This week felt like opening the front door, seeing rays of sunshine, but unsure if it would rain. You could decide to stay indoors, go outside with a raincoat just in case, or go outside, head held high, and focus on the sun's warmth instead of fearing the rain. I chose the latter.
I've been through a lot in the past couple of years as a teacher during this ongoing pandemic. August has been a time of great stress and anxiety these past couple of years. Going back in person in the fall of 2020 was led up by a summer of unknowns. How would we do school? Would we be in-person the whole year? What would school be like?
August of 2021 didn't feel a lot better. Things were better. Many of us were vaccinated, and things felt like we were returning to normal. However, the summer wasn't as "normal" as we thought, and the fall of 2021 was somehow more complex than the fall of 2020. We knew that things would be bad in the fall of 2020. In the fall of 2021, we hoped things would be better, but they weren't. Masks had to go back on, and concerts had to cancel. Hope for a more typical school dashed in 2021 was more challenging than not having hope at any assembles of "normal" in 2020.
Coming to school, it almost didn't seem real. Most people weren't wearing masks, and the uneasy stress I had experienced in the air for the past two falls was gone. Instead, it felt like we were doing business without the pandemic being at the forefront of our concerns. Of course, people mentioned it and had questions about mitigations, but for the most part, anxiety about the pandemic did not take over people's concerns and energy.
This was a full week. I got a lot done, which felt very satisfying, but I didn't get all I needed to get done to be ready for next week. Nevertheless, I had a lot of fun meeting and working with people new to our school, and it was nice connecting with colleagues I have worked with throughout the years.
Some things were new that I had to deal with and some things that carried over from last spring that needed work. I felt annoyed at some things that came up. I had to dig deep to find more patience, and I was almost overwhelmed, but I could refocus. I felt excited to return to work, sad to be away from my family, concerned about all I had to do, and proud of what I had accomplished.
There was time to laugh, time to connect, and time to empathize.
In the next couple of months, there will be joy, and there will be frustration. There will be challenges, unforeseen, and unexpected moments of kindness and grace. The pandemic isn't done with us, but that doesn't mean we have to let it take us down. I'd rather hope for more and be disappointed than expect the worse. There's too much potential and good to fight for to just be anything but optimistic.
Being a teacher means believing that tomorrow can be better than today.
I didn't make it this far, through some of the most challenging years of teaching in my life and the history of American education, to give up.
I'm still here.
I am in better shape mentally and physically last year. I have the power to impact my students and colleagues positively, and I have the privilege to work with wonderful, taltended, and inspiring children.
Here we go. Out of the frying pan...
