Parenthood: 244 - Evolving Into Playdates

Playdates We have been blessed to have a group of friends that extended out of a breast-feeding support group that Diana goes to at a local hospital. This group of people have kids who are Ollie’s age. Some have moved away, many have had a second child. These parents have become close friends, and these children have grown up with Ollie. Having support for from people in an older generation is great, but having people who are going through the exactly same thing you are at the exactly same time is unique, validating, and wonderful.

At first, getting together was more for the adults than the kids. While it was cute to see the babies roll around with each other, especially in the early stages, the babies didn’t even realize that there were other babies in the room.

As the children got older, we watched the children begin to play with each other. At first it was only with close supervision. Later, we could sit on a park bench and watch the children play on playground and not have to actively help them up a ladder, or down a slide.

Then came the realization that Ollie cared about having peers around when he played. Once upon a time he didn’t want or care if other kids his age were around to play with him. It was a transition from caring about who he shared an experience with as much or more than the experience itself. While he still liked to play with me and Diana it was clear that his peers were taking a more important part in his life as playmates.

This felt sad, knowing the challenges of relationships and friendships that Ollie was entering, but it made me happy watching his awareness grow, and watching the joy that only comes from hanging out with people in your peer group.

Welcome to the world of the playdate.

Yesterday, one of Ollies friends came over from that breast-support friendship group. Her mom and dad came over too. I made waffles, we caught up, and the kids played. They played around in the back yard in the snow, while the mom and dad of Ollie’s friend sat inside with me watching them from the warmth of our den. I had two friends to chat with,, and Ollie got some quality time with a friend he has known his whole life.

Was this a playdate, or us as adults hanging out with our kids playing? Maybe it’s a little of column A and a little of column B, and maybe the semantics aren’t really important here.

I know that not all playdates are with other parents that are close friends. We’ve already had “playdates” in which we had to deal with our kids misbehaving or getting into arguments. It’s not always all good. There will also be a time when playdates are more drop off situation (which has already started to happen).

Right now in our lives, our playdates are as much Ollie as they are for us. This may change, and that’s fine. So, I’m be grateful for this special time for all of us, enjoy the moments, and watch our kids play in the presence of good friends, who feel like family.