Eulogy For My Grandfather

Last Saturday May 1st I attended my Grandfather's Funeral. Dr. Wan T. Tang was born in March 13, 1916 and April 22 at the age of 94 years old. He was a World War II veteran who worked with the Americans as a doctor and a translator. After the war he was a business man working in import and export companies and real estate. He is survived by five children, and eleven grandchildren. The following is the eulogy I gave at his service.

Welcome everyone. Thank you everyone for being here to honor our grandfather. We all traveled to be here, some near, some far but we’ve all taken time out of our lives to share this time together, and I know we are all grateful to each for the effort we have all made to be here. As sad I am on this day I can’t help but smile looking out at all of you and feeling the warmth that only comes from being together as a family.

I'd also like to thank everyone who has come up here and shared their thoughts about grandpa. Speaking at an occasion like this is a difficult thing to do . . . as I am fast discovering.

We take this time as a service of shared reflection. A time for us to think back on the man who shaped each of our lives. Through reflecting on this man, we see our own past, our present, our future.

My favorite memory of grandpa was the moment when Diana first met him. It was during a wedding reception we held in Seattle for our friends who were not at the Chicago wedding.

I have never seen anyone so overjoyed to meet Diana. In the same way that the quickest way into a mother’s heart is treat her children well, grandpa’s enthusiasm was a gestures of respect and love was not only to Diana but to me, embracing someone he had never met before simply because she was important to me.

Grandpa said “hello” and “nice to meet you” with a huge smile and muttered something in Mandarin. He gestured towards my mom to tell Diana what he said and my mom translated “you are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.”

I can’t really say, I don’t really know all of what his life means to me. I’m hopping that this weekend will help me figure some of that out. What I do is that I feel grateful for all that he gave, sad for the loss and apprehensive because I know from now on when the morning sun shines on me, it will be a slightly different color because he is no longer with us.

For the past week, I’ve asked myself: where do we go from here? How do we honor our grandfather? The best that I can figure out is that it’s in the choices we make every day demonstrating the values of loyalty, family and love that defined who he was and defines who we are. In this way, he will live forever in our memories, our souls and in our hearts.

Grandpa, I will always be proud to have known you.

Buffy SHEDS!! . . . well kind of . . .

The third question we almost always get when someone meets Buffy after "what's her name?" and "what kind of dog is she?" is "does your dog shed?"

The funniest part about this question is the fact that after I tell people that Buffy doesn’t shed, people often insists that she does. Okay, people first off, don't argue with me about my dog and second: just because a dog has long hair doesn't mean that it sheds!!!

The length of dog’s hair has nothing to do with the degree which dogs shed, neither does the size of the dog. While the breed of a dog is often an indicator of a dog's shedding tendencies some dogs buck the trend of their breed and shed in way that is not expected.

There are three kinds of dog shedding. There's dogs like Poodle mixes which many refer to as hypoallergenic.

First off there's no such things as a "hypoallergenic dog." When people are allergic to dogs often it's because of their saliva and dander (poo) as much as their fur. Hypoallergenic dogs do shed hair, you may not notice it because it's just not at the level of a Labrador.

That's the other extreme. Dogs like Labradors shed hair on a daily basis. Without constant brushing these dogs end up leaving impressions of their bodies in hair on furniture whenever they get up after lying down.

Finally there's dogs like Buffy who for the majority of the year don't shed at all and then once or twice a year they shed their undercoat. Buffy has two coats, longer fur and a shorter fur that lays closer to her skin and it's that fur that she sheds. Not all Shetland Sheepdogs like Buffy shed, but last week she started.

Buffy gets a daily brushing from Diana. Usually some time in the evening when we are chilling out watching television, Diana will scoop Buffy up in her lap and brush her. It takes 5 minutes at the most. After a brushing Diana will pull a small ball of hair out of the brush about the size of a quarter.

Yesterday was different however. After 10 minutes of brushing and repeatedly pulling hair out of the brush, Diana was left with a pile of hair and a relieved puppy (she didn’t really seem to care about the hair, she was just happy to be able to shake herself out).

A lot of people I talk to about dogs are very concerned dog shedding when thinking about getting a dog. If it’s an allergy issue first off get an allergy test. The one I did involved drawing some blood. They give you a number that corresponds to your level of dog allergy. If it’s below a certain number the symptoms will dissipate over time and if it’s above a certain number the symptoms will get worse and again. If it’s about keeping your house clean, well that’s has a lot to with size and if you do a good job of brushing even a high-shedding dog can be managed without too much work.

The main thing to keep in mind is that shedding really shouldn’t be the number one reason you chose a certain dog. The dogs temperament, personality and health really are more important at the end of the day.

Every once in a while especially when I’m wearing black I notice some of Buffy’s hair on my clothing. The funny thing is that at first I'm initially annoyed but after a second, I smile. Her hair is a reminder of puppy that I love and the small price I pay for sharing my life with Buffy.

Part Time Lover by Stevie Wonder

One of the reasons that I don't cheat on my wife, Diana, besides the whole "I love you her, I made a commitment to her as my wife and I would even want to be with another woman" is the fact that it would take too much effort. There's all the scheduling, erasing e-mails changing clothes, coming up with lies and having one more person to take care of.

I mean it's a lot of work.

Can you imagine doing this blind? Stevie Wonder, we know that you're a genius, an innovator of popular music and one of the most important and influence American musicians and song-writers. If you weren't blind you still would be admired for everything that you've accomplished but the fact that you did it all without the sense of sight makes me feel that much more inadequate. I mean it's bad enough that you're better at tennis than I am.



Okay, Stevie you really are a wonder, now you going to be all like "I'm such a genius that not only can I create amazing music but I can also successfully pull off an affair and have a 'part-time lover.' AND I can do it BLIND SUCKERS!!!"



"Part Time Lover" was one the biggest songs in 1985. It was the first song to be top four of Billboard charts at the same time: The Hot 100, R&B, Adult Contemporary and Dance. It may seem odd that song about cheating would be embraced so much by American culture. It's not so much a reflection of how much people accept cheating or participate in extra-martial affairs but this fun almost comical look at this subject in "Part Time Lover" is a way that we can deal with one of the most insidious, selfish and hurtful things someone can do.

In the first verse Stevie sings about using a one ring telephone call as a signal to let the other one know they made it safe at home. Then the next verse goes on to explain that he will flash the lights to let her know that this night he is free? So, the other person just happens to live across the way and will stay there and watch to see if the lights happen to flash? Wouldn’t the single ring phone call be a better signal?

Like early 1960s rocks songs about idealized teenage love, “Part Time Lover” is about the idealized situation of cheating on someone romanticizing about the plan and adventure of being undercover rather than the emotional consequences of betraying someone that you love. Now the song does have a twist in the end when someone comes to the door and Stevie realizes that his lover has a “part time lover.” He doesn’t seem overly distressed at this idea, it’s more of a “you get what you give” kind of response.

While many Motown artist floundered in the 1980s, Stevie Wonder transition with great success with the synthesized sounds of the time. Songs like “Part Time Lover” are great examples of the pop sensibility and musical reinvention that is characteristic of Stevie Wonder’s genius.

Stevie Wonder reflected American society. Like the way the songs he recorded in the late 1960s and early 1970s dealt with the Civil Rights movement, "Part Time Lover" is a response to peoples' questions about the dynamics of relationships in the 1980s. The one constant throughout all of his music is the sheer joy that expressed even with an issue like adultery.

Just look how happy he is to be grooving in a trench coat and hat in the video. He makes the idea of one of the most despicable and reprehensible actions seem like fun. Wow, this man really is a wonder.

Photograph by Ringo Starr

“Photographs are for people who can’t remember.”
- Ryan Bingham (played by George Clooney) from Up In The Air

Once upon a time I would agree with that statement, somewhere around early high school when I got tired of how my mom was constantly taking photos of our family. I hated stopping whatever we were doing every five seconds when we were on vacations to take a photo.

I eventually got over this but some of this attitude carried over to college. I have some photos mostly from formal dances when there was a professional photographer hired, but I didn’t really take any of my own.

I recently found a CD full of photos from my college years taken by one of my fraternity brothers and I kind of regret not taking more photos. Looking back I’m glad that he took a second out of the craziness to capture the moments. I am so grateful that my mom took the time to take so many photos growing up.

I love photographs and in the past couple years I’m amazed at the moments that my wife and I have captured. From our first apartment to our wedding, our family, vacations and our dog. I love having photos for us to look back and reminisce.



“Photograph” by Ringo Starr, the drummer from the Beatles, captures the power of a still image. Written with George Harrison, “Photograph” is one of the Ringo’s most endearing and memorable songs from his solo career.

“Photograph” is a break-up song in which Ringo sings to his ex how much he misses her and can’t get over living life without her. Even though the song has a sad undertone it has a warm and nostalgic glow to it.

The melodies' coutures capture the feeling of looking at a photo and smiling. The photographs makes Ringo feel sad because he is remembering the great memories. This bittersweet feeling is worth the loss as it truly is better to have love and lost than to have never loved at all.

In 2002, one of Ringo’s best friends and fellow Beatles, George Harrison died. On stage next to G Dhani, Geroge’s son and surrounded by George’s musical family Ringo performed “Photograph” for his friend.


Ringo Starr "Photograph"Concert for George
Uploaded by chrisclement. - See the latest featured music videos.

As Ringo smiles throughout this song, it’s hard not to feel the sunlight shining through this song.

It’s in this performance that we realize that photographs aren’t for people who can’t remember but for people who want to remember. Yes, many things in our past are painful and we would rather forget these thing. However there are also joyously profound moments that sometimes leaves our minds and every once in a while a photograph brings those memories back.

Even though we often see photos of moments that we don’t remember they still give us a warm fuzzy feeling. Knowing that these moments happened brings up hope. If we had these great moments in the past, we're bound to have them in our future.

You’re So Vain by Carly Simon

Okay, one of the many cultural referential jokes is “Yeah, and you probably think this song is about you. . .” from the classic Carly Simon song and I’m getting tired of NO ONE understanding this joke. I mean it works SO well. For example:

Comment: Where’s the mirror? I can’t get my hair right! I think it’s messed up.
Response: Yeah, and you probably think this song is about you. . .

Comment: All these guys keep hitting on me, it’s so annoying!!
Response: Yeah, and you probably think this song is about you. . .

Comment: Mr. Tang, EVERYONE keeps making fun of me!!
Response: Yeah, and you probably think this song is about you. .

Well, maybe I shouldn’t use this line on my third grade students but anyways, this line is really useful to point out to people not only that they are being vain but also how self-centered they are acting.



“You’re So Vain” is a great song about a girl sticking it to a guy. It’s empowering, fun and has a great swagger to it. Released in 1972, this song captures the change in music from idealized teenage love to discussing more relevant and realistic issues in relationships along with groups like Fleetwood Mac.

In this song Carly tells off a guy and then points out he’s vain for thinking that this song is about him. Wait a sec, that doesn’t really make sense. . .

Oh God, Men, have you every had a conversation with a girl and just gotten hopelessly confused? “So you want me to do that, but you’re not asking me to do that, than why don’t you. . . what?!?”

I’m starting to get that feeling. . .

This song is clearly about someone and Carly chastises the guy she is singing to for thinking it’s about him. So who is Carly singing about? I mean she uses the “you” pronoun both in the chorus and verse, is she just messing with our heads? Ladies, am I missing something because of my male perspective? It’s like she’s making the guy feel bad for all of the crap that the stuff he has pulled and then when he feels bad she says “oh, AND by the way, if you think this is about you, you’re REALLY VAIN!!!.”

So now he feels bad for being a bad dude and on top of that, he’s confused about who she is actually talking about. And if you didn’t think this song was about you than you’re a jerk of a guy for not realizing what Carly is talking about.

ARRGH!!!!

[whimper] . . . I. . . don’t. . . get . . . it. . . . .

This song doesn’t seem as funny anymore.

. . . sigh. . .

Gov. Crist Takes A Stand

Last week Florida Governor Crist vetoed Senate Bill 6 which was the first bill in the country to use a "merit based system" to determine teacher salary (follow the link for the news story). This bill based teacher salary on student performance as opposed to advanced degrees and years in the classroom. This bill also took away the possibility of tenure for new teachers.

There is idea that the only thing a public school teacher has to do to reach tenure is to show up for a couple years, fill out some paperwork. Then they will get tenure and never be able to be fired. Because of a lack of a merit based pay scale teachers in America are not motivated to do a good job which is why we have problems in our education system.

Let me clarify a couple things. If you are teacher who has tenure, you can be fired. Teachers on tenure tracks often have different evaluations than non-tenured teachers but they do have them and if tenured teachers slip in the job performance they can be fired. I've seen it happen.

As a non-tenured teacher every year I have more formal and informal evaluations than friends of mine who work in engineering, sales, publishing and non-profit charity work. The only people I know who are evaluated as often as me are my friends who are graduate students.

Now these evaluations are usually done by a principal or at the high school level a department head. Before these observations a meeting occurs before hand in which the teacher and administrator discuss the lesson and things that the principal is looking for in the teacher's instruction. The administrator observes the teacher teach and then there is a debriefing meeting.

These evaluations mean something; they just aren't put away in a file. They are looked at when districts decided whether to rehire teachers and they do measure the quality of work that teachers do. This is why when people talk about a merit-based teacher salary system, I'm a litle puzzled because it actually exists. If you are doing a great job, you are asked to come back, and you get a raise. There's your merit pay. And if you don't do a fantastic job your contract is not renewed.

I know this for a fact because I have teachers friends who have been not had their contract renewed, who basically have been fired.

Here’s the thing, I agree that student performance should be considered when evaluating teachers but it shouldn’t be the only thing. For example, let’s say that all third graders should know their times tables. If a group of student’s doesn’t than the teachers pay is reduced. Yeah, this will make a lazy teacher work a little harder to get their kids to learn but what if a different teacher has a classroom in which two of the students are mentally retarded. A teacher working really hard with these students may only get these students to learn basic addition facts. In Florida’s plan there is no accommodation for taking these special needs students into account. That's not only unfair to teachers but also their students.

As of now how much test scores are considered in evaluation is up to the district and in all of the 5 districts that I student taught or worked in as a teacher have taken into account student test scores in evaluating teachers.

For me this isn’t about politics. Governor Crist made a decision that was logical and reasonable. He wants a bill that not only takes into account students with special needs but gives more independence to districts to evaluate teachers. And really is created more bureaucracy at the state level going to help schools at the local level?

Are there teachers out there who have mediocre principals that let them slide by doing horrible work? Yes and I’m sure these teachers are scared of being held accountable for what they do. But those teachers I believe are symptoms of mediocre administrators or principals who have unreasonable work loads. Think about it, if you go to a restaurants and the wait staff is incompetent, the manager is the one to blame, they hired them and set the expectations, same thing with a school.

I’ve never met a teacher who actually feels this way, who is against a merit-based system because they don’t want to work harder. We are just worried about its effect on the students and having an evaluation system that not only holds teachers accountable but also helps teachers improve as educators so that we can better serve our students.

Let It Be by The Beatles

“It will be all right, just let it be.”

These words told to Paul McCartney from his late mother in a dream inspired “Let It Be,” the title track from The Beatles final studio album.



In the ten short years that The Beatles were together they recorded songs that included every single pop genre of the time and predicted many to come in the future. From songs from musicals:



to hard rock:



The Beatles did it all. So it should come as no surprise that they would eventually do a gospel song. The Beatles had a lot to say about life but most of the time it was centered on around idealized teenage love. As the ban, matured deeper subjects broached like in “Hey Jude,” which was originally written in an attempt to reconcile Julian, John Lennon’s son when John and his first wife were getting a divorce.



“Let It Be” examines the way we live, the way we react and who we are. With a deliberate tempo and a simple but carefully crafted melody, McCartney sings a song of calm. He asks us not to ignore our problems but to take a moment and reflect. Sometimes we are so quick to want to fix something, to help the people around us sometimes we miss the truth, the reality that some problems don’t need to be fixed, sometimes our friends need to help themselves. Sometimes we need to let go..

Maybe this was a message from Paul to all the Beatles fans who would soon be dealing with the breakup of the most influential group in popular music or maybe this was a simple contemplation that helped McCartney deal with the inner turmoil in his own life.

Regardless “Let It Be” stands as a reminder sometimes the hardest thing to do in life is absolutely nothing. Often in life the most difficult situations that we face are completely out of our control. Whether it’s losing a job, breaking up with a boyfriend or dealing with the loss of a loved one there is some part of these situations, which are beyond our control.

While our head tells us that these changes are “for the best,” our heart yearns to change the situation, to take some action, to do something about it. And if we truly believe that things happen for a reason then all we need to do is to let it be.