Monday, July 17, 2017

Parenthood: Week 213 – What’s fun about age 4?

Ollie has firming transitioned in my mind to being a 4-year old. While this change was gradual, it has taken until the past couple weeks for me to really see what is different and unique about this age.

My time with Ollie as a parent seems more focused on helping him learn how to be with the world around him. When he was a toddler, there were conversations about taking turns, but they didn’t go very deep because he was often satisfied with parallel play, which isn’t the case anymore. When Ollie’s verbal skills were first beginning to develop, we didn’t focus on what Ollie said and how he said words and phrases. Now we are teaching him explicitly how to use words to utilize social norms and self-advocate. He reached beyond the layer of differentiated between a dog and cat to understanding that there are different types of dogs.

We are moving past exposing Ollie to books to explicitly helping him learn how to read and draw letters. We aren’t being too pedantic, but as his awareness of the English language grows, it’s important that we help him interact with English in deeper and more meaningful ways. Ollie enjoys this for the most part like when we were in an elevator today and told him to find the letter “m” for the main floor. He found it after a couple seconds and enthusiastically pressed the button.

There are some parts of this work like doing handwriting worksheets that he doesn’t love, but it’s good for him to do the work. While I don’t want to make him do things he doesn’t like, it’s important that he is pushed to challenge himself, which sometimes means he has to do things he doesn’t like to do. This isn’t anything new. He didn’t like taking the bottle initially when he was a baby, but I taught him how to do that (which I explained in this post) and he was better for working through that process.

Ollie’s more advanced ability to understand the past and the present means that we can better use the past to bring him comfort and the future to motivate him to move forward. Along with this comes more stalling tactics, but overall this awareness helps him see that the important interconnections between the people and events in his past, present and future, that makes relationships and experiences more memorable and meaningful.

What is most fascinating and most rewarding at this age is helping Ollie work through and understand his own emotions and the feelings of other people.  Ashe experiences the world and feels things in deeper and more complicated ways, helping him work through these nuances is more challenging but very rewarding.

Ollie is still my special little guy.  The one who wants to make people smile, who sometimes is hesitant to jump in until he figures things out, and who is fascinated by the wonders of the world.  While the facets of his personality have not changed, the way these parts of himself are expressed continue to evolve.

I've loved every age, and developmental stage of Ollie's life.  Four feels different, but after having gone through each stage, it's a challenge I'm excited to face.  As hard as each stage has been, each one has brought me and my son closer together helping me know my son and myself and grow together in our relationship as father and son.

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