Buffy & Babies

Buffy has always liked kids.  From an early age, Buffy showed interest in children and enjoyed playing with them.  She has spent a lot of time with Diana's younger cousins who like to chase Buffy around and carry her around as if she was a doll.  I am amazed at Buffy's patience in these situation. 

I don't really understand why Buffy is so into kids.  Maybe it's because of the way that kids interact with Buffy, maybe it's because they are closer to the same size or maybe it's because kids understand something about dogs that adults forget as they grow up.

When Buffy first met kids from the age of 6 to 10, Diana and I were cautious.  We didn't want Buffy to get too excited and nip at their hands.  As Buffy got older, and she had positive experiences with kids, we relaxed.  We feel comfortable letting Buffy play with kids as long as we know that the kid knows how to interact with Buffy in an appropriate way.

Recently Buffy has hung out with babies and toddlers.  This raised another level of concern for Diana and I.  When Buffy first met one of Diana's cousin's daughter, she was only a year old.  Buffy was eager to play with her but she wasn't sure what to do with Buffy.  One moment she wanted to play with Buffy then when Buffy came over, she would walk away.  As the night went on, Lily became more relaxed with Buffy as she through down Buffy bread to eat from her high chair. 

This last week Buffy met my niece Amelia.   The first night that Buffy met Amelia, she didn't really know what to do with her.  She sniffed her a couple times but mostly left her alone.  The second night was a different story.  When my brother Ed put Amelia's car seat on the ground as they entered the house, Buffy trotted up to Amelia.  She carefully sniffed Amelia's feet, and her cheek, walked around the car seat and looks up at us approvingly.

As the evening went on, Buffy followed whoever was holding Amelia.  At first I thought it was because Buffy was jealous of Amelia's attention but in the way that she walked and looked up, I got the sense that Buffy was trying to help.

Later in the evening my mom was sitting on the floor cradling Amelia.  Buffy came up to them and sat down near them.  My mom reached out to Buffy and pulled her towards Amelia and Buffy relaxed into my mom's lap and cuddled up next to Amelia.

Soon Buffy and Amelia were asleep in my mom's lap.  I panicked for a second seeing how close Buffy was to Amelia, but seeing how at peace they both were I quickly relaxed and took in the magic of that moment.  My mom put Amelia's hand on the back of Buffy's neck and her little hand grabbed a little of Buffy's fur.  Buffy didn't move at all when she felt Amelia pet her, instead she relaxed deeper into my mom's lap.

A couple days later Buffy got to spend some more time with Amelia.  They were both more active as this was the middle of the afternoon.  Buffy did the same thing she did during their earlier meeting following around whoever was holding Amelia, especially when Amelia was crying.  While my dad was holding Amelia, my mom was playing with Buffy getting her to jump holding her hand above Buffy's nose.  As Buffy jumped and barked, Amelia laughed for the first time.

The first laugh is a special thing.  It's a sign of a baby's physical and emotional development.  Just a couple months ago, Amelia could not make out shapes or communicate a wide range of emotions.  Now Amelia was watching, listening and comprehending Buffy at play and communicating her joy through laughter.

I am so proud that Buffy was part of Amelia's first laugh.  I'm overjoyed that Buffy can interact with Amelia in a positive way.  The fact that Buffy helped Amelia learn to laugh makes me feel that somehow Buffy knows that Amelia is a special person to all of us.

It's the feelings between people that we can't articulate and understand that are the most special.  Buffy and Amelia are family.  I don't know Buffy understand this, but that's what makes it that much more magical.       

It's moments like these that make me feel like I have the greatest puppy in the world.  

Jeff Tietz At The Heart Of Rolling Stone

I’ve been reading Rolling Stone magazine for almost a decade. While I enjoy the entertainment reviews and news, what keeps me coming back is the long form journalism that is featured in every issue.

Like a good documentary, long form journalism has a depth of meaning that most news articles lack because of length and time allotted to research and write these articles. As the news is filled with underdeveloped stories about events that aren’t truly newsworthy, the art of long form journalism remains a unique and vital part of our culture.
The Fallen by Jeff Tietz featured in the most recent Rolling Stone is an amazing example of the power of long form journalism and what is truly at the heart of this great magazine.

This article is apolitical. There’s no mention of the upcoming presidential election or any political party. Instead of using this story of people who live in their cars to make a political argument, he  lets these people speak for themselves and gives voice to an important part of our population.

This is an article about how the economy has effected people negatively and profiles people doing everything right to get out of their situation. These are stories of hope, perseverance and what it means for many people to live in America today.

Tietz tells three stories: Janis Adkins, the Cateses family a wife and husband with three children and Sean Kennan a single dad with two sons. He skillfully interweaves these stories without creating confusion in the story. Knowing when to leave one person to tell another person’s story and come back to it is a passing issue that when done well gives you time away to reflect and motivates you to continue reading.

Great writers don’t describe everything in detail. Instead they pick certain senses that are powerful and memorable to feature.

As we climb in, I realize the van smells faintly of slept-on sheets. Adkins is a clean person – she showers and does laundry regularly – but vehicle dwellers live in spaces too small to easily dissipate quotidian odors.

Tietz doesn’t go into detail about what the van looks like or Adkins appearance herself. Instead of using senses to simply give people an idea of what he is talking about he uses descriptions to tell a story.

The hook at the beginning of the article is effective but what’s really powerful is the ending. When you are done reading the last sentence, it forces you to take a moment to reflect. It’s like the end of a great piece of music. You need that silence after a great song to take in the emotional experience and Tietz creates that same feeling with this article.

I understand people’s reservations about Rolling Stone. This magazine seems to express an unapologetic liberal stance.  There are some writers who have clear liberal viewpoints and republican perspectives are rarely given in the political section of the magazine.  Outside of this section however you find the heart of Rolling Stone with articles like Tietz's.  Like rock music itself, Rolling Stone is not about politics but rather this magazine is about hope, trials and liberation.  

There is a difference between a journalist and a blogger. There is a difference between a great journalist and mediocre ones and there is a difference between journalism that is frivolous with work that is important.  Take the time to read this article and you'll understand what I'm talking about.  I don't have a great ending to this post like Tietz's has for his article.  Just take this post as an introduction to The Fallen and you won't regret it.   


Jeff Tietz's website

Breakthru by Queen

When I first started to go out with Diana I made mix CDs for her. I put a lot of thought into each of these CDs (I talked about this process in this earlier post). I don’t really remember the reasons why I picked most of the songs for those CDs I made for her almost ten years ago but for some of the songs I do. And one of those songs is “Breakthru.”



This late masterpiece by Queen was released in 1989, two years before the death of lead singer Freddie Mercury. While most people think of “Bohemian Rhapsody” and “We Will Rock You,” when the think of Queen, I think of later songs like this and “Under Pressure” (which I discussed in this earlier post). With “Breakthru,” and many of these later songs, Queen wrote music that really spoke to the spirit of liberation and freedom. Instead of being an anthem for the sake of rocking out, these songs were anthems that talked about the deeper meaning of life.

At the time that this song was recorded, Mercury was feeling the effects of AIDs and lead guitarist Brian May was suffering from depression. Instead of creating music that reflected these feelings, Queen rallied and created a song that aimed to lift others out of these dark feelings. Starting with a slower, almost improvised vocalization, Mercury creates a dark and eerie musical landscape and out of that like the train in the music video comes a driving and pulsating beat.

The lyrics are beautiful expressions of love and adoration.  Mercury delivers them with a level of intimacy and charm. At first you feel that he isn’t so much singing but talking straight to you and as the chorus hits, his voice soars. You can feel the joy that this band had in creating this music. It’s in Freddie’s voice, the amazing groove and the ease at which Brian May play  his guitar solo. While Mercury sings about trying to make “you” smile, you can’t help but smile yourself.

I put this song on that mix CD for Diana because I wanted to tell her how much I wanted to get to know her better. I wanted her to know how excited I was to make that breakthrough, make her smile and know her. I wanted to her to know that the uncontrollable smile I feel when I listened to “Breakthru” was the same one I had on my face when I thought of her.

Ten years later “Breakthru” brings me back to that early part in our relationship, and the excitement of getting to know someone. Are there still breakthroughs to make in our relationship?  Not in the same sense as in the beginning of our relationship.  Instead of the breakthroughs being in getting to know each other, it's in sharing new experiences in life.  The same excitement I felt with wanting to get to know Diana, I feel whenever Diana and I enter a new adventure in life together.

As I got to know Diana, everything I found out about her made me want to get to know her even better and with every adventure we share together it makes me look forward to each breakthrough we share.

One Sweet Day by Mariah Carey & Boyz II Men

To mourn the death of my goldfish Winston Tang, my brother and I posted songs about death on his facebook page.  Buffy’s contribution to this remembrance was “One Sweet Day” by Mariah Care & Boyz II Men.



SRY, I HAS NEVR TOLD U,
ALL I WANTD 2 SAY
AN NAO IZ 2 LATE 2 HOLD U
CAUSE UVE FLOWN AWAY SO FAR AWAY

You know how there are songs that if you don’t know means that you literally lived under a rock during a certain time period? “One Sweet Day” is one of those songs. Mariah Carey and Boyz II Men joined forces at the peak of their popularity to record this unforgettable song of mourning in 1995. “One Sweet Day” topped the charts for a record 16-weeks making it the longest running number 1 song ever. It sold over two million units making it one of the most successful pop songs of the year and the decade.

Carey, Boyz II Men and Walter Afanasieff wrote this song about people in their lives they had lost to AIDs. Instead of creating a depressing song focusing on the sorrow of death, Carey and Boyz II Men made a joyous expression about looking forward to that “One Sweet Day” when they would be reunited with the ones that they loved.

The production of this song is slick and clean. It has that 1990s sheen that so much pop music had back then. Sometimes this comes off as cheesy and dated but something about this song makes it work. Mariah does a beautiful job of adapting her voice to this song stripping away any level of sensuality to a more personal and soulful performance.

Three of the Boyz II Men take solos. The one that always gets to me is Wanya. Usually I prefer Nathan’s, who opens this song, but there’s something about Wanya’s bridge. I’m not a big fan of huge gospel glissandos between phrases but Wanya makes it work. He never looses sight of the main melody and the way he ends the phrase is a perfect transition into Carey’s voice.

Yeah, I used this song as a joke.  This probably was due to the overexposure I experienced listening to this song in the 90s.  Coming back to this song years later, after loosing people in my life, I am grateful for this song.  The best music doesn’t always rise to the top in the music industry but “One Sweet Day” is an example of a song that did. The song is well-crafted, the singing is strong and the meaning behind the song is beautiful.  

Although, the sun will never shine the same,
I'll always look to a brighter day.    

Unclehood

What does it mean to be an uncle?

No one tells you what it means to be a brother, a son, a daughter or a parent. We learn what the responsibilities and expectations of being a family are member through societies norms but that doesn’t really take us to a place where we really feel what it means to be a family member.

When my brother, Ed, told me that he and my sister-in-law, Laura were pregnant last summer I was ecstatic. The idea of them extending all of their love and who they are to another person was one of those things that gives me hope for the world. This truly was a beautiful thing.

As the months past, this excitement got mixed up with a lot of other emotions. There was concern for the life changes and the very real risks involved in having a baby. Ed and Laura gave me no reason to worry about them or the baby, but unfortunately even in the best of situations very difficult situations can arise through pregnancy.

On the night of March of 13th, we got the phone call: Amelia was here and everyone was healthy. There was a wave of relief, a smile that I could not control and a feeling of pure joy. When my grandfather died everything seemed a slightly different color knowing he was no longer in this world. The same thing happened at that moment when I knew that Amelia was out there, but instead of feeling a twinge of heartache, there was a light that seemed to shine on everything I saw.

Diana and I live in Evanston, Il and Ed and Laura live in Seattle, where my parents also live. What occurred for the next three months was a waiting game for Diana and I. The soonest we could get out to see them was June 12th. So we had to simply be satisfied with pictures of our new niece and a facetime chat with the little girl.

While I waited to meet Amelia, I asked my friends what being an uncle or aunt meant to them. I learned that there was a wide variety of involvement. People do everything from seeing their nieces or nephews once a month to sending a birthday card every year. While I had an idea of what my relationship with Amelia would be like I really wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do as an uncle.

Earlier this week we flew to Seattle and I met my niece for the first time. Now I’ve met a lot of babies but there was something different about Amelia. When I saw her for the first time, the pictures I had seen didn’t come close to capturing her beauty. As I picked her up and felt the weight of her body in my arms and she looked up at me, all I could think of what how happy I was to meet her and how much I loved my niece.

It’s weird, I didn’t think about what to say her, things just came out and as she looked to me with her bright eye being an uncle started to make sense. Amelia is part of my family. She’s the best of  Laura and Ed, and because of the things that Ed and I share, part of me is reflected in her.  There's the logical reasons why I feel connected to her, but the emotion that I feel for her that I can't explain is what truly makes her special.

I spoke to my dad about his feelings about being an uncle.  I heard the same excitement in his voice that I felt looking forward to seeing to Amelia, when he described meeting his first nephew.  I don't understand how or why we share these same feelings but I am so glad that we do.  My sense of family is one of the things that I am most proud of, and I didn't realize until that conversations how much of that I got from my dad.   

I don’t know how often I will see Amelia, or what kind of presents I will get her, but I know that am proud of Ed and Laura, grateful to share in their joy and feel blessed to have such a wonderful niece, Amelia in my life.

Buffy Tang - Portrait Of A Good Dog

When people tell me what a good dog they think Buffy is, I often wonder what they mean by this statement.  Most of the time, I people think Buffy is a good dog because of what she doesn't do. Buffy is not a nuisance. She doesn't eat food off of tables, Buffy isn't much of a barker and most of the time when she is around the house, she's not very needy and keeps to herself.

While I like these things about Buffy, characteristics that could describe a lamp don't really seem to define in my mind what makes a Buffy a good dog.

I asked my wife, Diana, her opinion on this subject and she came up with some insightful ans touching thoughts.  Below are her thoughts.

Buffy is a dog with personality. She's loyal and wants to please but also thinks for herself. While she likes people and other dogs, she's not the kind of dog that instantly falls in love with whoever she meets. Buffy has a little attitude, and sometimes she seems like teenager, but when it's important she puts that aside and shows an amazing level of maturity.

Buffy cares about the people who are importance to us.  Somehow Buffy figures out who Diana and I love and in her own way shows affection towards them.

Buffy is a strong dog. She is incredibly adaptable and brave. Buffy has handled uncertain situations with amazing spirit. Whether it's on a plane, at the farmer's market, or the T train in Boston, Buffy faces this life with optimism and excitement even when she have no idea what lies ahead. After Buffy was attacked by a dog last summer, Buffy showed amazing resilience and strength. This trauma didn't shake Buffy's spirit and through this experience Buffy maintained a positive outlook on life.

People often say that there aren’t bad dogs, only bad owners. So does that mean there aren’t good dogs, only good owners? No, there are plenty of great dogs with horrible owners.  I believe that all people are good and I believe that all dogs are good deep down inside, even the dog that bit Buffy. I believe that dog had some experience that made him so frightened and scared that the only way that he could deal with life was to lash out.

When people tell me that Buffy is a good dog, I take pride in hearing this but I don’t take credit. I didn’t make Buffy a good dog, Buffy was always a good dog.  Diana and I simply put in the work to bring out the best in her and allow her to be good dog who can be as proud of herself as we are of her.

Bad Romance by Lady Gaga

“Bad Romance” is one of Lady Gaga’s greatest works and one of the best pop songs ever created.  It’s a powerful song that through the shadow of its dark imagery is a celebration of everything that is awesome about popular music.


After her breakthrough album The Fame, it was difficult to imagine what Lady Gaga was going to do next. Songs like “Pokerface” and “Paparazzi” (this hyperlink and others in this entry link to other post about these songs) pushed the boundary of what people felt comfortable as pop music.  She using strongly referential musical styles with provocative lyrics. There is nothing original about the elements that Lady Gaga used in her first album, but the way she put things together and presented herself was something that no one was else was doing at the time.

Her first album was a triumph but lacked a song with true universal appeal that spoke beyond her neo-1980s dance music and disturbing music videos. Yes, singing “Pokerface” is a good time, but something feels off about rocking to this song in a large group of people.

To lead off her second album The Fame Monster we got “Bad Romance.” The song opens with a glorious rising vocal line leading into the words “caught into a bad romance.” This hook could have been easily used in an Elton John song or after the chorus in a Springsteen anthem. It is simple and straight forward, which is exactly the reason it is so appealing. It’s a melody that an entire stadium of people could sing along with after only hearing for the first time.

Then Lady Gaga presents her second hook. This chant is uniquely Gaga in its quirkiness and even more catching than the opening line. After a verse, a pre-chorus that draws back the texture we get the final hook in the chorus. As the chorus continues we hearing the opening line come in and like the glorious moment in “Tonight, Tonight” from West Side Story when Leonard Bernstein layers in songs on top of each other, the song opens up in sheer joy.

Yes, the lyrics are weird, but the themes are not.

This is a song about someone wanting a relationship even though she knows that there are bad things involved in being together. Instead of pushing this away, Lady Gaga embraces the bad possibilities, the bad romance because she simply wants this regardless of what other people tell her. She knows its not good for her but she wants it anyways. This is a song about taking a chance, not playing safe because as she sing, she doesn’t want to be friends, she wants something more.

Many songs in the this album express the message Lady Gaga has been expressing in her advocacy. Like “Edge Of Glory,” “Bad Romance,” carries the theme of accepting who people for who they are, good and bad. "Bad Romance" is about accepting what you want and who you are regardless of what other people tell you. It’s a feeling that things may be bad and may look bad but that doesn’t mean that have to be bad. “Bad Romance” is similar to songs like “He’s A Rebel,” about a girl wanting to be with someone that others say are bad.


Yes, this is an innocent and misguided viewpoint, but this is same viewpoint that gives us songs like “God Only Knows.” Lady Gaga captures this feeling of “I’m going to do what I want,” with strength and attitude. This is a pop song with the soul of a rock song because like all great rock music "Bad Romance" is about liberation and empowerment.

If you listen to the song and don’t know what I’m talking about, sing along and you will feel what I mean.