Monday, May 19, 2014

Parenthood: Week 51 – Birth Story: Part 2 - The Silence

Click here for part 1

"Hold my hand."

As I sat down next to Diana, I grabbed her trembling hand and put my other hand on her shoulder as I tried to help her control her body’s reaction to the anesthesia she was receiving.

On one side of the curtain hanging over Diana's chest a team of doctors were performing a Caesarean section and on the other side of the curtain I sat with Diana, her arms out to her sides looking over to me with her eyes fixed on my own.

There was a sense of relief as I took her hand in mine. For the previous eighteen hours I had been at her side helping her through labor.  But then as she was prepped for the Caesarean procedure we were separated. Diana went off with a team of nurses while one of the nurses escorted me to the recovery room and helped me put on a set of scrubs.

After I was done, she told me with a kind smile that they would come get me when they were ready in about five minutes. Those were the loneliest five minutes of my life. After being in a delivery room with constant sounds of monitors and nurses coming in and out, the silence cooled my heart and all I wanted to do was to be back with Diana.

As I was escorted into the surgery room, I was told where to sit and not to look over the curtain. I looked at Diana and hoped that she could see my smile through my eyes, as my mouth and nose were covered with a surgical mask.

While Diana wasn't supposed to be feeling pain, she was clearly uncomfortable. The uncontrollable trembling combined with feelings of pressure, difficulties breathing and the sounds of the doctors were created a stressful, tense and scary experience.

I told her that it would be over soon, that she was doing an amazing job and that I was so proud of her.

In her eyes there was the same spirit I saw in her when I first met her ten years ago. In her eyes I saw the love that we committed to each other on our wedding day. And in her eyes I saw a strength that I had never seen before, that assured me that we would get through this together.

Then we heard Ollie cry.

No comments:

Post a Comment