Every single thing we do with our children involves risk. There are risks in getting your children vaccinated. There are risks in letting your child play in a playground, and there are risks every time you put your child in a car and drive them somewhere. We can do things to mitigate risks, like getting better car seats and driving the speed limit, but it is impossible to get rid of all risks in pretty much everything that your child does.
As parents, we can become petrified by certain risks and restrict our children's activities, or we can learn to accept a level of risk, and try to live our lives for and with our children with optimism and adventure. I do not feel the risk of concussion is worth the benefits of my children playing certain sports, so they don't play those sports. Other parents may see the risks as worth it for their children to participate in these sports, and that's fine. Every parent is different in looking at risks and balancing them against the benefits.
When you are a new parent, and you hold a newborn baby, they seem so small and so fragile. You want them to have the best of everything so that they are safe and healthy. Companies that make baby products are very aware of this mindset. They are very good at getting inside their parents' minds and preying upon their insecurities. If you aren't convinced, check out the baby bottle aisle in a store or search for baby bottles on Amazon. The amount of gimmicks and products that make unsubstantiated claims is absurd.
When you combine how companies exploit parental insecurities with all that society does to tear down and oppress parents, you get a rough situation here. We have doctors who don't correctly attend to maternal care, partners and friends who gaslight mothers who are suffering from postpartum depression, inadequate maternity leave, unavailable childcare, and a sexist and patriarchal society that puts unrealistic expectations on mothers and lets fathers get away with doing the bare minimum in childcare. With all of this going on, many parental insecurities become tension between partners and friends. Instead of supporting each other, people get into unproductive and unnecessary arguments over issues breastfeeding and formula feeding, instead of supportive conversations.
On top of every single decision, parents disagree with each other, and we've had to make decisions about risks we are willing to take with COVID-19. As we experience the third summer of the COVID-19 pandemic, parents continue struggle to figure out what COVID-19 means to the risks in their children's lives. Yes, we have a vaccination for young children, but the data isn't great. In addition, masks are in much less usage, and while many people are still taking precautions regarding COVID-19, many are not. Unfortunately, the information around COVID-19 continues to be so poorly communicated, and so many lies around COVID-19 continue to be spread. So what do we do?
No parent follows all of the experts' recommendations regarding their child's safety. There's a level of cherry-picking all parents around what is best practice. At the same time, there are some things the vast majority of people believe are essential things we do to lessen the risk, like wearing a seatbelt that the law regulates. When neighboring states and cities have different recommendations and regulations for COVID-19 mitigations for children, parents have to do the best they can to determine what is reasonable.
We have to accept risks in life because risks are a feature of life, and we need to take reasonable precautions to lower risks in situations with our children. As we move forward, what is "reasonable" will continue to vary among parents. As with other disagreements, we have to rise above our insecurities and try to be kind to others we disagree with.
Parents, take a breath. You had an unreasonable load before the pandemic, and I know it got worse, and sometimes it doesn't seem to be getting better. Society had a chance to build back better for parents and children, and while improvements were made, many of the systemic issues negatively impacting parents and children remain. This is frustrating, and I wish I could give you more clarity on how to move forward. What I can give you is validation and empathy.
You are not alone in your struggle, and your efforts for your children is making a difference.
Sometimes you can't know if you are doing the right thing, but knowing a decision comes from the heart is felt as love even if that choice ends up being a mistake.
No comments:
Post a Comment