Wednesday, January 18, 2017
Monday, January 16, 2017
Parenthood: Week 187 – Empathy Machine
Ollie’s diet was great. It was filled with a variety, from different sources. All the important groups were represented and then he got into the frozen section. I mean Frozen and it all got out of wack.
Ollie was into Moana, listening to Hamilton, reading books by a variety of authors, with a nice balance of animals, and people of color as main characters. Even the NPR politics podcast that he often overheard while I drive him around had a nice balance of political viewpoints and perspectives from people of different racial and ethnic backgrounds.
Then Ollie got into Frozen from my niece. And while I was a little annoyed initially because while I think this film is pretty good, I could never get into it, it ended up being fine. He had a new cast of characters, and instead of being obsessed with his Maui doll, he got into this Anna action figure and it only added to the variety of cultural voices that he was experiencing.
We are very concerned with what we feed their children. Many try breast-feeding, and many do formula. This is a difficult choice for some parents. Those who do go with formula have a whole different challenge of trying to figure out which formula brand and type is best for their children.
The introduction of solid foods takes a lot of careful planning and there are a multitude of different philosophies. Toddlerhood is where a lot of people start compromising and let their kids eat too many carbs and not enough vegetables, but the thought of a balanced meal never leaves a parents’ mind. Even my mom, across the country sometimes checks in the make sure that I’m eating right.
It’s important that we think about the books, films, music and television shows that our children consume as well. Think about the authors of the books that you read your children. Are they all men? Think about the characters in these books. Are they mostly white? Mostly male? In the music that your children enjoy, are they of one style of music and again, what perspectives are being represented in the music? As important as it is for children to see themselves in art, they need to see others to help expand their idea of who is included in their tribe.
Just like with foods, we sometimes simply lean into what our kids are into, but we need to educate our kids to take small bites of books and films they don’t initially like, just like a small bite of a new food.
Parents of children of color think about this issue a lot, because if we do not deliberately consider the representation of people of color in the art that our children consume, they will view a world that is mostly Caucasian and does not include them. Woman more often think about this than men because as a minority. There is less portrayal of woman in our culture and less diversity in that limited exposure we have to woman than is idea.
Start with yourself. Examine the authors you read, the artists you listen to and the actors that you watch. Put them in a list. Does this list represent the many layers of diversity that you want your child to embrace and celebrate? If it doesn’t, make some changes. Then do the same thing for your own children.
This isn’t easy to do, but it’ important. You are what you eat and you are the art that your experience. With food we feed the body and sometimes our soul, and with art we feed our minds, our hearts and our soul. Do this work so to your children are healthy and strong, physically, mentally, and emotionally.
Neil Gaiman said that “a book is a little empathy machine.” I would add that all art is an empathy machine, which as Gaiman concludes, “It puts you inside somebody else’s head. You see out of the world through somebody else’s eyes. It’s very hard to hate people of a certain kind when you’ve just read a book by one of those people.”
Ollie was into Moana, listening to Hamilton, reading books by a variety of authors, with a nice balance of animals, and people of color as main characters. Even the NPR politics podcast that he often overheard while I drive him around had a nice balance of political viewpoints and perspectives from people of different racial and ethnic backgrounds.
Then Ollie got into Frozen from my niece. And while I was a little annoyed initially because while I think this film is pretty good, I could never get into it, it ended up being fine. He had a new cast of characters, and instead of being obsessed with his Maui doll, he got into this Anna action figure and it only added to the variety of cultural voices that he was experiencing.
We are very concerned with what we feed their children. Many try breast-feeding, and many do formula. This is a difficult choice for some parents. Those who do go with formula have a whole different challenge of trying to figure out which formula brand and type is best for their children.
The introduction of solid foods takes a lot of careful planning and there are a multitude of different philosophies. Toddlerhood is where a lot of people start compromising and let their kids eat too many carbs and not enough vegetables, but the thought of a balanced meal never leaves a parents’ mind. Even my mom, across the country sometimes checks in the make sure that I’m eating right.
It’s important that we think about the books, films, music and television shows that our children consume as well. Think about the authors of the books that you read your children. Are they all men? Think about the characters in these books. Are they mostly white? Mostly male? In the music that your children enjoy, are they of one style of music and again, what perspectives are being represented in the music? As important as it is for children to see themselves in art, they need to see others to help expand their idea of who is included in their tribe.
Just like with foods, we sometimes simply lean into what our kids are into, but we need to educate our kids to take small bites of books and films they don’t initially like, just like a small bite of a new food.
Parents of children of color think about this issue a lot, because if we do not deliberately consider the representation of people of color in the art that our children consume, they will view a world that is mostly Caucasian and does not include them. Woman more often think about this than men because as a minority. There is less portrayal of woman in our culture and less diversity in that limited exposure we have to woman than is idea.
Start with yourself. Examine the authors you read, the artists you listen to and the actors that you watch. Put them in a list. Does this list represent the many layers of diversity that you want your child to embrace and celebrate? If it doesn’t, make some changes. Then do the same thing for your own children.
This isn’t easy to do, but it’ important. You are what you eat and you are the art that your experience. With food we feed the body and sometimes our soul, and with art we feed our minds, our hearts and our soul. Do this work so to your children are healthy and strong, physically, mentally, and emotionally.
Neil Gaiman said that “a book is a little empathy machine.” I would add that all art is an empathy machine, which as Gaiman concludes, “It puts you inside somebody else’s head. You see out of the world through somebody else’s eyes. It’s very hard to hate people of a certain kind when you’ve just read a book by one of those people.”
Friday, January 13, 2017
Year 7: Week 18- Hope And Change In 8th Grade Band
We were having fun. The kids sounded good in 8th grade band I think that they knew that they were making progress. I was able to stay complimentary and we were getting some good work done.
It was time for announcements, so I went into explaining their schedule for their upcoming music festival. After I was done talking through the details, one of the students raised his hand and asked, “Are parents going to come?” I explained that they were invited to come to the performance part of the festival.
“SIGH,” he responded.
“What’s the problem?”
“Well, my moms always come and video record me on their phones and it’s really annoying.”
“Well, don’t worry, I’ll make sure that both of your moms can get up this close [waving my hand in front of his face].”
“I just have too many moms. I WANT A DAD!! [laughing].”
Without missing a beat, the entire class let out some relaxed laughter, interpreting his complaint as the sarcastic whining that it was intended to be. Then another student chimed in, “Why don’t you take one of David’s dads, you can do a switch and then you can both have a mom and a dad!” “That’s perfect!” the first student exclaimed. The class laughed some more and we got back to work.
This is part of the world that we are living in: teenagers in a room joking about same-sex parents. The joke had no homophobia and the laughter was not mean, but supportive and joyous. There was no hint of shame when he talked about his moms, and no sense of shock or surprise from the other students.
The idea of same-sex parents isn’t something they need to learn to tolerate or learn to accept. This is just a normal part of their life. For me this was a joyful moment but it was also mind-blowing. I remember all of the homophobic jokes when I was a teenager and its incredible how much has changed. Yes, not every group of teenagers is like this. There are many who still openly make homophobic jokes, teenagers and adults, but we can find the best of us in our teenagers and that gives me hope.
As a school, I believe that we as faculty members can take some credit for creating this feeling of inclusion and acceptance. However, our work would be for naught without the values our students learn from their families and the tremendous progress our country has made as a whole.
Hope and change persists.
It can get dark out there, but look to our kids, you will find the light.
It was time for announcements, so I went into explaining their schedule for their upcoming music festival. After I was done talking through the details, one of the students raised his hand and asked, “Are parents going to come?” I explained that they were invited to come to the performance part of the festival.
“SIGH,” he responded.
“What’s the problem?”
“Well, my moms always come and video record me on their phones and it’s really annoying.”
“Well, don’t worry, I’ll make sure that both of your moms can get up this close [waving my hand in front of his face].”
“I just have too many moms. I WANT A DAD!! [laughing].”
Without missing a beat, the entire class let out some relaxed laughter, interpreting his complaint as the sarcastic whining that it was intended to be. Then another student chimed in, “Why don’t you take one of David’s dads, you can do a switch and then you can both have a mom and a dad!” “That’s perfect!” the first student exclaimed. The class laughed some more and we got back to work.
This is part of the world that we are living in: teenagers in a room joking about same-sex parents. The joke had no homophobia and the laughter was not mean, but supportive and joyous. There was no hint of shame when he talked about his moms, and no sense of shock or surprise from the other students.
The idea of same-sex parents isn’t something they need to learn to tolerate or learn to accept. This is just a normal part of their life. For me this was a joyful moment but it was also mind-blowing. I remember all of the homophobic jokes when I was a teenager and its incredible how much has changed. Yes, not every group of teenagers is like this. There are many who still openly make homophobic jokes, teenagers and adults, but we can find the best of us in our teenagers and that gives me hope.
As a school, I believe that we as faculty members can take some credit for creating this feeling of inclusion and acceptance. However, our work would be for naught without the values our students learn from their families and the tremendous progress our country has made as a whole.
Hope and change persists.
It can get dark out there, but look to our kids, you will find the light.
Monday, January 9, 2017
Parenthood: Week 186 - Parent Volunteer
My mom was always around as a parent volunteer when I was in elementary school. She contributed so much that she was awarded the Golden Acorn volunteer award. On one level, I remember being slightly annoyed that she was around all of the time but more than that I was comforted that she was around and proud of the things that she contributed.
Parent volunteering is an essential part of American public schools. Teachers rely on parent volunteers to chaperone field trips, grade papers, teach math groups, supervise recess and lunch, run art projects, set-up classrooms, and many more things. The vast majority of teachers are overworked, do not have enough prep time and are underpaid. Without these volunteers, basic things that we expect out of an education, like field trips to museums simply would not happen.
Beyond the need for help, parental involvement helps create school community. When a school opens up its doors to parent, it creates trust and when parents come into schools it expresses a value in the teachers work.
My mom didn't work full-time so she had the ability to come in an volunteer. Unfortunately, since I'm a full time teachers, my ability to be a parent volunteer is much more limited. This makes me sad. I want to be around for Ollie and watch him grow, and there is a lot of time when we are apart. I'm comforted knowing he's having awesome experiences at school and of course I'd rather have Ollie have these experiences without me than not at all.
So I was really excited when the fact that Ollie and I had different winter breaks this year (which was unusual and not ideal) meant that I could come in as a parent volunteer. I have come into Ollie's class to do some music activities, but this was different. I wasn't a special guest leading a unique activity; I was plugging into an existing art project and helping the class.
The project was gingerbread houses. So along with a group of parents, I created graham cracker gingerbread houses built around little cereal boxes. We used frosting as glue and then the kids would get to decorate them.
As we were working some students were coming in and out of the classroom for various reasons. When they saw what we were doing, they immediately got excited. One of these kids was Ollie. His face lit up and he ran towards me with incredible excitement. I’m not sure how much of that was for me and how much of his joy was for the candy.
We spent about an hour making the houses, and then we went in the room and helped the kids decorate the houses. Afterwards, we helped clean up and said our goodbyes to our kids. The work wasn't hard but I saw how the extra people was essential in making this project happen.
It was a wonderful experience. I loved talking to other parents, being a cog in a wheel of the project and assisting the classroom. It fascinating to watch the other kids work in the classroom and it was really special to see Ollie in the middle of the day.
My mom's volunteering benefited me and my school in so many different ways. Now I see that one of the results of her work is inspiring me to do the same for my boy. No, I can't be at Ollie's school as much as my mom, but I can share in the joy she felt giving to my school in the moments when I'm volunteering at Ollie's school.
Parent volunteering is an essential part of American public schools. Teachers rely on parent volunteers to chaperone field trips, grade papers, teach math groups, supervise recess and lunch, run art projects, set-up classrooms, and many more things. The vast majority of teachers are overworked, do not have enough prep time and are underpaid. Without these volunteers, basic things that we expect out of an education, like field trips to museums simply would not happen.
Beyond the need for help, parental involvement helps create school community. When a school opens up its doors to parent, it creates trust and when parents come into schools it expresses a value in the teachers work.
My mom didn't work full-time so she had the ability to come in an volunteer. Unfortunately, since I'm a full time teachers, my ability to be a parent volunteer is much more limited. This makes me sad. I want to be around for Ollie and watch him grow, and there is a lot of time when we are apart. I'm comforted knowing he's having awesome experiences at school and of course I'd rather have Ollie have these experiences without me than not at all.
So I was really excited when the fact that Ollie and I had different winter breaks this year (which was unusual and not ideal) meant that I could come in as a parent volunteer. I have come into Ollie's class to do some music activities, but this was different. I wasn't a special guest leading a unique activity; I was plugging into an existing art project and helping the class.
The project was gingerbread houses. So along with a group of parents, I created graham cracker gingerbread houses built around little cereal boxes. We used frosting as glue and then the kids would get to decorate them.
As we were working some students were coming in and out of the classroom for various reasons. When they saw what we were doing, they immediately got excited. One of these kids was Ollie. His face lit up and he ran towards me with incredible excitement. I’m not sure how much of that was for me and how much of his joy was for the candy.
We spent about an hour making the houses, and then we went in the room and helped the kids decorate the houses. Afterwards, we helped clean up and said our goodbyes to our kids. The work wasn't hard but I saw how the extra people was essential in making this project happen.
It was a wonderful experience. I loved talking to other parents, being a cog in a wheel of the project and assisting the classroom. It fascinating to watch the other kids work in the classroom and it was really special to see Ollie in the middle of the day.
My mom's volunteering benefited me and my school in so many different ways. Now I see that one of the results of her work is inspiring me to do the same for my boy. No, I can't be at Ollie's school as much as my mom, but I can share in the joy she felt giving to my school in the moments when I'm volunteering at Ollie's school.
Friday, January 6, 2017
Year 7: Week 17 - My Shot
How do we make decisions? What guides us? There are times when we need to think about what’s best for the most amount of students and other times we need to make other students adjust for the needs of a couple. We have a school philosophy that defines the values of an institution and every single choice is made based on these values. Every day there are hundreds, thousands of decisions that teachers have to make. Over time our batting average gets better, but mistakes never stop, there are just fewer of them. It’s not so bad because over time we get better at apologizing.
I’ve had to make a lot of decisions in the past week as department chair. Some small ones without a large ripples and others that have larger consequences. I try my best to be decisive, because I know that this is important in establishing a direction for my department. And as Hamilton raps, "I would rather be divisive than indecisive" but this it takes a toll. It doesn’t feel good making decisions that you know some people won’t like. While it’s difficult when people come to you disagreeing with your choices, it’s even harder knowing that some people disagree with you and are talking about your decisions behind your back.
I like to think of myself as a hesitant leader, shoved into a position, but the reality is that leadership is something I have sought out throughout my life. I would always run for student council representative in elementary school, but I never got those kinds of positions as I wasn’t ever in the popular crowd. I got some level of leadership through musical achievement in high school and then in college I figured out a way to be “in the room where it happened,” as the music director of my fraternity which gave me a seat on our executive board.
Along with the stress of being on the board, there was power. I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t enjoy that power. However more than once, I used that to make decisions, that didn’t pan out how the way I planned and I was the one who had to deal with the consequences.
For the first four years of my teaching career, I wasn’t in that room, and I didn’t want to be. I was okay being on the sideline and not being involved in the politics and the ins and outs. Something changed when I came to this school.
The crazy ideas I came up with didn’t seem so crazy to other people. It was a more a question of should than could and with one of our school’s saying “everything to help and nothing to hinder,” leadership became something could happen once again.
The stakes were higher, the responsibility was more than I had ever taken on before, but something gave me the belief that I could do this. I had a way to make decisions I had never relied on before: the council and support of wonderful people who believed in me as much as the believed in our school.
This week has been crazy, overwhelming and stressful, but I kind of like it that way. This is my shot to make a difference in this school and my students' lives and I'm not going to throw it away.
I’ve had to make a lot of decisions in the past week as department chair. Some small ones without a large ripples and others that have larger consequences. I try my best to be decisive, because I know that this is important in establishing a direction for my department. And as Hamilton raps, "I would rather be divisive than indecisive" but this it takes a toll. It doesn’t feel good making decisions that you know some people won’t like. While it’s difficult when people come to you disagreeing with your choices, it’s even harder knowing that some people disagree with you and are talking about your decisions behind your back.
I like to think of myself as a hesitant leader, shoved into a position, but the reality is that leadership is something I have sought out throughout my life. I would always run for student council representative in elementary school, but I never got those kinds of positions as I wasn’t ever in the popular crowd. I got some level of leadership through musical achievement in high school and then in college I figured out a way to be “in the room where it happened,” as the music director of my fraternity which gave me a seat on our executive board.
Along with the stress of being on the board, there was power. I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t enjoy that power. However more than once, I used that to make decisions, that didn’t pan out how the way I planned and I was the one who had to deal with the consequences.
For the first four years of my teaching career, I wasn’t in that room, and I didn’t want to be. I was okay being on the sideline and not being involved in the politics and the ins and outs. Something changed when I came to this school.
The crazy ideas I came up with didn’t seem so crazy to other people. It was a more a question of should than could and with one of our school’s saying “everything to help and nothing to hinder,” leadership became something could happen once again.
The stakes were higher, the responsibility was more than I had ever taken on before, but something gave me the belief that I could do this. I had a way to make decisions I had never relied on before: the council and support of wonderful people who believed in me as much as the believed in our school.
This week has been crazy, overwhelming and stressful, but I kind of like it that way. This is my shot to make a difference in this school and my students' lives and I'm not going to throw it away.
Wednesday, January 4, 2017
Monday, January 2, 2017
Parenthood: Week 185 & 2016 People Of The Year: Part 6 - Black Lives Matter: Natalie Braye, Sophia Byrd, Eva Lewis, and Maxine Wint
Dear Ollie.
You have come to understand that there are things that you cannot do until you are older. Yes, when you are older, you can drive, you will be able to use the stove and you can get a tattoo like Maui (we might have to see about that last one). However, there are things that you don't have to wait until adulthood to do. You don't have to wait to have a possible impact on the lives of people around you, you don't have to wait to fight for the rights of others and you don't have to wait to change the world.
I've been reflecting on people in the past year who have inspired me to be a better person and a better dad to you. There's Bayley who proved that being kind and working hard bring success and joy to others. Sgt. Hawkins reminded me that it takes bravery to be oneself. Kate McKinnon helped me laugh but also cry while Dan Savage taught me how to work through tragedy and show me a way forward through understanding and embracing differences.
President Obama proved that real men fight for the rights of woman and are feminists. Lin-Manuel Miranda continued to create amazing art that helped me understanding that the values of anti-racism, diversity and inclusion must be at the heart of all that we do in order for our lives to be meaningful, beautiful and inspiring. Michelle Obama revealed all of who she was, reminding me of the power of words to both humiliate and inspire. Asma Khalid brought understanding and thoughtfulness into a political world that showed far too much hate and intolerance. And Secretary Hillary Clinton inspired millions to fight and continue to work for a vision of America where we all celebrate all of the facets of your identity.
More than all of these amazing people, there is a group of four whose actions touched me more deeply, brought me more pride, and inspired me with more hope than any other people or group of people this year: Natalie Braye, Sophia Byrd, Eva Lewis, and Maxine Wint, members of the Black Lives Matter movement.
These four African-American teenagers organized peaceful protests in Chicago last summer to bring attention to the continued injustice against members of the African-American community. In response to the deaths of Alton Sterling and Philando Castile, which is sadly only part of a pattern of injustice in our country, these four women decided to do something. By focusing more on community than division, peace than violence and hope over hate, they worked with police, community members and the press to create a peaceful rallies. Their will, clarity message and hard work resulted in an event that had no arrests, and brought together over 1,000 people for the cause of justice for all.
The founders of the Black Lives Matter movement, Alicia Garza, Patrisse Cullors and Opal Tometi are to be admired for their contributions and continued work. It is their commitment to social justice that reminded our entire country of the tradition of protests and activism that is central to the success of our democracy. There are those who react to this movement negatively, and it is important to remember that these reactions are only a reflection of people’s insecurities, guilt and irrational fears. For it is in the Black Live Matter movement that we find our conscience.
It is in these four woman that we see the future. So many dismiss young people as being apathetic, selfish and shallow, but they are no more so than adults. These four women, like many of the young people I have worked with throughout my life, prove these assumptions wrong. Like these women, you have the potential to see things adults refuse to acknowledge, and say things adults don’t want, but need to hear. These woman and you are important and we need your strength to improve our society.
If these four black women, with the limitations of their age, lack of white privilege, and society’s lack of positive expectations, can put together these amazing protests, what excuse do the rest of us have?
We as adults have no excuse and if we do not take action against injustice this year, we are letting you down. 2016 was a difficult year but the work of Braye, Byrd, Lewis, and Wint, showed us that we can do better. And we will do better, I promise.
Love,
Dad
*****
Check out these articles for more information on these protests:
How Four Teenage GirlsOrganized This Week’sHuge Silent Protest by Bettina Chang from Chicago Magazine
Teen Activists Shut Down Chicago Streets With Peaceful Black Lives Matter Protest by Eval Lewis from Teen Vogue
You have come to understand that there are things that you cannot do until you are older. Yes, when you are older, you can drive, you will be able to use the stove and you can get a tattoo like Maui (we might have to see about that last one). However, there are things that you don't have to wait until adulthood to do. You don't have to wait to have a possible impact on the lives of people around you, you don't have to wait to fight for the rights of others and you don't have to wait to change the world.
I've been reflecting on people in the past year who have inspired me to be a better person and a better dad to you. There's Bayley who proved that being kind and working hard bring success and joy to others. Sgt. Hawkins reminded me that it takes bravery to be oneself. Kate McKinnon helped me laugh but also cry while Dan Savage taught me how to work through tragedy and show me a way forward through understanding and embracing differences.
President Obama proved that real men fight for the rights of woman and are feminists. Lin-Manuel Miranda continued to create amazing art that helped me understanding that the values of anti-racism, diversity and inclusion must be at the heart of all that we do in order for our lives to be meaningful, beautiful and inspiring. Michelle Obama revealed all of who she was, reminding me of the power of words to both humiliate and inspire. Asma Khalid brought understanding and thoughtfulness into a political world that showed far too much hate and intolerance. And Secretary Hillary Clinton inspired millions to fight and continue to work for a vision of America where we all celebrate all of the facets of your identity.
More than all of these amazing people, there is a group of four whose actions touched me more deeply, brought me more pride, and inspired me with more hope than any other people or group of people this year: Natalie Braye, Sophia Byrd, Eva Lewis, and Maxine Wint, members of the Black Lives Matter movement.
 |
| Photo: Colin Boyle, Chicago Magazine |
The founders of the Black Lives Matter movement, Alicia Garza, Patrisse Cullors and Opal Tometi are to be admired for their contributions and continued work. It is their commitment to social justice that reminded our entire country of the tradition of protests and activism that is central to the success of our democracy. There are those who react to this movement negatively, and it is important to remember that these reactions are only a reflection of people’s insecurities, guilt and irrational fears. For it is in the Black Live Matter movement that we find our conscience.
It is in these four woman that we see the future. So many dismiss young people as being apathetic, selfish and shallow, but they are no more so than adults. These four women, like many of the young people I have worked with throughout my life, prove these assumptions wrong. Like these women, you have the potential to see things adults refuse to acknowledge, and say things adults don’t want, but need to hear. These woman and you are important and we need your strength to improve our society.
If these four black women, with the limitations of their age, lack of white privilege, and society’s lack of positive expectations, can put together these amazing protests, what excuse do the rest of us have?
We as adults have no excuse and if we do not take action against injustice this year, we are letting you down. 2016 was a difficult year but the work of Braye, Byrd, Lewis, and Wint, showed us that we can do better. And we will do better, I promise.
Love,
Dad
*****
Check out these articles for more information on these protests:
How Four Teenage GirlsOrganized This Week’sHuge Silent Protest by Bettina Chang from Chicago Magazine
Teen Activists Shut Down Chicago Streets With Peaceful Black Lives Matter Protest by Eval Lewis from Teen Vogue
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