“Well my time went so quicklyOllie turned 6 years old a couple weeks ago. That means I’ve officially been a parent for six years. Other parents warned me that “it” all goes by so quickly, and it really does.
I went lickety-splickly out to my old '55
As I drove away slowly, feeling so holy
God knows, I was feeling alive.”
- Tom Waits
I’ve understood for most of my life even though time is a constant, even pulse that never changes, our perceptions of time is constantly changing. This came from my experience with music. A boring song could make five minutes last forever, and a great performance that I participated in could feel like it’s over in seconds. I’m aware of time during most of my day and I’m constantly reflection on how certain passages of time feel. Time is just one of those things that is on my mind.
The passage of time with children is marked by incredible outwards physical changes that reflects even more astounding mental and emotional development. Looking back at pictures of Ollie as a baby, and looking at him now, intellectually I know it’s the same kids, but the changes are really hard for me to fully comprehend.
Objectively, looking at the science of biology, Ollie changed far more than I did in the last six years, but I also changed during this period of time. The change inside of myself over the past six years was only made meaningful and more significant because Ollie was in my life.
When I think about how I’ve changed and what Ollie’s presence in my life has meant to me, I can’t help but think how much my life would not have changed if I never became a parent. Would things be the same? Would I be living in the same condo, with the same lifestyle? I don’t know. I think something would have happened in my life be, or maybe I would have become complacent or frustrated with life. It’s hard to know.
Life isn’t about one thing. Different events intersect with each other to create situations for us to change as humans. However, it’s undeniable that parenthood for the past 6 years has intersected with every single part of my life.
I know that parenthood has made me more empathetic to other parents and children. I know that parenthood has made me put my career in perspective, and it’s important, it’s just a job. I know that parenthood has forced me to reflect on all of the facets of my own identity which has led to growth, and I know that my life feels more full than at any other point in my life. I like that I’ve changed in these past 6 years and grown along with Ollie, and I’m excited that the challenges and joys of parenthood will continue to help me better understand the world and myself.
In the past 6 years, Ollie has already given me more than I could ever give him. I hope that he is grateful to me for all that I’ve done for me, but more than that I hope he knows how grateful I am for the better person he has continues to help me become.
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