This King's Speech – Part 4

When I was a child, I didn't really know how to talk about my speech impediment. Honestly, as an adult, I'm really sure how to talk about it.

So, when my peers would ask me about speech therapy or how I talked, I didn't always know what to say.

My speech therapy occurred in my school during the school day. Sometimes it happened during reading or math class. I remember it sometimes bleeding over to recess time, though I didn't mind missing a little recess for this work. Kids would ask me why I was leaving class or coming to recess late, telling them that I had speech therapy. Most kids had no idea what I was talking about, and if they would ask more questions, I would just tell them that my speech teacher helps me with my "s" sounds.

The more challenging moment was when my peers would comment or ask me about my speech impediment.

I remember some kids mocking me for my speech impediment. They would try to imitate the way I talked. It was hurtful and awkward. There were moments in school when I would forget that I had a speech impediment, and I would let the thoughts rolling around in my brain come up, and then someone would mock me, and then I would stop talking and pull back into my shell.

Hurtful and confusing in a different way was when my peers with no negative intention would ask me if I talked the way that I did because I had an accent.

I have never been ashamed of my parents' accent, but I didn't think I had one. Even at a young age, I was fed the idea that people with accents, especially Asian accents, were somehow inferior. On the other hand, people talked about some European accents are attractive or cute.

I never remember hearing someone say that about an Asian accent.

I would respond to that question that I didn't have an accent, but then I wouldn't know what else to say. Would it help to say that I had a speech impediment? Is this someone how better than having an accent? I mean, admitting that I had an accent is something that most people could comprehend more easily. My discomfort probably had a racial aspect. A Caucasian child with a speech impediment probably wouldn't be asked if they had an accent as I did.

Later in life, when I had more confidence in my speech, my mouth caught up with the speed of my brain so dishing out a comeback at a quick pace was no problem. People mocking me in college rarely got away unscathed, but it was different when I was a child.

We rely so much on talking for social interaction, and when peers perceived me as lacking in this way and I was called out for it, I couldn't really reply well with weak speaking skills.

I just had to take it.

At times it was hard, but it didn't beat me down because knew that I could do something they couldn't. I may not have felt comfortable talking in front of them, but my other voice, my music, I had no problem showing the world.