“Ethan, do you want more swing?”I wasn’t sure how long I had been pushing my children on the swings in our backyard. I knew that at least three songs had past that I was playing off of my iPhone through a speaker balancing on a tree stump.
“More!”
“Ollie, do you want to take a break?”
“MORE SWING!!”
It was Sunday morning and I had the boys to myself. Diana was teaching her last Sunday morning enrichment class for gifted students. She had been teaching this course for a couple weeks, which gave me the opportunity to have some daddy time with the boys.
Some Sundays with the boys went really well. I would get them out of the house to go to a play area or a park and we’d have a great time. There were other times that did not go so well, like when I took them to a store with toys and a meltdown ensued as I refused to by toys for them.
Days when I felt less motivated and didn’t get them out of the house in general didn’t go so well. Yes, sleeping in is nice, but the price that I pay for sleeping in is that the mornings are more hectic, and it’s harder to get them fed, ready for the day and get myself ready for the day. Most of the time the boys would let me do one of these three things in peaces: eat breakfast, go to the bathroom, or get dressed. If I pushed myself out of bed earlier, and had a plan, things almost always went smoother.
Having a relaxing Sunday morning at home has never been that relaxing.
Yesterday, I did have a plan. I got up one the early side, and got Ethan eating some snacks earlier so I could get breakfast on the table for everyone. I got them changed and got myself ready and we headed to the backyard.
Ollie on recent neighborhood bike rides kept crashing into leaf piles while we walking Buffy. This was entertaining for him, but it delayed our walks with Buffy. And it was annoying to wait for him to pull his bike out of leaf piles over and over.
This morning was going to be different. I was going to give my boys control of their time. So much of our children’s lives, we determine when their schedule. We often cut our children off when they want to do more of something they are enjoying. On this morning I wanted things to be different.
After we racked up piles of leaves and jumped around in them, Ethan pointed to the swings. I racked a nice cushion of leaves underneath the swings so my Ollie could jump out of the swing into the pile, and then I pushed them and got them going.
In the past, at parks I’ve stopped my boys from doing certain activities like the swings or playing on slides because I was bored or we were out of time. Yesterday, I let them take the lead.
After about ten minutes of pushing them on the swing, I gave up keeping track of time, and I stopped asking if they were done or wanted a break. Next, I gave up on trying to lead them into a different activity. Finally, I pushed aside my boredom and focused on Ethan’s constant giggles and let his joy become my focus.
I starting noticing things that I had missed. The air was getting warmer. Ethan’s hands were gripping the chains of the swings with more strength then I had ever before. Ollie and Ethan swung in and out of sync in some kind of wonderful dance, and the leaves beneath my boots crackled gently as I shifted my weight.
Like awakening from a dream, Ollie said “Ok, I want a break,” and he jumped off. Soon after Ethan reached his arms up to signal that he was done as well. Shortly after that we headed back into the house and sense of time reentered my consciousness and we were back.
It's sometimes scary to let our children take charge, but sometimes when we let them lead us, it takes us to wonderful places, we never imagined.
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