The Luckiest by Ben Folds Five

Last Monday, Diana and I celebrated our second wedding anniversary. As we've been entering our third year in marriage I can’t help but feel lucky that I have found Diana and have her in my life.



“The Luckiest” by Ben Folds Five is about this wonder of luck. Though this song initially songs like adult contemporary schmaltz, the profoundly intimate, revealing and honest lyrics elevate this song to a much higher level.

This song doesn’t feature great poetry or literary devices. Instead the words are stilted and stammering. However. this is exactly the reasons this song is so powerful. There is nothing harder than describing one’s feelings and the meandering thoughts perfectly reflect how we actually feel about love.

This song isn't about idealized love as Ben Folds sings in the first verse about not knowing where he was the day before he met his love.  All he know is that I get to see her every day and I feel lucky for that.  Ben Folds goes on to wonder if he was born at a different time and saw his love as a child, it’s an interesting thought. Would he make the same connection? It’s a question without an answer as he realizes that knowing one pair of eyes is what’s truly important.

The final verse is about a wife passing away a couple days after her husband. Folds acknowledges that this may be a strange way to express his love but he knows how that wife feels because he feels that way to and so do I.

What does it really mean to be lucky?

"Luck" is something that happens out of chance. More than that being “lucky” means that you did nothing to influences the outcome and because of this you did nothing to deserve this "gift."

Why do I get to find someone like Diana when there are so many lonely people out there who have work much harder than I to find that special someone? There’s no logic in that.

All I can do is make this “luck,” this “gift” mean something. I may not have done anything before meeting Diana to deserve her as a partner in my life but I’m going to take care of her and be the best man I can be for her.  This way when I die and I can tell whatever force put Diana in my life about the amazing life we shared together and he will be proud to have given me this gift.

 "I know that I am the luckiest."

If You Could Read My Mind by Gordon Lightfoot/Johnny Cash

"I just don't get it."

As much as we try to figure out the events of our lives sometimes we just have to admit to ourselves that there are things beyond our understanding.  We question the logic of life when things don't go our way and the feeling of helplessness, accepting what we can not make sense of is one of the hardest things in life.

Gordon Lightfoot's 1971 unforgettable hit "If You Could Read My Mind" is about this moment. 



I recently came to this song through Johnny Cash's cover:



On February 26th, 2010 seven years after his death, Johnny Cash released his last album, American VI: Ain’t No Grove. Like the five previous albums produced by Rick Rubin, this was a simply produced album combining popular hits along with Cash’s own compositions. The most popular of these song was “Hurt,” a cover of a Nine Inch Nails song (which I discussed in this earlier post) was on the previous album American IV: The Man Comes Around. While Cash’s own compositions on this album are stunning and unforgettable, his interpretations of other songs are truly remarkable.

There is something unforgiving and dark about this song. Here is a man trying to explain how he feels initially relating himself to a trapped ghost then in the second verse a fallen hero. Even when there’s hope in the third verse and he admits how his queen that brings “all the good things out in me.” He admits, “let’s be real, I never thought I could act this way.” Then he gives up.

And I got to say that I just don’t get it.
I don’t’ know where we went wrong,
But the feeling’s gone and I just can’t get it back.

Lightfoot displays incredible song writing craft and he builds tension towards the end of each rising in melody and speeding up the rhythm of the words. The setting of the words reflects the natural pulse of the words. The way the words against the constant pulse of the guitar that just tears at your heart.

Now Lightfoot’s performance is great, but Cash takes it to another level. Slowing down the tempo and singing with his battered baritone, Cash doesn’t so much sing but emotes straight from the dark corners of his heart.

Cash's voice carefully and deliberately steps through each note. No, his voice is not as agile as it was when he was younger but it’s the slight strain, the struggle, the shake in his voice transforms this song from a reflection of a pain to the actual event of a heart breaking.

When Cash sings “I just don’t get it,” you believe he truly doesn’t.

Admitting this to ourselves is one of the most painful and helpless things we can do.  And no, listening to Cash fall apart doesn't make us feel better when we just don't get life.  That's not the point of sad music.  Sad music helps us feel better about the pain in our lives, it reminds us that we are not alone in our struggles and that as hard as our moments in our lives are, just like this song, eventually it will be over.

The Choir (television show BBC America)

Once upon a time summer was a time when television channels simply put on reruns. Getting wise to the actual viewing habits of viewers many channels, especially cable networks have started having new seasons of shows start during the summer as well as premiere new show altogether. One of the greatest from this summer television season is The Choir.

The Choir is a labeled by some as a “reality show” but it is much more a true documentary. BBC packaged this award-winning series for American audiences this summer and this week premiered the first episode of this 13 episode season on BBC America (Wednesdays at 10pm).

BBC America is one of the best television channels on cable. It’s not just Dr. Who episodes people. The Graham Norton Show is hilarious, I love Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmare and BBC World News America is regularly puts America’s news programs to shame with their unbiased converge of world wide events and their high level of journalist integrity.

Here’s the set up. Gareth Malone a 30 year old choir director is convinced that he can start a high school choir and get them ready for the “choir Olympics in China.” He chooses Northolt High School to continue his mission to bring music to everyone and provide a choral experience that he believes should be universal.



The first episode showed Gareth auditioning students and teaching them “Can You Feel The Love Tonight?” to record an audition recording to see if they could make it to this choir competition in China.

Gareth Malone actually knows what he’s talking about. While Diana and I don’t agree with everything he is doing as a choir director it is clear that he knows what he is the real deal.  At the first rehearsal, the choir sounds awful and the recording that make at the end of the episode does not sound like something from Glee. It’s still rough but it shows remarkable progress and this shows commitment to showing us the true reality of what it means to make music is eye-opening and inspiring.

So many times, this show could have went for cheap laughs and cheap drama. There was a portion of the episode where Gareth listens to students audition and the show could have gone the humorous American Idol auditions route but the refused to. Gareth’s response made us see the courage in what they were doing even if they weren't very good.

Singing in a choir is one of the amazing things you can do in your life and I wish that all of you can understand what it means. The Choir captures a small part of this. This show is about the love not only of music but also of being human and sharing the beauty of life together. 

If you've been in a choir, you'll love this show and if you haven't it will open your eyes to one of the greatest experience you can have in life and make you wish you could be in a choir.

Buffy Shows Her Love

Buffy has always been ecstatic to see Diana when she gets home from work.


However, Buffy has never responded to me this way when I get home. Usually she’ll step out of her crate, stretch and yawn, realize that it’s me and go back to sleep.

At first when Buffy wouldn’t seem to care that I got home it kind of hurt my feelings but then I realized that my relationship with Buffy is different than Diana’s and Buffy expresses her feelings for me in different ways. Anyways I’m not a fan of Buffy licking my face.

It’s in the little things. Whenever I go to the bathroom and close the door, she is sitting right outside the door waiting for me. I don’t think it’s so much that Buffy has separation anxiety, it’s that she just wants to keep track of me.

 Once Buffy is done with her mid-morning, noon and mid-afternoon nap (she sleeps a lot) Buffy gets this “I want to play” look in her eyes. She follows me around with or without a toy and looks up to me with a look that I can only describe as a “puppy-crush.”

Then there’s bedtime. Usually I go to bed before Diana does. Buffy usually starts circling the bed wanting to come up. I scoop her up and put her on top of the covers and we fall asleep together.

When Diana gets into bed she takes Buffy off her bed and put her in her dog bed in our bedroom seeing how Buffy is usually curled up in the area that Diana sleeps in.

 Buffy and I have always taken naps together since she was a little puppy. She’s always been more comfortable napping with me than Diana. I guess our thing the same way that Diana gets greeted when she gets home.

Sleeping is a time when we are at our most venerable and sharing that with someone else is an expression of trust, comfort and love. Even though Buffy may not be deliberating trying to tell me how she fells about me when she falls asleep next to me, feeling her cuddle up and release the tension in her body speaks volumes to me.

We all express love in different ways. Sometimes we need to work to show our love in ways that other people can understand but at the same time we also need to make an effort to understand the way that people express their love naturally.

Buffy has shown me that love isn’t always licks on the face or the wag of a tail, but can simply be a look in an eye or a relaxed release of breath in the still of the night.

Did I mention that Buffy also loves grass?

Ashokan Farewell from Ken Burns’ The Civil War

"Gen. McClellan was such a wuss. seriously. WORST CIVIL WAR GENERAL EVER!!!"
-Facebook Status update June 24th

As I was watching Ken Burns’ epic documentary The Civil War, I got so enraptured in the drama of the conflict I had to post the a Facbook status update about the McClellan, a Northern general.

McClellan had the resources and the troops but with a lack of confidence and spirit needlessly prolong the war.  Like at the Battle of Antietam, when McClellan with troops outnumbering the Confederate troops failed to launch counterattacks. Why was I getting so frustrated with McClellan? I realized it was because I thought of him as being on my team, the winning team, the North. After finishing the The Civil War, I realized how wrong I was to feel this way.

My understanding of this conflict from my exposure during middle school was that the North didn’t want slavery the South were bad guys who did.  So the North fought them, freed the slaves and the South lost, the end. Ken Burns revealed a lot more to this story.

The South succeeded and the way the North got them back was by invading their land. Lincoln refused to let the war be about slavery and the Emancipation Proclamation was very much a political move. He stated at one time that if he could win the war and not free the slaves he would. There were no good guys or bad guys in this war, only Americans.

At the end of it all the person that I most admired was not Lincoln but General Lee. While his military strategy beating the odds over and over is impressive it was the way that he served his troops which is the most touching.  Lee constantly advocated for the welfare for his troops and after his loss in Gettysburg he rode out amongst his men and apologized to his troops taking blame for devastating loss.

The most powerful part of Ken Burns masterpiece is how he helps us understand on a human level what happened. No one can truly comprehend the over 600,000 American deaths in this war. Burns reveals the struggles through individuals like Sullivan Ballou with his beautiful and heart breaking letter to his wife.



Accompanied by "Ashokan Farewell," the theme composed for this series, this letter expresses love and passion that we all share as Americans and reminds us that the tragedy of death is not simply a loss of life but the pain felt by the people who loved the one who has passed.

The Civil War will change the way you view America and will make you question what it means to be American.  Yes, it's nine episodes that adds up to more than 10 hours but watching this documentary is an engaging and unforgettable experience.    

True by Spandau Ballet

“True” by Spandau Ballet entered my life when I was in middle school and my brother became obsessed with this song. I’m not really sure why my brother thought this song was so cool. This ballad laced with synthesizers that perfecting exemplifies the cleaned-up new wave image of the early 1980s seems kind of lame on first listen. It sounds adult contemporary, has an almost “soap opera-level” of emotions in the sings. Check when the sing looks straight into the cameras and sings “but now I come again.” (3:40).



Well, actually the entire video is kind of hilarious. I would say that I love video in an ironic “wow, this is so unintentionally, hilariously awful” kind of way but that’s not how I feel about this song. Let’s look beyond the surface here, strip away the dated the musical landscape and you’ll be surprised at what you find.

In this 2009, performance, Spandau Ballet strips this song down to its core with minimal instrumentation to show us all what is at the heart of “True.”



Tony Hadley sings with less bravado and more intimacy reminiscent of George Michael as tries to emote how he feels. This man has traveled the world and still can’t quite put into words what is special. The line “this is the sound of my soul” is referring to the way that the music is describing something that he can’t say put into words “why’d I find it hard to write the next line.” What is truly “true” is the feeling that in the simple contour of the refrain lacking words but full of emotion.

It is never made clear what Spandau knows is true.  Is he confessing his love or is he telling someone that he trusts her despite rumors of infidelity or is it something about himself? You don’t know and that’s one things that’s cool about this song. The music creates an emotion we all share and relate to without tying it down to a situation.  We place that feeling into the an event or person in our own lives and it because personal, meaningful and true.

“True” is everything I love about music. It’s optimistic, life-affirming and embraces the mystery and magic that is music. You can tell that Spandau Ballet loves understands music when Tony sings “listening to Marvin all night long,” reffering to Marvin Gaye. I don’t think I could listen to Spandau Ballet all night long, but every so often I listen to “True” and I can’t help but love every moment of this song.

I know this much is true.

No Surrender by Bruce Springsteen feat. Brian Fallon (The Gaslight Anthem)

In 2009, The Gaslight Anthem played the Hard Rock Calling Festival in Hyde Park, London. During their set, Bruce Springsteen supported his fellow New Jersey musicians by performing “The ’59 Sound” with The Gaslight Anthem.



This gracious gesture brought excitement and attention The Gaslight Anthem and an amazing musical energy to this song. Bruce didn’t steal the spotlight but instead played as a member of the band providing an exciting guitar solo and a great vocal counterpoint to Brian Fallon, lead singer of The Gaslight Anthem.

Later that evening during Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band’s set Fallon returned the favor and performed “No Surrender” with Bruce.



Bruce looked like he was having the time of his life when he performed with The Gaslight Anthem, while Fallon looked absolutely giddy singing with Bruce. As much as it must have been a dream come true to have Bruce sing “The ’59 Sound,” singing with the E Street Band must have been on a whole other level.

Growing up in a house not far from where Springsteen grew up, Fallon identified with Springsteen as he describes in this clip.



Stripped of his guitar, Fallon starts the performance standing in the band clapping looking like a kid amongst these rock legends. As he joins Bruce for the chorus, we get a sense that something special is happening here. Then when Brian takes over the second verse it becomes clear why he is up there.

If I didn’t know that who was singing you could convince me that the guy singing the second verse was older than Bruce. There is something so mature, weathered and passionate in his voice. The pure expression that Brian injects into that second verse is spectacular. He strains for notes while soaring through them all at the same time sounding like a person who not only knows the words but has lived them.

There could not be a more fitting song for these two musicians to sing together. “No Surrender” is about the power of music and the bonds it creates between people. This performances uniting generations exemplifies this . . . I mean just look at how much fun Brian and Bruce are having up there, that's what it's all about.