It’s the one thing guys have left.
Traditional markers of masculinity have been socially acceptable for women to take on as expressions of their identity. Women can wear pants, have tattoos, have short haircuts, participate on the high wrestling team, play football, be sports fans, love whiskey, and find other women sexually attractive. There’s a lot of judgement and resistance for women to do all of these “manly,” things and more that I didn’t state here. However, many of these things are no longer signs of being a “tom boy,” they are just things that women do as well as men…and women are excelling at many of these things doing them better than men.
It is important to note that this does not mean that the patriarchy isn’t firmly in power in almost every aspect of society. While women can wear pants, have a short haircut, and drink beer, they still face many limitations in business for example, because of institutional sexism.
The one thing that men have left as expression of masculinity, that women do not embrace is facial hair. Male facial hair and beards are on the rise in popularity. My theory is that because in this time where the false dichotomy between masculinity and femininity is beginning to break down, men need something to hang on to. Facial hair is one thing men still got that is clearly manly as other markers of what it means to be main down collapse under the pressure of progress.
I am not asserting that men with facial hair are holding back feminism, or that growing a beard is somehow anti-women. What I am asserting is that some men are searching for a new masculine identity, and facial hair is helping. For some facial hair has nothing to do with the changing waves of gender roles. However ,it is undeniable that there is something going on here with the rise of bushy beards in our society.
This is one reason why for the past two weeks I’ve grown out my facial hair. I’m curious about what this means to me as a man. Does it make me feel more manly? Will it make me feel older? What is this thing that some men are so obsessed with, and other so strongly identify with as part of their gender expression?
Mixed in with these wondering is racism.
I have been told all my life by East Asian people (China, Japan, Taiwan, Vietnam, Korea etc), non-Asian people, and popular culture that East Asian men do not grow facial hair well, and should not bother trying. The argument is that is comes in too patchy and most likely you will end up with “Fu Manchu.” It’s really messed up that both East Asian and non-Asians alike use a horrible racist character that played on the worst of Asian stereotype (oh, and so much yellow-face) to describe East Asian male facial hair.
This is why I’ve NEVER gone more than two days without shaving since puberty.
Guys brag about facial hair, discuss it as a topic, and it symbolizes so many different things. I remember singing a Russian song “Salvation Is Created,” in college. The director wanted us to sing with a darker tone. He told us to think of ourselves being Russian in the cold, dark, winter singing this song, while stroking our thick beards. The facial hair aspect was a visualization used to get us to sing with a more manly tone. So beards = being strong and masculine, and East Asian men are told not to grow beards…and we are also stereotyped as being less sexual, less muscular, having smaller genitalia, and being more submissive. The message that I received to not grow facial hair, because I couldn’t, was just one more way that society emasculated East Asian men.
This sucks, and feels horrible.
I’m growing out I’m trimming up as a hair on the chin, little soul patch and a mustache. When I look in mirror and I don’t know what to think. It looks different, it doesn’t feel right, but I’m not sure why.
The standard of beauty across the world is white. Skin lightening creams are really popular in African countries, and all across Asia, people die their hair brown or blond and get plastic surgery to look more Caucasian. It’s not a big jump of logic to conclude that the standard of what male facial hair should look like follows the same pattern.
Good facial hair is based on Caucasian styles of facial hair. A Chinese person can dress white, but a Chinese person can’t make their facial hair look like a Norwegian’s beard. I can’t grow a beard and look like Thor. The fact that my facial hair cannot reach that standard is expression of being less than. I probably judge my facial hair largely based on Caucasian standards of beauty, so what would happen if I somehow based my facial hair on something different?
I’ve found many images of East Asian guys with facial hair, and a lot of them look different than what many white guys look like with mustaches. It’s patchier, but at the same time it can really suave. I don’t know what looks good, and I’m doubting my instincts because I know they are mixed with racist messaging. It makes me really sad to realize how much this has affected the way I view something as seemingly inconsequential as facial hair. What else am I seeing through this racist lens about myself?
So I don’t know what to do. I’m thinking I’ll shave it off, but I’m not sure. That feels like giving up. I feel I want to keep it to explore what all of this means, but I’m not enjoying the mental dissonance that happens every time I look in the mirror and are reminded about the racism inside of myself, and how the world continues to view Asian men.
Like with many things, racism, puts us in a lose/lose situation. So we just make a choice, feel the pain, breathe deeply, then hold our heads up high and keep our eyes on the prize.
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