My second son Ethan was born, last Wednesday 10/25/17.
There’s a lot of thoughts and reflections floating around in my head, so I’m going to try to get down a few of them on this post that feel most important to capture.
Before Ethan was born, we had a couple names picked out for him. We figured that we would meet him and then decide. Ethan was born and after a couple hours, we both agreed that none of the names we picked out fit. For the next day, we spent our time at the hospital trying to figure out a name. We had some time to pick out a name, but it felt weird to me to not have it figured out. After many discussions, and scribbling out names all over a piece of paper, we landed on Ethan Milo Tang.
Why this name? It was a combination of how the sound of the name felt and their meaning. Names are very important, but at a certain point, I was fine compromising with Diana on this one. Does a name bring meaning to a child because of what a name means, or does a child bring meaning to a name because of how much you love your child? It’s a combination of both, but I lean towards the latter.
Ollie visited us twice when we were in the hospital. The first time, it was clear that he wasn’t into Ethan at all. Grandparents were around, and he didn’t really know what to do with the baby, or us. So the second time when he visited, I took him around the hospital floor. I showed him how to use the ice machine, which he thought was really cool, and I shared a snack with him. He still didn’t show much interest in Ethan, but when we came back from our exploration, he was excited to tell Diana about the ice machine. That’s something.
Both nights I slept over in the hospital. In the evening, I went home and spent some time with Ollie and did his bedtime routine as normal as possible. Even though he didn’t seem to care about the baby, he was really into me reading his human reproduction book as a bed time story.
The second night, while I was finishing my dinner, I looked over to Ollie and he had some toys in front of him, but he was silent and looked sad. I asked him if he missed his mommy, and he nodded silently. I sat on the floor with him, and asked him if a hug would help. Ollie took this as an invitation, and he crawled into my arms. I told him that it was okay for him to be sad, and if he felt this way, I would stay with him. So we sat for a couple minutes, talking softly, both thinking about the most important woman in our lives.
When Ethan was born, I was overwhelmed with a feeling of awe and pride in my wife Diana. For months, she carried our son and took care of him all by herself. She worked through the birthing process with strength that I knew existed in her, but rarely witnessed. Seeing someone you love, accomplish something amazing, not just the day of the birth, but through the whole process of pregnancy is remarkable.
Like Michelle Obama described the Presidency, Diana’s pregnancy and the birthing process, didn’t change her in my eyes. Instead it revealed more of her true self. What was revealed to me, has inspired in me more respect and deeper love for my wife.
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