The worldwide pandemic turned our world upside down. If felt like everything changed in our personal life, our jobs, and in our lifestyle. With uncertainty, anxiety, and lack of direction, and knowledge we strove ahead, one week at a time, one day at a time and in the difficult moments, one hour at a time.
Now we find ourselves in an unprecedented time in our country. Racial tensions have once again boiled over and Black citizens who have been here before are being met by allies willing to fight, and willing to stand up against police brutality and anti-Black racism. Corporations are taking stands, and the people are being awoken the truth of our racist past and racist present. More of us than not are trying to figure out the best way to make we don’t have a racist future.
These are really tough times. There is so much going on. Every day there’s good news, and there’s horrendous news. While curves seem to flattening in many places cases of Covid-19 are spiking. Yes, more people than ever before are painfully aware of the murder of Black Americans by policemen while the whole world is watching, and the murders continue.
It’s not getting any better for Asian-Americans. The number of hate crimes directed against Asian-Americans continue to rise.
With all of this going on, life as a parent continues. Nothing was taken away from our work as parents to give us space to deal and process all of these things. It just piled on top of what was an already full plate of the emotional and the physical work of parenting. There are times when I looked at friends and colleagues who did not have children, and envied their ability to sleep in, binge watch television shows, and enjoy drunken zoom calls. However, those moments past.
The last thing I do before I go to sleep is kiss my family goodnight. I have found myself lately the last one to sleep. I kiss Ollie, Lucas, Ethan, Buffy, and then finally Diana. In the dark, I feel all of their presence, and hear the quiet breathing of my family, and I know in my heart that all of this is right.
My families very existence is an afront to all of those who would deny the pandemic, who would say that “all lives matter.” Our work, our relationships, and our family resists all of the bigotry, hate, ignorance, and racism with our love and kindness. All that we do for our children is helping them become citizens full of empathy and love so they will have the tools to resist and fight against the oppression.
When I didn’t that video, I thought of my children and pressed play. If I faced the horror, I would be better able to help my children eventually face it as well. When I’m tired of the work and it seems like everything is moving too slowly, I know that even the smallest amounts of progress will help my children. When I can’t find optimism in the sadness, I see hope in my children’s eyes.
I simply couldn’t do any of this without them.
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