Year 12 – Week 2: What I Need

This year I’ve been much more deliberate in how I structure lessons. For the first couple of weeks, I’m planning on basically doing the same lesson with some slight variations.

My students haven’t had music in a music classroom for a year and a half. So I felt that I needed to establish a level of comfort and routine in this space. Students spend so much time and energy at the beginning of the school year figuring out power dynamics and unspoken rules. This work is difficult and taxing, which is why so many children at the beginning of the school year come home drained and exhausted.

With an atypical year, with masks and social distancing in place, students need a feeling of routine and predictability to comfort them while navigating a school. The stresses and anxiety of the world are felt by our students from their parents and society as a whole. Children are strong, but they are also venerable, and they are suffering. Some of this trauma we can see and address, but much of it will not come until years from now.

So they need structures to bring them comfort.

And so do I.

At the end of my first full week of teaching, I felt better than I thought I did. The week went by quickly. Generally, I felt prepared throughout the week. However, it has become clear that I need the structure I built into my lessons as much as my students do.

I am teaching in three different classrooms, learning my  new schedule, and teaching, 7th grade, which  I haven’t taught in over a decade. There is significant uncertainty around performances and events. New faculty and administrators encourage me to do the joyful work of getting to know new people and require me to evolve my working style.

I sit at my desk during my prep time, checking my schedule every five minutes, unsure when my next class is starting. There are moments I sit silent, not moving, not sure what to do next, overwhelmed by my work. It’s comforting to have a routine to lean on during my classes, as much else feels unsettled.

Sometimes what our students need the most is precisely what we need as teachers. When things are so difficult for students and teachers, we need to seek out things in class that make us all feel more connected, more seen, and more valued.

This starts with a clear lesson structure, which lowers students' anxiety and gives me the space to focus more on who I am teaching than what I am teaching. 

What do I need as a teacher?  I will ponder this question deeper as I work with my students and continue to do for myself as I do for my students.