I just watched the videos of peaceful protestors in Washington D.C. get fired upon by with tear gas, rubber bullets, and flash bangs because trump wanted to walk over to a church and do a photo-op. I saw this on phone as I was browsing around while giving my son a bath. I didn’t have time really research all of what had happened or even process any of this because I was on, and needed to get my children through their bedtime routine.
That’s been this whole past week. Attempting to process all that going on in the world, while staying focused on taking care of children. Keep in mind, I got three little one. It’s at least a part-time job if not more that me and Diana put into caring for our sons every day. It’s feeding, dressing, laundry, cleaning, and educating. Yes, there are many wonderful moments that are stress-revilers, like when we went to the beach last weekend, but there’s a lot of this that is work. It takes a lot of mental energy from both of us to keep moving forward, and when there horrendous traumatizing events in our country, it’s even harder.
My sons have no idea what’s going on. Lucas is a couple months old, he was born in December. He has learning how to crawl! This is really exciting, but we are his world. Ethan is two years old and like most toddlers, he is very self-centered. He knows that there is different skin color and hair color in the world, but he has no idea about racism, and cannot grasp the concept of oppression. Then there’s Ollie, who has just recently turned seven years old. We've made efforts to raise him through an anti-racist philosophy, however I’m not going to talk about what is going with him right now, while it lays in my mind unprocessed.
The events have been an important reminder that the anti-racist work at home needs to continue. We’ve been working our way through movies since we’ve been quarantined half an hour at a time. It hit me this past week that every single of these almost twenty films was written and directed by white people. So, for the last three days we watched My Neighbor Totoro. It was the first film Ollie has seen that was written and directed by people who were Asian with characters that were all Asian. This was a joyful thing, and really important to broaden his perspective beyond what is white in film.
Decentralizing white voices in my house for three nights through one movie was something that I felt l could do with my children. It also made feel proud that one of Ethan’s favorite books right now The Big Bed has all Black characters. It’s a cute book about a girl convincing her dad that he has no place in his bed because she wants to co-sleep with her mom, which is basically Ethan’s dream come true, though it’s probably co-sleeping with me.
We all have to do what we feel like we can handle. If all you can do right now is hug your children a little bit longer, that's okay, that helps teach. Love of a parents helps children develop self-love, which is a powerful tool against racism. Don't forget, love will always be enough.
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