The Ties That Bind," faces this tough conversation with a joyful and energetic rock groove. It's more garage band than "epic wall of sound." It's harkens back to a simpler type of rock song but with themes far more complex and challenging than most songs that share its structure and style.
"The River" is the title track of the album and is a powerful examination of the ties of love and responsibility between two people. "The Ties That Bind," brings us into this idea and asks us to question how we face our own reality and begin thinking about what are the ties that bind that we ignore but can never truly escape.
Bruce is right. It is better to feel the pain in life with someone else than to run away from one's responsibilities alone. It's a harder path but it draws us together to the people that we love. This is worth the hardship.
The ties that bind sometimes get in our way, sometimes they feel like a burden. Sometimes in life we pull away from these ties and at other times we let them draw us closer to others. It's a constant struggle but like these bonds, this struggle defines who we are and the choices we make every day.
The River’s opening song “The Ties That Bind,” is not a gentle invitation like “Thunder Road,” which opened Born To Run. It’s an urgent, questioning and immediate song that lays out the central theme of Springsteen’s epic The River.
Springsteen’s opening songs for his albums often lay out central themes that frame the entire work. For Wrecking Ball, “We Take Care Of Own,” asks the two defining questions of the album as well as the questions of the presidential election: Who are our own and what does it mean to take care of these people?
“The Ties That Bind,” and The River struggles with different questions. What are the connections between us and how do we they limit and free us to help us through the struggles in our lives? If you think about the songs I’ve already written about from The River they all wrestle with this idea. “Drive All Night,” is about a man struggling with the ties that he feels with a love that has left him. “Wreck On The Highway,” is about the feeling of love that connects a man to his love in the face of tragedy. “Fade Away,” deals with the feeling that a bond is being a lost. “The River” describes a feeling of responsibility and commitment in the face of struggle and “Sherry Darling,” is about a guy who is annoyed at the relationship his girlfriend has with his mother. (Now I'm not sure how all those songs about cars fits in with this theme, I'll look into that later).
To introduce this theme, “The Ties That Bind” portrays a conversation in which Bruce tries to convince a girl to stop ignoring the reality of her life. In the first verse, he acknowledges that she has been hurt and that she wants to get away. She is angry and resentful and is “walking blind,” to the ties that bind.
In the second verse, he continues, telling her that her “cheap romance,” is meaningless. She thinks that “walkin’ tough,” is a sign of strength, but the true challenge is facing up to her responsibilities.
In the bridge, Bruce argues that he would rather “feel the hurt inside” than feel “the emptiness your heart must hide.” The last verse continues this idea as Bruce says that he would be with her and “stand in time.”
"The Ties That Bind," faces this tough conversation with a joyful and energetic rock groove. It's more garage band than "epic wall of sound." It's harkens back to a simpler type of rock song but with themes far more complex and challenging than most songs that share its structure and style.
"The River" is the title track of the album and is a powerful examination of the ties of love and responsibility between two people. "The Ties That Bind," brings us into this idea and asks us to question how we face our own reality and begin thinking about what are the ties that bind that we ignore but can never truly escape.
Bruce is right. It is better to feel the pain in life with someone else than to run away from one's responsibilities alone. It's a harder path but it draws us together to the people that we love. This is worth the hardship.
The ties that bind sometimes get in our way, sometimes they feel like a burden. Sometimes in life we pull away from these ties and at other times we let them draw us closer to others. It's a constant struggle but like these bonds, this struggle defines who we are and the choices we make every day.
Wednesday, June 18, 2014
Wreck On The Highway by Bruce Springsteen
“Wreck On The Highway,” the closing song on Springsteen’s epic The River album describes what it means to love somebody in a unique and unexpected way. Much like the Barenaked Ladies’ beautiful “Tonight Is The Night I Fell Asleep At The Wheel” (which I discussed in this earlier post), “Wreck On The Highway,” a car crash become a catalyst for the expression of true love, without using the word “love.”
Both of these songs take the challenge of describing love, not through metaphors, or poetic devices, but rather through events that happen in life. This requires subtlety, carefully constructed lyrics and truly remarkable performances. “Wreck On The Highway,” blows this challenge out of the water.
“Wreck On The Highway,” has very simple lyrics. Springsteen who is known for amazing poetic imagery lets the music set the mood and speaks not as a poet, but rather as a simple man.
The protagonist comes across a wreck. There’s a man, lying on the side of the road who asks for help. An ambulance comes and takes the man away. As the main character drives away from the wreck, he imagines a girlfriend or a young wife receiving the news that her loved one died.
At this point in the song our protagonist imagines what this tragedy means to people who may have loved this man in the wreck. This isn’t something people thick about when they are teenagers or even when they are early adults. Immaturity narrows our focus on ourselves so we don’t think about how things effect others. One of the things that draws us out of this bubble is having someone in our lives that we truly care about.
To love someone, to truly be in a meaningful relationship is to understand that one’s actions resonate with people who love you. This man has reached this point. It is this imagination that leads us to think that there is something deeper going on in this man.
The last verse is one of the most beautiful that Springsteen has ever written.
It may seem strange to think of a tragedy when you hold someone you love, but think about it for a minute. Whenever something sad happens, whenever we feel pain, we long to be held by that one person in our lives that provides us with meaning and comfort, the one person who completes us.
Sadness and fear are like every other emotion. They are meant to be shared with people we love because when we go through these emotions with other people, they give these emotions meaning.
After the length of a double album, we expect a long outro to “Wreck On The Highway,” but it seems to end before before we get a chance to reflect on the lyrics. This is jarring but so is seeing a wreck on the highway. Thankfully, Springsteen adds a little bit more music after the pause to give us a little bit more time, like that the one more moment we wish we could have had with someone we've lost.
“Wreck On The Highway” challenges us to think about what it truly means to know love and share love with others.
Both of these songs take the challenge of describing love, not through metaphors, or poetic devices, but rather through events that happen in life. This requires subtlety, carefully constructed lyrics and truly remarkable performances. “Wreck On The Highway,” blows this challenge out of the water.
“Wreck On The Highway,” has very simple lyrics. Springsteen who is known for amazing poetic imagery lets the music set the mood and speaks not as a poet, but rather as a simple man.
The protagonist comes across a wreck. There’s a man, lying on the side of the road who asks for help. An ambulance comes and takes the man away. As the main character drives away from the wreck, he imagines a girlfriend or a young wife receiving the news that her loved one died.
At this point in the song our protagonist imagines what this tragedy means to people who may have loved this man in the wreck. This isn’t something people thick about when they are teenagers or even when they are early adults. Immaturity narrows our focus on ourselves so we don’t think about how things effect others. One of the things that draws us out of this bubble is having someone in our lives that we truly care about.
To love someone, to truly be in a meaningful relationship is to understand that one’s actions resonate with people who love you. This man has reached this point. It is this imagination that leads us to think that there is something deeper going on in this man.
The last verse is one of the most beautiful that Springsteen has ever written.
Sometimes I sit up in the darknessWhat is he thinking when he watches her sleep? Does he fear a loosing her? Is he grateful for the time they have together? Is he concerned that one day he will cause her pain, or has he already made a mistake that caused her to be hurt that he regrets? We don’t know, Springsteen, doesn’t lay it out for us, so it forces us to wonder and project our own feelings on these lines.
And I watch my baby as she sleeps
Then I climb in bed and I hold her tight
I just lay there awake in the middle of the night
Thinking 'bout the wreck on the highway
It may seem strange to think of a tragedy when you hold someone you love, but think about it for a minute. Whenever something sad happens, whenever we feel pain, we long to be held by that one person in our lives that provides us with meaning and comfort, the one person who completes us.
Sadness and fear are like every other emotion. They are meant to be shared with people we love because when we go through these emotions with other people, they give these emotions meaning.
After the length of a double album, we expect a long outro to “Wreck On The Highway,” but it seems to end before before we get a chance to reflect on the lyrics. This is jarring but so is seeing a wreck on the highway. Thankfully, Springsteen adds a little bit more music after the pause to give us a little bit more time, like that the one more moment we wish we could have had with someone we've lost.
“Wreck On The Highway” challenges us to think about what it truly means to know love and share love with others.
Wednesday, June 11, 2014
Fade Away by Bruce Springsteen
What are we really scared of when someone breaks-up with us? Maybe it’s the loss of companionship or loosing emotional security of having a partner. Or maybe it’s the fear that somehow we will be forgotten, somehow we will fade away.
Springsteen's songs about break-ups take a mature and interesting approach to this subject. One of my favorite Springsteen songs “Bobby Jean” (which I discussed in this earlier post) is a song about a break-up but it’s more about wanting to wish the other person well than wanting them back. It’s a mature reflection on a break-up and demonstrates how someone should feel if they truly care for the one that they have just lost.
In “Fade Away,” Springsteen pleads for a relationship not through apologies or descriptions of pain and hurt. Instead he sings about understanding and his fears.
The opening is about how the girl has found another man “who does things to you that I can’t.” This reasoning for a break-up should be enough to send any man into a rage but instead, there’s a sorrowful disbelief in his words.
The organ is almost ghostly and sets up a mellow and beautiful texture for this slowly undulating melody. The background music reminisces about the good times in the relationship, which juxtaposed against these sad lyrics expresses the emotional complexity of a break-up.
The chorus is a simple plea. He just wants to know what he can say or do, not because he “wants” her back, he just doesn’t want to “fade away.”
In the second verse, he continues to validate her feelings. He knows that he has messed up and with great humility he accepts the situation. This continues in the next verse, when he expresses that he misses the good times as well. He’s not shifting blame but saying that he understands.
When he sings about not wanting to “fade away,” he is saying that he doesn’t want to be another “useless memory.” He wants their time together to mean something. He doesn’t feel like he did enough in the relationship, to feel comfortable leaving it just yet. He hopes that she will carry part of his love with her for the rest of her life.
One of the fears we have about death is that we will be forgotten. If we aren’t remembered than that somehow means that our life didn’t have any meaning. That search for meaning comes through in relationships as well. It’s one thing to accept that we will have relationships fail in our lives. But the idea that we will fade away, that our time in these relationships don’t have meaning reflects the loss of meaning in our lives.
We can’t ensure that people we meet in our lives will carry us with them after our time with them is over. You can never know what brief encounters in life will hold a pernament place in our hearts forever and which long, seemingly significant relationships will fade. What Springsteen captures in “Fade Away,” is a very honest and revealing look at fears that we all share but we don’t want to acknowledge.
Fears should lead us not to speculate or worry about things that we cannot know instead they should motivate us to do the best we can in our lives, in the moment. That’s all we can do. Fading away is a scary thought, but it’s doesn't reflect a loss of meaning. Just because we don’t remember someone doesn’t mean that they didn’t have an impact on our lives. If we truly care about someone, it’s not important that they remember us but that the love that we gave them helped make them a better person. In that way, we will never fade away.
Springsteen's songs about break-ups take a mature and interesting approach to this subject. One of my favorite Springsteen songs “Bobby Jean” (which I discussed in this earlier post) is a song about a break-up but it’s more about wanting to wish the other person well than wanting them back. It’s a mature reflection on a break-up and demonstrates how someone should feel if they truly care for the one that they have just lost.
In “Fade Away,” Springsteen pleads for a relationship not through apologies or descriptions of pain and hurt. Instead he sings about understanding and his fears.
The opening is about how the girl has found another man “who does things to you that I can’t.” This reasoning for a break-up should be enough to send any man into a rage but instead, there’s a sorrowful disbelief in his words.
The organ is almost ghostly and sets up a mellow and beautiful texture for this slowly undulating melody. The background music reminisces about the good times in the relationship, which juxtaposed against these sad lyrics expresses the emotional complexity of a break-up.
The chorus is a simple plea. He just wants to know what he can say or do, not because he “wants” her back, he just doesn’t want to “fade away.”
In the second verse, he continues to validate her feelings. He knows that he has messed up and with great humility he accepts the situation. This continues in the next verse, when he expresses that he misses the good times as well. He’s not shifting blame but saying that he understands.
When he sings about not wanting to “fade away,” he is saying that he doesn’t want to be another “useless memory.” He wants their time together to mean something. He doesn’t feel like he did enough in the relationship, to feel comfortable leaving it just yet. He hopes that she will carry part of his love with her for the rest of her life.
One of the fears we have about death is that we will be forgotten. If we aren’t remembered than that somehow means that our life didn’t have any meaning. That search for meaning comes through in relationships as well. It’s one thing to accept that we will have relationships fail in our lives. But the idea that we will fade away, that our time in these relationships don’t have meaning reflects the loss of meaning in our lives.
We can’t ensure that people we meet in our lives will carry us with them after our time with them is over. You can never know what brief encounters in life will hold a pernament place in our hearts forever and which long, seemingly significant relationships will fade. What Springsteen captures in “Fade Away,” is a very honest and revealing look at fears that we all share but we don’t want to acknowledge.
Fears should lead us not to speculate or worry about things that we cannot know instead they should motivate us to do the best we can in our lives, in the moment. That’s all we can do. Fading away is a scary thought, but it’s doesn't reflect a loss of meaning. Just because we don’t remember someone doesn’t mean that they didn’t have an impact on our lives. If we truly care about someone, it’s not important that they remember us but that the love that we gave them helped make them a better person. In that way, we will never fade away.
Wednesday, April 2, 2014
Out In The Street by Bruce Springsteen
The interesting thing about Springsteen’s works is that they don’t all necessarily immediately capture your attention. “Thunder Road” immediately enraptured me from the very first time I heard it and so did “Promised Land.” Other songs didn’t really speak to me until I heard them live like “Born To Run” and “Waitin’ On A Sunny Day.”
Then there’s the songs I’ve listened to that don’t really capture my imagination until one day when I become obsessed and listen to northing but that one song over and over for a week. “Out In The Streets,” was that song for me last week.
Springsteen has started selling his live shows on his website and I got his Cape Town, South Africa performance. It’s an amazing show and its great t hear Springsteen work a crowd that doesn’t necessarily react the way that he expects.
There’s so many great moments on this show but his performance of “Out In The Streets” really stood out to me.
This song has it all. It’s got that blue-collar perspective, the amazing sax solo, and the vocalized crowd response in the chorus right after “out in the street.” The lyrics don’t have any metaphors. It’s very straight forward, but there’s something so beautiful in its simplicity. Someone works all day and when they hit the streets they feel freedom. That’s it.
Like in so many other Springsteen songs, the music of “Out In The Streets,” captures the feelings of this song as much as the words. Some of the lines hold so much meaning in live performances like “in the crowd I feel at home.”
Like “Thunder Road,” this song starts with an invitation, and it’s less poetic but it’s somehow more immediate. This song puts you so quickly in a place to hope and freedom that’s very different than “Thunder Road,” or some of Springsteen’s deeper songs.
The great appeal of Springsteen is that he allows himself and his music to be different things to different people. Not every song will have the same level of appeal and accessibility. While I love analyzing his most complex lyrics, I also am in awe of a song like “Out In The Streets,” and his ability to capture a different type of feeling so effectively.
There’s this family feeling when Springsteen performs this song. When he brings everyone up to the microphone at the end it feels like a musical group hug. When Clarence comes up, it’s just beautiful. It’s hard to explain what seeing him up on the stage means, but it’s really special. There’s something profound in their friendship and the sound of his saxophone as a musical counterpoint to Springsteen’s voice.
Everything in life is worth taking a second look at. You never know when something comes alive to you in a way that you never expect.
Then there’s the songs I’ve listened to that don’t really capture my imagination until one day when I become obsessed and listen to northing but that one song over and over for a week. “Out In The Streets,” was that song for me last week.
Springsteen has started selling his live shows on his website and I got his Cape Town, South Africa performance. It’s an amazing show and its great t hear Springsteen work a crowd that doesn’t necessarily react the way that he expects.
There’s so many great moments on this show but his performance of “Out In The Streets” really stood out to me.
This song has it all. It’s got that blue-collar perspective, the amazing sax solo, and the vocalized crowd response in the chorus right after “out in the street.” The lyrics don’t have any metaphors. It’s very straight forward, but there’s something so beautiful in its simplicity. Someone works all day and when they hit the streets they feel freedom. That’s it.
Like in so many other Springsteen songs, the music of “Out In The Streets,” captures the feelings of this song as much as the words. Some of the lines hold so much meaning in live performances like “in the crowd I feel at home.”
Like “Thunder Road,” this song starts with an invitation, and it’s less poetic but it’s somehow more immediate. This song puts you so quickly in a place to hope and freedom that’s very different than “Thunder Road,” or some of Springsteen’s deeper songs.
The great appeal of Springsteen is that he allows himself and his music to be different things to different people. Not every song will have the same level of appeal and accessibility. While I love analyzing his most complex lyrics, I also am in awe of a song like “Out In The Streets,” and his ability to capture a different type of feeling so effectively.
There’s this family feeling when Springsteen performs this song. When he brings everyone up to the microphone at the end it feels like a musical group hug. When Clarence comes up, it’s just beautiful. It’s hard to explain what seeing him up on the stage means, but it’s really special. There’s something profound in their friendship and the sound of his saxophone as a musical counterpoint to Springsteen’s voice.
Everything in life is worth taking a second look at. You never know when something comes alive to you in a way that you never expect.
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