This was a short week, however there was a lot to do. My 3rd graders had one of their biggest performances of the year on Wednesday. We had Monday as a final rehearsal, Tuesday as a dress rehearsal and Wednesday was the final show.
I had pretty well dug myself out of all that I had to catch on from being away on paternity leave, but there was still some stuff to do. Also, I’m still dealing with the adjusting to being back at school, which while is not an unmanageable challenge, still has its difficulties.
I tried really hard to stay focused on my students, and the task of teaching. The busier I could keep myself, the easier it is to deal with the feelings of guilt and sadness from being away from my little baby. This is a hard thing to do, because as much as I can focus on tasks unrelated to parenting, my kids are always on your mind. What makes this even harder is the fact that students, others teachers, and other parents asked about Ethan, and want to talk to me about him constantly.
Teaching is an interesting job. As much as it is important to maintain some level of separation of personal life and professional life, a skillful blending of the two is necessary to create meaningful relationships with your students. No, you should never talk to your kids about your dating life, but talking to them about your family, as you ask them to do the same, is meaningful. No, you shouldn’t tell your third graders about how much you love Game Of Thrones, but it’s great to tell them how you waited in line for the release of a Harry Potter book.
Students need to be able to relate to you as a person, while maintaining a level of separation. Without connections, there isn’t trust, and without the students being able to see themselves in their teachers in some ways, they can’t become partners in education.
This is why my students know about Buffy, my dog, Ollie, whatever music I’m currently obsessed with, and my new son Ethan. As hard as it was for me to pivot from showing baby pictures to other parts of the lessons, the classes when I did this ran better, and the classes where I forgot to do this, or ran out of time, simply didn’t go as well. The classes where I didn’t mention Ethan at all were easier for me, but the ones in which I did, were better for the kids.
All of my students, 3rd, 5th, 6th & 8th graders were into the pictures of Ethan. I took time to explain the history of paternity leave and how my time off wasn’t a vacation. I didn’t do a great job at this, so I’m going to try this again later.
Earlier in my teaching carrier I did more sharing about my personal life with my students. This has become less over time, but in the last couple years I’ve been weaving my personal life back into my curriculum. But it’s different now.
When I talk about Ethan, I mention the history of miscegenation in America. I discuss the different terminology of mixed-raced, and multi-ethnic, and the problems with these terms. I talk about how paternity leave reflects changes in gender roles. After we watch a video of Buffy, I explain the problems with puppy mills, and why we got Buffy from a breeder, and not a shelter. As I’ve become fully awoken to social justice and the different facets of my identity, I realize that I’m living the challenges, the history, and values I’m trying to teach with my students.
There’s more to say to my students about my personal life, and so much they can learn from my experiences with Ethan. So I'll make it happen, let them in a little and we'll enjoy the cuteness and challenges together.
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