This year feels different because my children and I have different winter breaks. I’m off this week and next week, and they are off next week and the following week. So while I do like the idea of having time to prepare for the holiday while they are at school, later, it is not ideal when they are at home, and I’m at work.
There’s shopping, cooking, wrapping presents, and other chores unrelated to the holidays. Also there are at home things, that I put off because† I’m too busy to get to them because of stuff I have to do for work.
I find it really difficult to take care of home stuff when I’m at work. I am often able to make the time, but it’s hard to get into the “taking care of home stuff”-mind frame when I’m at work. Of course, when something needs to be done, I can make that happen, but like how bills pile up, home stuff has a way of doing that too.
The tricky thing is that you can’t put off most parenting until a later time. The last two weeks of work have been challenging and draining. I found myself at home with little patience and struggling to focus on my children’s needs.
My children themselves helped me get energized and focused. The sound of their giggles, the hugs, and simple acts of care like bathing them allowed me to leave work behind. Part of what you realize when you are home with children and you are drained is that you have to let things go, and sometimes this feels like a significant compromise, and other times, you realize that maybe you were being too rigid about certain things.
I remember going to a seminar years ago as an assistant teacher. One topic was how to recharge your batteries after you get home from work. Most people think you should do something less active like sit in front of the television or scroll through social media. The training leader said that what worked was doing simple, achievable tasks, like doing dishes. It’s kind of like physical exercise. If you are tired, sometimes making yourself more tired through exercise helps you sleep better and, in turn, will make you less tired.
This advice to take when all you want to do is hide when you get home, and all you see is the tantrums and the fights from children who are also tired. Sometimes this means you turn on the television to make dinner, or dinner can be a frozen pizza. Making things work when you don’t have a lot left means something has to give.
I’m still trying to figure out this balancing act between work and parenting. It gets better and worse, and in the moments when it feels right, something inevitably throws it out of whack. The struggle is a good thing. It’s a sign that my life is dynamic and that I’m invested in my work and my children. In this tension, there is the struggle that brings meaning that purpose to my life.
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