You Can’t Hurry Love by The Supremes

If you ask me for advice on how to maintain a healthy relationship with someone you love, I have a couple of words of advice. Now I don’t think my relationship with my wife, Diana is the greatest thing EVER, but I am proud of the our relationship and the role we have play in each other lives. My experiences with Diana give me some perspective on what works and what doesn’t and I’m happy to pass on my thoughts subject.

Now if you ask me what’s the best way to find that special someone, I got nothing for you. Diana and I met her freshmen year (my junior year) at Northwestern University at marching band camp. Now marching band rehearsed Monday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday and most of the time we had football games on Saturdays. We were also in the Alice Millar Chapel Choir which rehearsed on Tuesday and Thursdays and performed every Sunday. So it wasn’t exactly a challenge for me to find time to get to know Diana. I literally saw her every single day.

Diana and I have absolutely no illusions about the sheer luck, happenstance, or fate if you will that brought us together. Most people are not as fortunate as Diana and I and “You Can’t Hurry Love” by Supremes gives the sage advice that I pass on to my friends whenever they ask me for help finding that special someone.



I love “You Can’t Hurry Love.” It’s hopeful, innocent and simply a joy. I get so happy listening and thinking about this song. On a musical level, I totally geek out more over Motown music than many other genres of music. Every time I listen to a song produced in the height of Motown I find something new to be amazed about. If you’ve read this blog for any amount of time you know how excited I get about music, but with Motown I just get me giddy with joy.

It opens with baseline and tambourine. Then the drums come in and when Diana Ross starts singing everything drops out except for a relaxed, and hip guitar line accompanied by the bass drum of the drum set playing the rhythm of the bass line. Building up the instruments you get interested, feel the grove and by dropping out instruments right when Diana enters, it draws you into her voice like she is whispering you a secret.

Then there’s the colors. Motown is all about using bright vibrant musical color combination. Diana’s voice in the chorus is doubled with muted trumpets that are slightly whiny and vibraphone, which gives a little pop the beginning of each note. This arrangement of sounds just adds a layer of light to the sound bringing out the melody in a subtle and beautiful way.

Diana isn’t the greatest singer of all time, but the Motown producers wrote songs that perfectly fit her voice. The way she accentuates the ending consonants of the words works even though outside of the context of this song sounds just weird. She singing about getting advice from her mom and her thin yet bright voice captures that youthful spirit that so many people connect with.

In there anything sweeter than when Diana sings “keeps on waiting, anticipating” and hesitates in the middle of the word “anticipating,” as we wait for the end of the word. It’s a small thing but it’s SO exciting. The creativity and expression, not only having great words but singing in a way that makes you understand the meaning even if you don’t know the language. It’s awesome.

When you’re down and about to give up on love, you can’t forget how great love can be and how wonderful the idea of love is. Hope begets hope. By thinking about how great love can be, it makes you want to believe that it exists even more.

You can’t make love happen, but that’s what makes it so great. Be patient it’ll come. Now when do find that person let me know. We’ll see what we can do to make that hope a reality.

Ruby Tuesday by The Rolling Stones

When The Beatles released “Yesterday” in 1965, pop ballads were unusual. However the success of Paul McCartney’s introspective masterpiece opened the doors for rock stars to show a different side of them which has become a standard practice. The following year, the Beatles continued recording slower songs like “In My Life,” a beautiful and affirming song of devotion.



That next year, the Rolling Stones released their most enduring ballad “Ruby Tuesday” and instead of reflecting on the life-affirming power of love, the Stones told the story of a groupie.



Comparisons between the Rolling Stones and the Beatles reveal much about the two groups. These groups reflected two sides of a coin, two perspectives on reality. Characterized more as bad boys, the Rolling Stones’ music had a darkness around it while the Beatles had a glow. While the Beatles for the most part reflected idealized views of love and life, the Rolling Stone described the darker realities of human emotion.

Starting with Mick Jagger’s voice at the beginning of the song with no introduction, “Ruby Tuesday” immediately draws you in. The sound of a cello, which was played by Richards and Wyman, and piano creates a barren and lonely musical landscape as Jagger sings ominous words “yesterday don’t matter if it’s gone.”

A recorder, played by Brian Jones (the only deceased member of the Rolling Stones) dances around adding a folk like touch to this song and the song blossoms open in the chorus.

Goodbye Ruby Tuesday,
Who could hang a name on you,
When you change with every new day,
Still I’m going to miss you.

Even though this is a girl that no one could figure out and seemed to change with every day, Jagger sings how he’s going to miss he which is why this song is so powerful. People come and go in life and most of these relationships are imperfect. Even though there are things that may annoy us about these people, we still miss them when they are gone.

Beautifully poetic and intriguing lines like “lose your dreams and you will lose your mind” make us pause. Jagger’s haunting voice filled with regret, foreboding and love forces us to listen. And the unique musical atmosphere of this song stays with us long after the song is over like the feeling a memory that you can’t remember.

The Job Interview

I thought the interview went well. We talked enthusiastically about my background, my intentions and who I was a teacher. I learned a lot about not only the positions but also the school. As I left the interview feeling proud of how I represented myself I hoped that I would be chosen for the second round of interviews.

It was exactly hope that made difficult when I found out later in the evening that “they are moving forward with other candidates.”

Hope is a tricky thing. If you don’t hope for something better you will attain anything in your life that is meaningful. However, if you hang on to hope, it sets you up for disappointment. Sometimes what you feel with hope unfulfilled is more than disappointing, sometimes it’s painful.

What do we do? Give up and be satisfied with out lives the way they are, never take a chance and never dream beyond our circumstance? Part of me admires people who can. That’s just not me.

Can you imagine working a job that doesn’t really challenge you, being in a marriage with a wife that doesn’t motivate you to be a better you, and living a life with friends who accept mediocrity in how you treat them? I can't.

Can you imagine not feeling that drive, that spark inside you that gives you the courage to face another day? You can’t.

It is exactly that spark that is my spirit. What feeds my spirit is looking for the sun beyond the clouds and even though sometimes the darkness in the sky seems impenetrable, We can’t stop searching.

Life is meaningless if you let that spirit die inside of you.

There are many different reasons that I can explain why I didn’t get to the second interview. Maybe I didn’t have the right experience, maybe the other candidates were simply a better fit or maybe my personality didn’t match the atmosphere of the school. I’ll never really know so I guess it’s best not to dwell on it.

As Joseph Campbell said, "The adventure you're ready for is the one you'll get." This job simply wasn't the right one for me. I feel lucky to have had the opportunity to had this interview and it was a great experience regardless of the results.

So on to the my next adventure. I’m not sure what it’s going to look like, but I hope, no I know it will be a great one.

Ms. Jackson by Outkast

There’s nothing easy about an unplanned pregnancy.

The recent season of “16 And Pregnant” has explored the struggles between young unmarried teens dealing with having a child out of wedlock. While the show focuses on the relationships between the teens, one of the most interesting of the show is the interaction between the teen father and the teen mom’s mother.

In episode 2, featuring Nikkole, her boyfriend Josh (who repeatedly broke up with her, to date other girls and then would get back with her) did not get along with Nikkole’s mom. In own the most shocking displays of immaturity and selfishness Josh got into a fight with Nikkole’s mom while she was in labor.

MTV's 16 and Pregnant - MTV Shows

There is something between a daughter and mother that a husband or boyfriend will never replace and never replicate. For most woman it’s essential that a man is on good terms with their mother.

For Josh, one of the first steps in cementing the break-up between him and Nikkole (besides the fact that he cheated on her soon after she gave birth) was his issues with Nikkole’s mom. If Josh ever wants to be part of Nikkole or his child’s life, the first step is apologizing to Nikkloe’s mother as Outkast attemps in “Ms. Jackson.”



“Ms. Jackson” is shockingly original. The song sets a man apologizing to his ex-girlfriend’s mother for how he treated her daughter. I’ve never heard a song breach this subject so directly and it’s musical landscape while drawing from many different influences is audacious, quirky and unique.

Drum beats are played in reverse throughout the song creating a sucking sound that awkwardly maintains a beat reflecting a tense and uneasy situation. The music paints the words in the songs sometimes with subtle hints like the piano line which plays the beginning of the “Wedding March” (the cliché “here comes the bride” melody). Other times it’s more in your face like in the second verse. Behind the words “you say it’s puppy love,” you can hear puppies barking and then immediately after with “we say it’s full grown” you can a grown dog roar. Musical touches like these add a surreal almost comical feeling that somehow seems to make the serious subject of this song that much more significant.

The rapping is so fast that it barely seems to fit in the beat. The velocity reflects a urgency from the protagonist to convince Ms. Jackson that he has changed. In the first verse, he says that he will pay for the bills and that he loves Ms. Jackson. While a custody battle is on the horizon he feels that his voice has not been heard and that he is unfairly being cut out of her life.

Within the flurry of words, there are profound statements: “You could plan a pretty picnic, but you can’t predict the weather,” “Forever never seems that long until you’ve grown.” It’s interesting how this rapid fire style of rapping forces your ear to engage. Yes, sometimes it’s hard to understand every word but the emotional message is clear and Outkast gives us times to breath (even though they don’t seem to need to) pausing the music for dramatic purposes, “Forever, ever?”

The last verse degenerates into anger as the protagonist address his “baby mama” directly.

Jealousy, infidelity, envy
Cheating to beating, envy and to the G they be the same thing,
So who you placing the blame on
You keep on singing the same song
Let bygones be bygones,
you can go on and get the on and your mama.

This song interestingly switches perspective almost as if the Ms. Jackson’s daughter is in the room and he finally addresses her directly. He spits out words with venom as he realizes that he he can only give so much.

"Ms. Jackson" is astounding song. The poetic rapping and original production creates a powerful the emotional statement of a frustrated father trying to reconcile with his "baby mama's mama."

Josh from 16 And Pregnant and the character in "Ms. Jackson" are two sides of the same coin. Next time feelings of conflict feelings on conflict arise between you and the mother of someone you love, pause, and think about whether it's worth it, because this is a coin that you do not in your pocket.

Easter Sermon from the Non-Christian

Okay, Jesus died on the cross. He rose from the dead a couple days later. He hung around for a little bit and went to heaven. Because of all of this we have Cadbury Eggs. Glory Hallelujah!!

As a dedicated Christeaster, I make sure to make it to my wife’s families’ Catholic Church twice a year, sometimes more (especially if my wife is being a Cantor). This year as I stood in the back of a crowded church, I started to wonder why there was only one woman in the entire congregation wearing an Easter bonnet and if there really was anything me as a non-Christian could get out of this holy day.

I didn’t really come up with much.

Then today at work one of my co-workers was telling me how she went to a funeral and watched a mother bury her son who died of cancer. The death had not been quick but rather long and painful. This was one of the instances were mercy came in death, not life.

The mother was inconsolable. As the people went outside into the cold and the wind she turned away from the casket. On this day when she buried her son, it was simply too much for her to watch her child be placed into the earth. This made me think.

The life of Christ is a story to me. I don’t believe that everything in the Bible is factually true. I agree that Jesus Christ is a real historic figure but as to his miracles and the circumstances of his death, resurrection and ascension . . . eh . . . I don’t personally believe that stuff. Regardless of your belief in Christ, the story of his life is amazing and is one of the most revealing and important reflections in our culture of the human condition.

Look death is scary. It is the ultimate unknown and the resurrection of Christ provides answers about the afterlife, proof that there is something beyond. It’s a story that I would love to believe. How wonderful would it be to known that if we do good we will get a reward, that there is some universal logic that balances our actions and our consequences?

One thing that I took exception to at the sermon I heard on Sunday was the idea that non-Christians are constantly looking for answers about the afterlife. I mean, I do wonder about it, but most of the time I just focus on being the best me that I can be when I am alive.

No one should have to bury his or her child. It’s a horrible, unimaginable prospect. Maybe there is comfort in the story of Easter that can help us get through these tough times, maybe not.

When my co-worker told me about the funeral something hit me deep down inside. Maybe it has to do with my age, or maybe it’s something deeper. Or maybe there is something in our own humanity that we all share.

Easter is one answer, one way to deal with the inevitable in our lives to make sense of it all. For those who believe the story, it’s the reality of humanity and for the rest of us it’s a reminder of the fears that tears us apart and the hope that binds us together.

Billy Elliot!

Billy Elliot! is the best new Broadway show that I’ve ever seen in the past ten years.

I haven’t seen every new Broadway show that’s out there but I saw Wicked and the Jersey Boys which had long and successful runs in Chicago, where I live. While seeing both of these shows were fantastic experiences, they didn’t really work for me.

As much as seeing witches fly in Wicked was awe-inspiring and as original the story is, the music is inconsistent. What’s disappointing is that the music sounds like “Broadway music” falling into this new modern musical genre of songs that are a little bit too long with words that simply aren’t that meaningful.

Jersey Boys featured beautifully performed and authentic 1960s pop music but totally side-stepped some important historical plot points, like how they stole most of their musical ideas from African-American performers. The best part of the show ended up being the fact that it becomes an oldies sing-along concert which while fun, is NOT what I’m looking for in a Broadway show. It would have been far more effective as a concert at Ravinia.

Billy Elliot! embraces what it means to be a musical, utilizing all of the artistic elements for one reason: to tell the story. The acting is direct and passionate. The set designs while not revolutionary skillfully creates Billy’s world. The music, brilliant composed by Elton John, adds depth and emotion while not drawing much attention to itself.

Then there’s the dancing.

I have never been impressed with dancing at a Broadway show and I’ve been to over a dozen shows. More often than not the dancing in shows feels like an afterthought, but in Billy Elliot! the dancing is breathtaking.

Check out the “angry dance” after Billy’s dad prevents him from perusing his dream and audition for the Royal Ballet School.



What you saw on the Tony Awards stage is exactly what I saw on stage. The brilliant use of the coal sign and the riot police shields perfectly represents how the conflict in Billy’s community is affecting his life.

Billy Eliot! is based on a film, which features an 11-year-old Jamie Bell giving one of the best child performances in film.



[the only reason this film is rated R is because of the use of swear words, otherwise it’s a PG film].

Elton John and company tell this story and takes the emotional beatsof the films and expanded them onto the stage. For example, here is the original “angry dance” from the film.



The film does things with the camera that you can’t do on stage, and there are things happening on stage that you simply can’t do in film. While it’s the same, it’s different. If you’ve seen the film, you can expect to feel the same emotional notes but in a completely different way.

If you haven’t seen the film, go rent it. It feels as good as the cheesy music in the trailer promises. It’s a great film, mature and smart (in some ways feels like a great sports films). If you’re a musical and you’re in Chicago you have to see Billy Elliot! C’mon, this show made me almost cry when Billy finally does a boy pirouette after weeks of practice.

There’s no greater compliment for a piece of art than to say that it makes you want to experience more art. Billy Eliot! not only makes you wish you could watch the whole musical all over again but it also makes you want to dance.

Suspicious Minds by Elvis Presley

Elvis Presley was the first great American rock star. He defined the teen idol, revolutionized rock music and left an everlasting impact on our culture. However, for a period he became irrelevant.

One of the first pop artists to expand into film (now a common occurrence), Elvis started out showing impressive range in “Love Me Tender.”



However his films quickly became jokes, the music he created which accompanied his film were no longer on the edge of rock’s development. Elvis, a man whose bottom half of his body was censored during television performances because of the suggestive ways his hips moved became about as threatening as the Jonas Brothers.

In 1969, Elvis decided he needed to make a change. He put together his legendary comeback special and jumped back into the studio. What emerged was From Elvis In Memphis, his first album not related to a film in eight years. It was country, gospel, soul, rock and most of it was Elvis. Distilled down to what made him change the world, Elvis gave us one last reminder of the power of his voice with his final number one hit before he died “Suspicious Minds.”



Like a great Motown song, the background instrumental and vocal singers are so well-crafted and full of soul, a monkey could record the lead vocal and this song would still sound awesome. The twirling guitar that opens song, the gliding strings lines, the pulsing horns in the second verse, the rolling bass line and the snap of the hi-hat rhythm all combine like ingredients in a stew. Every single piece can be easily separated and identified for their individual greatness but together they create a masterpiece of sounds and colors that doesn’t so much emote feeling but lives and breathes life.

The back-up sings act as a Greek chorus with the sounds of a gospel choir. They are haunting as they lead into the second chorus building up the exclamation “Yes I’m CRYING!! Ok, so I guess I was exaggerating a little bit, if a monkey did the lead vocals, this back-up singers would not save this song, but you get the point.

Elvis sings best when he’s in pain. The slight hiccup in his voice with the Shakira-like moan that he glides through the notes with are melodramatic but come across as genuine and heartfelt. His baritone has so much tone and depth, it’s like there’s a cathedral reverberating inside his body before his voice pours out of him. When Elvis sings “you can’t see the tears I feel I’m crying,” his voice slides down these pitches and even though his girlfriend can’t feel the tears he is crying, we can.

Emotionally “Suspicious Minds” sticks with us because it’s about something that we all struggle with in our lives, trust. When you trust someone you are taking a chance, but you need to take that chances or else you are destined for disappointment.

People act the way that we expect them to and if you believe that someone will betray your trust, chances are they will. Real love can only develop from believing that someone can be trusted and having that trust fulfilled. It’s not an exaggeration to be as torn as Elvis is when dealing with the way someone thinks.

How we perceive the people around us, shapes our interactions and “Suspicious Minds” reminds us how powerful and painful lack of faith can truly be.