When we told Ollie that we would be staying home from school, and would be doing school at home, he literally did a happy dance.
Ollie is six-years old. He is turnings seven-years old, next month. He cannot fully comprehend what is going on and the shear trauma, and human suffering that is going on in the world. Most adults cannot fully understand all that is going on. The science cannot fully explain all of the wonderings that bring anxiety to adults around the world. In addition to the evolving nature of this pandemic, the sitting President of the United States’ destructive words and actions is resulting in incredible mental trauma and is leading to unnecessary deaths.
Diana has done a great job explaining our new normal to Ollie. She explains things that in a calm, and clear way that he can understand. Ollie gets that the playgrounds are dirty, and that we need to have space away from other people. There is sadness at times, especially around the distance from my parents, a plane flight away in Seattle. However, his demonstrated mood overall has been generally positive.
It’s a blessing in some ways that Ollie cannot understand all that is going on in the world. This means that much of the anxiety that us adults are experiencing he doesn’t carry. That lack of knowledge also means that he doesn’t fully understand the importance of adjustments in our lives. Ollie doesn’t get why me and Diana at times are feel more stress and may need Ollie to do things. It feels like at times that we need him to step up, and try harder to help us and his brothers get through the day. Would I still have that feeling without the pandemic? I’m not sure. We have always encouraged Ollie to be more independent, and take on bigger roles in his family as his is getting older. All of this feels different in a way that I can’t quite articulate.
I’m really proud of how Ollie has been handling this period of that time that we’ve been at home. He’s shown great growth academically, and more often than not he gets along with his brothers. There are tough moments when we are overwhelmed by his younger brothers, he almost never gives me push back, when we ask him to wait. I’m trying really hard to make sure that we don’t take this for granted and find one on one time.
Lucas and Ethan need to be cuddled, and so does Ollie. The difference is that Ollie doesn’t demand cuddles in the same way that his brothers do. It is tough among the crying, the diapers, but it’s important. Yes, he’s the big brother, but he’s not that big.
Some day Ollie will understand what he lived through during this time in his life. However, right now I just need Ollie to be a kid, to laugh, to grow, to be silly, and see the wonder in the world.
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