Parenthood: Week 217 – The Week Away

Dear Ollie,

It’s so great to be back at home with you. Last week, we were apart for almost the whole week and that was hard. You had a great time with mom and had a lot of fun with your friends, but I know that you missed me as I missed you.

You demonstrated that your maturity in the way that you reacted to our discussions about me being away and how well you managed your feelings when I wasn’t there with you. You are an amazing, wonderful little person and it makes me feel proud and brings me comfort in the fact that you can find joy in life without me.

I told you that I was away learning with other teachers about how we can work together as teachers to help people be more kind to each other. That really was what my time away from you was about.

Last week, I traveled to San Mateo, California to attend the Equity and Inclusion Institute at Nueva School. We worked from Monday through Thursday focusing on topics related to diversity, equity, and inclusion. We discussed race, social justice, racial identity development, systems of oppression, healing and self-care, school culture, and other issues. You may not recognize these topics, but we have already begun talking about these topics as you have come to know yourself.

More than anything else, what made the institute meaningful were the other people who attended. There were people who identified in many different ways.  There were people who just like you had parents who identified as being members of two different racial groups. They had their challenges growing up and still do, but they were so happy. These people work hard every day to make the world a better place for everyone but especially people like you. In their eyes, I saw your future and it was beautiful, full of love, optimism, and service.

This experience develops the work I’m doing at my school, and it supports the development of myself as your father. I’m not done with this work. I’m still working on knowing and loving myself. As I develop my skills as a teacher to address issues of diversity, equity and inclusion in my classroom and help other teachers do the same, I am becoming a better father for you and your little brother.

Sometimes we have to travel and be away from those we love to do this work, to learn and to grow. That’s hard to understand, but know that I wouldn’t have gone away if I didn’t think that it wouldn’t have made your life and our world a better place.

We were asked to bring something to inspire us and grounds us.  So I brought a picture of you. Your very existence is an amazing example of the love and progress our society has made.  When the morning is dark, your warm hug and bright smile in the morning motivates me to get out of bed and when the world feels hopeless, your spirit gives me the strength to stand up and continue the work.

Love, Dad