Wednesday, February 20, 2013

To Be A Man: Women

A man walking along a beach was deep in prayer when all of a sudden he said aloud, "Lord grant me one wish". The sky clouded and a booming voice said, "Because you have tried to be faithful I will grant you one wish." The man said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over anytime I want."

The Lord answered, "Your request is very materialistic. Think of the logistics of that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time to think of another wish, a wish you think would honor and glorify me".

The man thought for a long time and finally said, "Lord, I wish that I could understand women. How can I make a woman truly happy?"

After a few minutes God said, "How many lanes did you want on that bridge?"
Everyone from psychologist to comedians have tried to explain to men how to best understand and interact with women. The differences between the genders influenced almost every facet of our modern society, from the way our shirts are buttoned to the amount people get paid to do a job. Every woman is different and for every generalization about women like how they aren't solution-based when they share their feelings, there are exceptions. The reality of the fact is that not all women are really from Venus.

Regardless of the diversity within the world of women, there are a couple things that guys should consider to understand what it means to be a man when interacting with the opposite sex.

Acknowledge what you don't and can't understand:  There are many life experiences that guys can never truly understand like breast-feeding, experiencing a menstrual cycle and giving birth. Then there are the things that most guys will never get, because most guys will never wear high heels, get a part of their body waxed or wear a bra.

It's not important that you have deep conversations about the unique experiences related to being a woman, but you need to be aware of what you don't understand and inform yourself from a women's experience, not from your own conclusions.

Be direct and honest: If you aren't sure what a woman is asking of you, speak up. If a girl asks you if you like something, be honest. This isn't a license to be rude or even bluntly honest.  You have to be truthful with women if you want to stand a chance to have a positive relationship with one. If she asks you for a commitment that you can't fulfill, do not commit to it. If this leads to a fight and even a break-up, its better that it happens sooner.

A man doesn't make up a reason to break-up with a girl. He is honest about his feelings and takes the hard road of honesty and not the easy way out through self-degradation or avoidance.

Give up on trying to "figure out" women: Sometimes when I hear men talk about women, it's like these guys are talking about a different species or some kind of puzzle. Don't forget, women are people and the best way to understanding a woman is to simply sit down, open up a conversation and listen, really listen. If you set out to figure out women you will fail, however if you try to get to know a woman as a person and a friend you will "figure out" more than you can imagine.

Women continue to struggle to have control over their own lives, find support from both men and women for the choices they make and resolve conflicting expectations from older generations. The biggest difference between men and guys, is that men acknowledge and respect the unique challenges that woman face, while guys brush off these issues as insignificant.

It is not our job as men to solves these problems for women but we need to do our best to understand these struggles and support women as they deal with these issues.

So will the real men step up?
And since we all came from a woman,
Got our name from a woman and our game from a woman
I wonder why we take from our women
Why we rape our women, do we hate our women
I think it's time to kill for our women
Time to heal our women, be real to our women
                                                            -Tupac Shakur


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