I find myself at the end of year 9, feeling less like an ending, but more like a pause. The to do list isn’t done, work to do this summer is already requiring my attention, and I’m not feeling any sense of closure. Part of it is that even though students are done with school, I’m not done with them as I still have grades to complete that are due next week. Maybe, another part of it is that as much as I want to do be done, part of me doesn’t want to let go.
It was a great year overall, but like any experience, or any meaningful endeavor, this year was complicated. I was able to do right and do so well for some of my student, and many of the teachers in my department. I also know that there were those students who I didn’t do enough for and some teachers that I worked with that I didn’t support as much as I wanted. However, I’m not filled with regret because I know I did the best with the time that I was given. I think we can wish we could have done more, while acknowledging that in reality, we really couldn’t have.
It was a year when I thought about power. I talked explicitly and openly with my students my power as a teacher being less significant and weaker than the power they held as students to support, inspire and work for and with each others. It was a message that at first felt uncomfortable to say but resonated with my 3rd graders as much as my 8th graders.
It was a year with a challenging 8th grade class that I never gave up on, and learned to accept them and embrace their flaws. We never got to creating that classroom atmosphere which I usually reach with my 8th graders but it ended up being okay. Rallying around the music, with only one song out of eight written by a cis-gender straight white men, we looked at the lack of diversity in the concert-band world and did something about it, in a small but meaningful way.
It was a year in which I adding physical work in every single of my classes to help them settle their brains and their bodies and teach my students to self-regulate. Stretching, tense-release exercises, and breathing gave my students the tools to actively help myself settle and be present in class as it did for my students. Together we took the time to come to a place, ready to work and be with and for each other, which I often found I needed as much as my students did.
It was the year that I came back to the 5th grade Lorado Taft retreat after missing this trip last year because of the birth of my second child. The time away from the trip made my cherish the time even more with my students. I valued the moments, the challenges, and the opportunity to make new teachers feel included in this wonderful tradition.
And it was a year where my greatest success as a leader was helping others succeed. I stepped back more than I stepped forward creating opportunities for others who more often succeeded than failed because of the faith I had in them and the freedom I allowed them to enjoy. If leadership is more about what we can do for others than for ourselves, than my time I spent at school brought me to a new level of leadership that allowed me step back with pride and watch those I serve as a leader succeed.
It was a school year when the work challenged me, but also enriched me as a human being. There’s more work to be done, but that’s one reason I love it so much. It’s the end of a chapter, not the end of the book, and I’m excited to face the upcoming blank page with optimism and faith.
No comments:
Post a Comment