Graceland by Paul Simon

"Graceland" live performance in Zaimbabwe
"Graceland" live performance with Willie Nelson

People often say that life is a journey. We travel through the events in our life like a car on a road trip, sometimes stopping, often hitting bumps in the road but always better for the experience and stronger because of the bumps (or is it humps?).

It is interesting to think of life as a journey since most of our lives consist of journeys that we take every day. They can be as elaborate as a vacation to Tahiti or as simple as a visit to the grocery store. People undertake these journeys for a variety of reasons, at times it’s for fun and other times it’s just another chore. However, sometimes there is something deeper involved.

Paul Simon recorded most of his album Graceland in South Africa melding African folk and popular music into his music creating a unique and refreshing fusion of art. Simon felt it strange to name an album focused on his experience in South Africa after an American cultural monument but he eventually embraced the title track of the album. Many critics and fans consider Graceland one of Simon’s greatest albums and the title track one of his finest songs.

“Graceland” isn’t a song that tells you how to feel. Instead of painting with broad strokes of human feelings like happiness or sadness, Simon mixes the more obvious colors of emotion like an abstract painting inviting us to contemplate and reflect the shades between the colors.

Simon begins the song describing the drive to Graceland, Elvis Presley’s Memphis home. When looking out the window of a moving car the images of the world take on motion and depth. As they move past our eyes they almost becomes a blur of color and light which the percussion and guitars paint as we hear Simon contemplate his journey to Graceland.

In the chorus, Simon describes Graceland as a religious experience. The visitors are “poorboys and pilgrims” and end this section stating, “I’ve reason to be believe we both will be received in Graceland.” Calling the visitors “pilgrims’ implies the idea of a religious pilgrimage to the holy land Jerusalem. Though it may be sacrilegious to think of visiting the home of a long dead rock singer as being a religious experience, for many people it approaches that level of importance.

Simon’s statement that he has reason that he will be “received” in Graceland brings to mind the idea of being “received in Heaven.” The belief of Graceland as being a place that accepts and welcomes journeymen is in stark contrast of the rejection that Simon goes on to describe in this song.

She comes back to tell me she's gone,
As if I didn't know that
As if I didn't know my own bed,
As if I'd never noticed,
The way she brushed her hair from her forehead,
And she said losing love
Is like a window in your heart,
Everybody sees you're blown apart,
Everybody sees the wind blow.

There is pain in this rejection. He feels that she tells him something in a way that does not acknowledge his involved in the relationship and how much he really cared for her, “as if I’d never noticed, the way she brushed her hair from her forehead.” The description of losing love as being something that you cannot hide, something that everybody sees is not so much about the reality of the situation but how one feels after being rejected. People feel open and torn apart when they are hurt. It’s like the whole world is involved in witnessing the rejection and pain involved. It hurts so much how can other people not notice? In some ways we want people to notice our pain but the reality of the fact is that most people do not see what we are feeling as we cannot really see the wind blow.

As Simon journeys to Graceland, he struggles with the reality of his situation. In the end of the song, he makes a statement explaining his understanding of what this journey means.

And I maybe obliged to defend every love every ending
Or maybe there's no obligations now, maybe I've a reason to believe
We all will be received in Graceland

We are obliged to do only what we chose to feel obliged to do. Obligation is not a fact but a feeling. If Simon believes that he is obligated to defend himself, then Graceland is truly a place of salvation where Simon will be received regardless of sin. At the same time if he has no obligations, he is free to go on the journey and be accepted as free man. It is embracing this lack of understanding and ambiguity Simon is speaking to all of us who through life are never truly sure of how to deal with our past and what the destination of our journeys truly mean.

One of these days, I will visit Graceland. I don’t know exactly why I want to go there, I just know that it’s important. I feel drawn to the legend of Elvis. I want to experience the south and live through the history of the land. I want to feel excitement of a journey who’s conclusion is uncertain to a place that I do have reason to believe I will be received.

Kokomo by The Beach Boys

The plan this week was to comment on songs that were about places I wanted to visit. One of the first songs that came to mind was “Africa” by Toto. I’ve never been to Africa, but one of these days I’d love to visit to experience that continent. I researched “Africa,” and did some analysis and sat down a couple days ago to begin writing about this song. This is what I came up with:

“There is nothing African about “Africa.” The words don’t really talk about the continent so much as the idea of the continent. There isn’t anything authentically African about the music elements in this song (and no, even though it looks like he’s playing on African drums in the video, he is clearly playing a standard drum set in the recording). Toto, the band doesn’t even have any African-American band members and seriously, the lead singer mispronounces, Kilimanjaro. It’s ‘Kiliman- jar-ro’ like a jar of honey, not ‘Kiliman-jair-ro’ like a chair of honey. . geez.’”

After writing this paragraph, I stopped and kind of shocked at the negativity in my introduction. The mission on this blog is to celebrate what is great about music, not bash music. Concerned that I had missed something about “Africa,” I called up my brother Ed, who introduced me to this song in high school.

Me: Dude, so what’s good about “Africa” by Toto
Ed: Nothing man. That song isn’t very good, it’s recorded by a bunch of studio musicians who never made it. [Laura, Ed’s wife starts signing “Africa” in the background.”]
Me: didn’t you arrange this piece and perform it when you were in the high school jazz choir?
Ed: No, I didn’t arrange it, but we didn’t perform it and it was awful.
Me: I guess, I’ll bag that idea, I’m doing songs about places I want to visit for my next week of posts, any ideas?
Ed: Yes, Kokomo.

Seeing how my brother has rarely steered me wrong, let’s talk about “Kokomo”!!

The common joke about the Beach Boy’s song “Kokomo,” it takes its name from Kokomo, Indiana, which is about 50 miles north of Indianapolis. As funny as this is, the truth is the Beach Boys got the name from a poolside bar in the Holiday Isle resort in Islamorada, one of the islands of the Florida Keys (third bar listed on this page).

It’s understandable that people would think that the Beach Boys were talking more about an island rather than a bar because all of the other places listed in the opening of the song and during the chorus are islands, not bars (for a song that’s about relaxing, that’s a lot of islands to travel to). Though the song is misleading, thinking of Kokomo as a poolside bar makes sense and even though it doesn’t seem as appealing as a Caribbean island, it’s a lot more appealing than a city in Indiana which according to my wife who went there for a journalism convention, isn’t exactly paradise.

Now that we’ve cleared up one of the common misconceptions of the song, let’s start up some news ones: “Kokomo” is not only a tribute to the magical paradise in the Florida Keys and the Caribbean but it’s also a glorification of marijuana smoking.

The first verse is straightforward describing a beach scene, people sunbathing, tropical drinks, and falling in love with the assistance of a steel drum band. Fantastic, beautiful imagery, a place I definitely want to visit, especially after this miserable winter we just finished here in Chicago.

The Beach Boys start the second verse continuing the perfect Caribbean day that takes a slightly different turn than you expect.

Well put out to sea
And well perfect our chemistry
By and by we’ll defy a little bit of gravity

Going out on boats great and perfecting our “chemistry.”? That’s a little cheesy but clever and I appreciate the tongue in cheek way of describing a developing relationship, but then there’s the next line, “defy a little bit a gravity”? Ok this doesn’t necessarily read as “getting high” but it seems to imply it. I’ll give the song the benefit of the doubt and assume for a moment it’s about the feeling of freedom you get from love.

If you don’t know what “afternoon delight” means, I’ll let the Starland Vocal Band, help you out with this on. Some drinks and a “Dreamy look” ah, they are in love . . . wait a sec, “contact high”?!? I’m not the most savvy person about drug-lingo, so I consulted the urban dictionary.

contact high: Getting high by being around someone who is currently smoking some sort of drug such as weed. From inhaling the smoke, you also get high without actually smoking anything.

Wait a sec, my bad, it’s a ”tropical contact high” so maybe it’s about feeling good just being in the Caribbean. The thing is even if the second verse is not about smoking marijuana, they are at least comparing the Kokomo experience to getting high. Maybe they really were inspired by an experience Kokomo, Indiana in which they had to get high in order to enjoy their time in Indiana (now, I’m not Indiana bashing, just thinking up theories).

I love the Beach Boys. They are one of the greatest American rock bands of all time. Their music in the 1960s captured teenage love and idealism better than any other popular artist I can think of. Their musical invention driven by Brian Wilson challenged what was though of as popular music setting a precedent for groups like the Beatles and later Radiohead to explore the possibilities of popular music.

Does “Kokomo” speak from the teenage soul” No, does it stretch the conception of what is pop music? Well, no, though the use of steel drums in pop music is unusual. However, this song is fun, infectious, a little silly, and completely joyful. It’s about the fantasy of the being on a beach, similar to Margaritaville, but without the sobering up in the end of that song (link to post).

Sometimes, we all want to get away from it all. “Kokomo” reminds us of not only that but the feeling of paradise. The Beach Boys beautiful put together different musical elements that bring out the feeling of a warm ocean breeze under a beautiful blue sky.

The great thing about “Kokomo” is that it works on multiple levels. If this song does not do that for you on tropical paradise level, you can always laugh about the town in Indiana, the Beach Boys wanting to get high and chemistry, ah yeah. . . chemistry.

Like A Prayer by Madonna

"Like A Prayer" Music video
"Like A Prayer" Live performance

My family has belongs to a Buddhist temple in Taiwan. In the main room of the temple, there are little shrines, maybe an inch tall and half an inch wide, which like tiles, cover the walls and the pillars. Inside each of these little shrines in someone’s name and in one of the shrines on a pillar is my name and every day the nuns in this temple pray for the people whose names make up the interior of the temple.

Last time, I visited the temple I walked into the temple and my mother introduced me, they went straight to the spot where I was in the wall, which they knew by heart since regularly prayed for me. Every day, when I wake up in the morning and slide on a necklace, a red string with a pendant that depicts Guan Yin, a central female Buddhist figure and I think of the nuns across the world in Taiwan who pray for me.

I’m not a religious man, in the “organized religion” sense. My parents do not belong to any church and I didn’t go to church regularly as a kid. However, I do feel that I am religious. I have delved deep into Buddhism, which acts as my spiritual center and I’ve made a strong effort to understand and know Christianity.

It is through this lens, that I hear “Like A Prayer” by Madonna. Released in 1989 on the album of the same title, “Like A Prayer” was widely criticized. The music video for “Like A Prayer” featured a field burning crosses, an attempted rape scene, police racial discrimination, religious miracles (crying statues, stigmata), a statue of a saint coming to life (which Madonna proceeds to make-out with), and murder. People criticized Madonna for the use of religious imagery (some of which including the fields burning crosses, a symbol used by the Ku Klux Klan, were understandably disturbing). Pepsi who had an endorsement deal with Madonna dropped her and the use of “Like A Prayer” from there ad campaign after Pepsi executives viewed the video. What is surprising is that the song itself did not seem to offend, which in some ways had more potential to be offensive than the music video.

“When you call my name its like a little prayer, I’m down on my knees, I want to take you there.”

This is the central line in “Like A Prayer” that Madonna repeats throughout the song. Literally, the line says that when you call my name it sounds like you are praying. This affects me in such a way that I get on my knees and want to take you “there.”

From my understanding people aren’t suppose to pray for frivolous things. Prayer is reserved for things that are beyond our materialistic wants, things that are close to the heart. Being in someone’s prayers is an honor, it means that you are one of the most important things in that persons life so Madonna’s first line “when you call my name, it’s like a little prayer” speaks to how much devotion and love she hears in her love’s voice.

If someone is speaking to you in a way that is so close to the heart that it sounds like praying, it would make you feel extremely honored. Therefore, you would logically make want to reciprocate that feeling get down on your knees as well and pray for them wanting to take that person to the same feeling.

Madonna blurs this literal meaning with the implication of comparing spiritual ecstasy with sexual ecstasy. If you interpret “there” as a state of physical euphoria than the line “when you call my name its like a little prayer, I’m down on my knees, I want to take you there” takes on a different message. Lines later in this song “your voice can take me there” enforce this layer of meaning.

Take away any thought of what this songs means and then listen to this song, because even though Madonna is playing around with religious and sexual implications the songs itself is a simply a fusion of Gospel and Pop celebrating how great someone can make you feel which may be closer to what Madonna’s intention.

The song starts with angry guitar riff, cut off with a bang like the closing of a door. Madonna has a solemn opening like a morning prayer and then the song kicks into high gear. After the first chorus, the verse fixates on the sound of “your voice” and the idea of someone can take Madonna away to a point that its like she is losing control. The second verse compares the subject to a child and a dream. The gospel choir enters which Madonna follows with a journey through darkness before a celebrative iteration of chorus.

At the least offensive, Madonna is comparing the love that she shares with someone to the feeling that she gets from being in church and singing along with a Gospel choir praising God. At it’s most offensives, Madonna is using religious allusions and musical artifacts like Gospel music to sing about sex.

Madonna wasn’t the first person to blur the lines between religion and sex in music. Ray Charles more than twenty years earlier started to take gospel melodies and sing them with sexual lyrics which caused people to be quite upset, like the couple in the trailer for the Ray (1 minute 14 seconds in).

When I listen to “Like A Prayer” it’s not about sex, it’s about the feeling that you get listening to great, joyous music. The song takes the listener from darkness to light combining the frenetic energy of 1980s music with the soul of a gospel choir. I don’t know much about religious ecstasy. I’ve never felt it or really know anyone who has, but the idea that we can find a transcendent level of joy in our lives, in each other not through sexual activities but meaningful and profound human connections is a beautiful idea and I know I’ve been lucky enough to feel these kinds of connections in my life.

“Like A Prayer” triumphant statement that begs to be questioned but cannot be helped but be enjoyed. It reminds me of great times with friends, the euphoric freedom that can only come through dancing with friends and spiritual joy that comes from knowing that somebody other there is praying for me.

Angels by Robbie Williams

"Angels" live performance

America can be a stubborn country. We are one of the only countries who doesn’t use the metric system instead we prefer our “standard” system which clearly makes more sense (16 1/2 feet make a rod. . . .right and seriously how many of you know how many rods are in a mile?). Soccer or “football” is the most popular sport in everywhere but in the United States (which could partially be because of our sports casters).

Then there is Robbie Williams, one of the most popular solo pop artists in the world, who has sold over 55 million records worldwide. However, in America, it’s a different story.

Now this isn’t for a lack of trying. In 1999, after releasing two best-selling albums in England (and the rest of the world), he compiled songs from an American albu, He Ego Has Landed. The first single from this album “Millennium” was only a moderate success, reaching number 72 on the billboard top 100 charts and his second single “Angels” did better reaching number 41 on the charts. The Ego Has Landed ended up selling half a million copies, which was not a substantial success compared to the last album that he released in the United Kingdom which sold almost three million copies.

Britney Spears, DMX, Garth Brooks and the Backstreet Boys dominated the United States charts in 1999 and maybe there just wasn’t space in the market for Robbie. Maybe Capitol records didn’t properly promote Robbie’s album and maybe for the same inexplicable reasons that soccer never seems to catch on in America, Robbie didn’t either.

Robbie’s music, though not embraced by America is some of the finest popular music in our time. It ranges from quirky and funny to personal and reflective. There is no better example of what is so great about everything that is Robbie than “Angels” the second single Robbie released in America. A pop song not about romantic love or partying, it’s about a deeper and more powerful force, the faith and the love that we hold that sustains us.

The song opens contemplating the existence of angels and their power over us. Robbie sings about being told about angels and concludes the verse stating, “when I feel that love is dead, I’m loving angels instead.” When love fails us and we feel alone, there’s something greater out there to believe in. These “angels” are people in our lives that we know loves us unconditionally or a religious entity that shows its love through mysterious ways.

The lyrics in the chorus express all that the angel brings: love despite being right or wrong and love that will be there no matter where the “waterfall” of life takes us. The chorus has a glow to it. When Robbie sings, “I know that life won’t break me” it feels like comforting smile. It’s not cocky, or overconfident, it’s instead a feeling of faith and hope that you only get from being around someone who genuinely feel that the world is a beautiful place.

In the second verse, Robbie sings about pain describing it as going down a one-way street. This is followed by a statement of faith, “I look above and I know I’ll always be blessed with love.” The way that melody is shorter on “I look above” without held notes reflects a quiet contemplation. The melody fills out in “I know I’ll always be blessed” which is followed by “blessed with love” sung with quiet assurance. The way that this melody is structured puts an emphasis on the conviction of feeling loved reflecting the fact that it is knowing that we are loved, above the feeling of love itself that brings us faith.

If someone asked me to give an example of what a great pop male singing voice sounds, I would give them a Robbie Williams song. His voice is accessible, clear and expressive. He voice is a fusion of pop music genres that sounds organic and effortless. There is a range between the almost spoken verses and the long held notes in the chorus. His voice is pop without being cheesy, with a level of depth, maturity and strength that is rarely heard in pop music today.

The idea of “angels” comes from Christianity and there are a couple allusions to the Christian faith in the song. In the first verse, “salvation lets their winds unfold” illustrates the idea of God creating angels to save us. The second verse opens talking about how looking “above” (to God) renews our faith and also talks about creation as angels “breathe flesh to my bones.”

This song does not come across as overtly Christian. Part of this has to do with the facts that the idea of angels has become such a central part of our culture that films like Angels In The Outfield feature angels that are more feel mythical than religious. In addition “Angels “ focuses on faith in love, not Christ or Christianity itself, which is why it appeals to us in such a deep and powerful way.

We all have angels in our lives. For me, it’s not so much a religious thing. I didn’t going to church every Sunday growing up so the angels in my life are people. These are my family and close friends who I can always turn to no matter what life throws at me. However, there’s another angel that we all have in our lives, ourselves.

The love we have for who we are is the most sustaining and empowering love in our lives. When people say, “I love you,” they are telling us not only how they feel but how we should feel about ourselves. It is through this love that angels exist and our souls can take flight.

Turn! Turn! Turn! (to Everything There is a Season) by The Byrds

"Turn! Turn! Turn!” the Byrds live performance
"Turn! Turn! Turn!” Roger McGuin & Bruce Springsteen live performance

I was named after a trash can.

Well that’s the joke but it’s half-true. People often ask me how my parent’s chose my first name, "Kingsley." The short answer is that my dad saw the name on a office product and named me after a company which now specializes in depositories www.kingsley.com (and well yes, they do make trash cans but mostly they specialize in drops boxes).

The real answer is about the immigrant experience. When people immigrate from Asia, most of the time they chose American first names, use the middle name for their Chinese name (mine is Chin-Jer) and use their original last name. Choosing the American name for immigrants often comes from taking a name that sounds like their Chinese name. For example my dads full Chinese name is “Tang Bing-Yue” (in Chinese the order of names are: last, first then middle). My dad when he came to America took "Bing," (i.e. Bing Crosby) and my dad’s American name is Bing Yue Tang.

Now when my parent were trying to figure out an American names for my me and my borther they didn’t want to use a Christian derived name, since they were not Christian. Most American names have Christian origins except for the British Royal names like "Edward" my brother’s first name and "Kingsley" which is derived the from the Scottish clan name "Kinsella."

My parents played along with the Christian traditions which had made their way into the American culture like Christmas and Easter which we celebrated non-religiously. It seemed to me growing up that Christianity was something for other people that I didn't need to know about.

Growing up listening to the local oldies station with my dad "Turn! Turn! Turn!" was a song that I knew well and even in middle school I fancied myself an expert on popular music. So when one of my friends spoke about his excitement about this song because the lyrics were from the Bible, well, it brought together two worlds: the popular music world that I loved and the Christian world, which I had been ignoring.

Since then I have made an effort to get to know Christianity, not because I wanted to convert or go to church every Sunday, I just didn't want to be left out. I wanted to know about the religion inspired some of the most important and transcendent art in history.

In studying Christianity in American culture, I have seen interpretations of the religion that I strongly disagree with. From Bob Jones universities policy banning interracial marriage on its campus which was in effect until it was taken off the books in 2000, to current arguments citing verses from the Bible to argue homosexuality as being a sinful lifestyle choice. Many people have insidiously distorted Christianity to serve their own agendas. This is not only annoying but infuriating because at its core, at its best Christianity is a hopeful religion and one of the truest expressions of all that is humanity and “Turn! Turn! Turn!” represents all of this in a beautiful and powerful way.

When Pete Seeger, one of the most influential American folk singers, used the words of Ecclesiastes 3:1 from the King James version of the Bible he was responding to his publisher who disliked his protest songs. Seeger responded that what protest songs “were the only songs he knew how to write" as he explains in this interview.



The two musicians at the end of this clip are Roger McGuinn and David Crosby who as members of the band the Bryds recorded “Turn! Turn! Turn!” and transformed it from an obscure folk song to an iconic song of the 1960s.

McGuinn describes how they added a “Beatle beat” and an counter-melody to use as an introduction but the Byrds did so much than that to the song. What is immediately striking about this song is the Roger McGuinn’s guitar. This song is one of the most famous uses of the 12-string Rickebacker guitar. This guitar features 6 pairs of strings, each pair tuned to the same note that corresponds to a stings on regular 6-string guitar. The bottom four pairs have the strings tuned in octaves on the same note while the top two pairs are tuned in the same octave. This creates a bright resonant sound, that sparkles like the light shining through oak trees leaves on a sunny day.



The guitar playing of McGuinn’s 12-string Rickebacker seems to turn and roll into itself enforcing the meaning of the lyrics. Watching McGuinn playing this song solo with his guitar up the creative and understated way that McGuinn moves through the chords and creates the sound of multiple guitars in becomes clear.

On top of this rolling guitar line are the vocals which alternate between unison singing on “to everything” to the gentle harmony behind the words “turn, turn, turn.” David Crosby, who later went on to further fame with Crosby, Stills and Nash provides the gentle high harmony which brings a comforting sense to the melody.

While the chorus has a sense of calmness and acceptance the verses express a feeling of urgency. With the turning of the earth and the cycle of life, thereis inevitable that all the things in the verses, both good and bad are happening and the purpose behind all of this is beyond are understanding.

Seeger added the last two lines of the final verse because he needed them to balance out the verse but in adding “a time for peace, I swear it’s not too late” he breaks the pattern. Every other line describes the good and the bad, a yin/yang relationship. The song mentions peace in the third verse but is preceded by war. However ending the last verse with peace alone is a statement that peace is coming and that we can’t give up.

“Turn! Turn! Turn!” may not be the greatest religious song ever written but it helped me understand what Christianity means to people. It showed me that Christianity is about embracing the human experience. It is knowing that everything, even the bad things, have a purpose and that in the end of all there is always hope because in life it is never to late embrace love over hate and embrace peace over war.

That’s not a bad bunch of ideas to be at the center of a culture, or a life.

My Life Would Suck Without You by Kelly Clarkson

“My Life Would Suck Without You” music video
"My Life Would Suck Without You” live performance
"My Life Would Suck Without You” acoustic live performance

The first entry I posted on this blog was four months ago and it seemed only fitting to celebrate my 60th post to go back to where it started, revisiting our favorite American Idol.

The following is a recent phone call I had with my brother Ed:

Me: dude, I’m so hyped for Kelly Clarkson’s new album that’s coming out tomorrow!
Ed: It’s going to be awesome.
Me: Yeah I wasn’t expecting the phrase “My Life Would Suck Without You” to work as a hook
Ed: I didn’t even know that was the name of the song until they said the name of the song on the radio.
Me: I’m totally going to buy this album at the store and not on itunes because I want to hold this thing in my hands.
Ed: I know what you mean, but Laura [Ed’s wife] isn’t too excited about the album
Me: Yeah, neither is Diana [my wife]

Laura and Diana understand that when my brother and I get fascinated with a piece of music they get to enjoy it along with us because my we will without fail play the album/song ad nauseam (well in my opinion ad AWESOME-EAM). For some reason they just aren’t as excited about the return of Kelly Clarkson to her pop music roots as my brother and I are.

What is so exciting is that Kelly is making a returning to what she does best. The album that she released Breakaway, which featured “Since U Been Gone,” was My December. Rolling Stone critic Jody Rosen described this album as a “declaration of independence, released over the reported objections of her label.” Rosen goes on to describe the album, “Its 13 gloomy songs, all co-composed by Clarkson, had scarcely a hook to wrap your ears around.” Clarkson’s new album Breakaway. However feature a couple strong songs with infectious hooks, which recapture the feeling of screaming along with “Since U Been Gone,” and one of those songs is “My Life Would Suck Without You.”

I know, “My Life Would Suck Without You” sounds like an awful title for a song, but it works. Once upon a time using the word “suck” was almost as bad as using a swear word. I remember my mom getting annoyed that my brother and I would use the term “suck” when we were in high school. Now, it’s not proper English but “suck” is used enough in our culture that I can honestly imagine saying “my life would suck without you” but more importantly I can believe it when Kelly singing these words.

With my background in music composition and my knowledge as a music teacher I’m often asked what comes first the melody or the lyrics. The answer is that it depends on the song. Sometimes it’s the words, sometimes it’s the music and other times they are composed simultaneously. “My Life Would Suck With You” started with the music as is explained by the one of the composers, Luke Gottwald in this video clip .

Just because the lyrics were written after the music doesn’t mean the song is any less legit. Paul McCartney wrote the melody for “Yesterday” using the nonsense phrases like “scrambled eggs” before writing the lyrics we know now.

Compared to the lyrics of “Since U Been Gone,” “My Life Would Suck Without You” is much more straightforward. The feelings involved in a break-up are a complex mix of regret, blame, denial and eventually acceptance. While the feeling of being with someone you love is singular, joyful and life-affirming. In some ways happiness is defined by the absence of complexity, a feeling that is free of emotional weight and the simple lyrics of “My Life Would Suck Without You” reflect this feeling.

The general idea of the lyrics is that there was a fight, he came back, she acknowledges that they are both at fault and that even though they are both a little dysfunctional, there lives are forever entwined. This reunion is not about apologies but acceptance. By coming back, making the effort to patch things up, the “you” character accepts the fact that Kelly was trying to pick a fight. Kelly acknowledges the things he said not with anger but with an understanding that they are both equally messed up.

Right after Kelly sings about them both having issues in the second verse, Kelly sings “anyways, I found out I’m nothing without you.” Finding a true friend is not about liking someone despite their faults but because of them. The way that Kelly acknowledges both of their “issues” and goes on to state how they should be together is a honest and heart-warming expression of love.

The musical landscape of this song with the bare guitar introduction, distorted synthesized background beats and almost dance club feeling of the chorus create a fresh and joyous sound. The song paces itself giving a break in the third verse “being with you is so dysfunctional,” letting the music naturally build back up to the chorus. This moment is tender as Kelly quietly sings “I really shouldn’t miss you, but I can’t let go.” She doesn’t know why they are drawn together as she sings in the chorus “forever united here somehow." This is something that she doesn’t understand logically and only feels. In this way, without using the word “love” she describes it perfectly as acceptance, understanding, and joy that feels like an impulse that cannot be denied.

When Kelly Clarkson performed “My Life Would Suck Without You,” on Good Morning America she talked about how much photo manipulation was involved in her cover photo. Moments like these are why I like Kelly Clarkson more than I ever have before. She is one of the most honest and real pop stars out there. Some people have criticized her for being fat, I view her as looking like one of my friend (not that my friends are fat, just that they don’t have ridiculous movie-star, super-model builds). Any criticism of the kind of music that she makes is ridiculous as she has never made any pretension to be anything but a pop star. I feel like if I met some celebrities, I would freak out and now know what to say to them. However, if I met Kelly Clarkson, I would have no problem chilling with her and talking.

Kelly, my life would not suck without you, but it is just a little bit more awesome because of the music you share with the world. I went to two stores to find your new CD, running not walking into the store to find it (part of the running part was that it was 20 degrees Fahrenheit outside and I didn’t feel like putting on my jacket). Running back to my car, ripping the package open sliding the CD into player and hearing your sing “My Life Would Suck Without You," the sun simply shone, just a little bit brighter.

Thank You for Being a Friend by Andrew Gold

“Golden Girls" opening credits
“Thank You For Being A Friend" Andrew Gold music video

I love watching television.

It’s not so much about sitting in front of the T.V. mindlessly zoned out flipping through channels for hours on end (which I have probably spent too much of my life doing). It's about the many moments watching shows with people in my life. Watching the first episode of American Idol from season 1 with a group my fraternity brothers was hilarious fun. Loving the subtle in-jokes and self-referential humor of The Simpsons with my brother is something I always enjoy. Elating in pure joy when Jim and Pam finally got together in The Office was a great moment I shared with my wife.

Then there’s watching television with my mom.

If you ask my mom how she learned to speak English and what American culture was truly about she will credit television shows. When she first came to America in the late 1970s the show that captured her imagination was I Love Lucy. Even though a Cuban with broken English and a red head from Oklahoma weren’t exactly the best examples of how to speak proper English, my mom learned the dynamics of the English language and the themes that define American culture.

I remember many afternoons, especially during the summer when my mom would stop whatever she was doing to watch I Love Lucy . The other show that I have clear memories of watching with my mom is The Golden Girls and oh my God, what a show that was: four old ladies sharing a house in Florida talking about sex (well, there were some other subtleties in the plot, but that was pretty much the main “thrust” of the show).

While we live in a time of reality shows and 24 hour cable channels, the 1980s were the glory days of the situation-comedy. Half-hour shows with a live studio audience which were defined by shows like I Love Lucy had widespread appeal in the 1980s with shows like Cheers and Family Ties.

The Golden Girls, which aired from 1985 to 1992, featured Beatrice Arthur as Dorothy Zbornak; Betty White as Rose Nylund; Rue McClanahan as Blanche Devereaux; and Estelle Getty as Sophia Petrillo, Dorothy's mother. Each woman had fully developed and intriguing back stories. Dorothy was recently divorced and sarcastic acting as the most reasonable voice in the house. Rose, a widow and my personal favorite character, was often seemed naive but every once in a while displayed a superior intelligence and insight into human heart. Blanche was basically, well, really horny, crass and constantly talked about sex. Then there is Sophia who was old and cranky but sometimes offered motherly guidance to the other woman in the house.

What is genius about this show is that the setting and actresses put across an image of innocents that we sometimes seem to have about the elderly. It is within this illusion that the show talked about topics like homosexuality, gun control, impotence, domestic violence, euthanasia, sexual abuse, senility, AIDs and many other relevant issues. Because of the age of these characters, they often lived these issues and talked about them in a frank and honest way, often resulting in hilarity (check out this scene when they are buying condoms or this great scene when they watch porn). Though, shocking to hear these topics talked about in such an open way, the fact that it was our grandmothers who were talking about this stuff, though disturbing, reflecting a maturity and perspective that comes from living a long life that reveals truths about issues that so often give us pause.

The theme song to The Golden Girls, “Thank You for Being a Friend” like so many great television theme songs became synonymous with the show. In the 1980s the theme song accompanied the opening credits which introduced the main characters and gave glimpses of the content of the episodes. The theme songs acted as emotional capsules, distilling the stories and themes into the show into one clear emotional statement. “Thank You For Being A Friend” really is everything that The Golden Girls is about.

Andrew Gold recorded “Thank You for Being a Friend” for this third album All This and Heaven Too in 1978. The song was a moderate success reaching #25 on the charts but it was when it by Cynthia Fee for The Golden Girls that the theme song got a second life.

The song starts with the hook, “Thank You for Being a Friend.” It works through the chorus until “and if you threw a party” in which the harmony changes to a darker minor feel. This section goes beyond merely thanking the friend but talks about a specific situation. It builds back up to the hook “Thank You for Being a Friend” and then the strings take over to a wrap up the theme song with a beautiful bow.

So that’s the version from the television show and Andrew Gold’s version goes on for another four minutes. The other four minutes are more of the same. The next verse talks about buying a car if needed (rhyming “lack” with Cadillac). The song ends talking about being friends through old age and also seeing each other after death.

All of meaningful relationships in our lives boil down to being friends including our relationships with our spouses, partners, siblings, parent and well of course, friends. “Thank You for Being a Friend” reminds us of how good it feels to have friends in our lives and how much the simple act of friendship really means.

"It's been an experiences I'll always keep close to my heart and that these are memories that I'll wrap myself in when the world gets cold, and I forget that there are people who are warm and loving."
-Dorothy saying goodbye on the final episode