I’ve written about the challenge of the drop-off in these previous posts (Week 119, Week 170). As with almost every part of parenting, this part of child-rearing has changed and evolved over the years. The first year that Ollie was in day-care, Diana did almost all of the drop-offs and pick-ups. This was difficult for Diana at times, not because the daycare was bad, or that Ollie or Diana had extraordinary separation issues. It was simply because it’s really hard to drop-off off young child sometimes, even in the best of situations.
When we enrolled Ollie in Chiaravalle three years ago, I took a more active role in the drop-off and pick-up. The school was on the way to my school, and this school had before and after care. Two days a week, I had prep time in the morning, so I did drop-off two days and most days I could do pick-up. So I had drop-off two days, Diana did two days and Diana’s dad did one drop-off.
There were tough drop-offs, but more than not, I really enjoyed this process. Because, I dropped him off for before care, there weren’t a lot of students, and it was really chill. I hated the days when I would have to literally pry him off him. I will never forget the sounds of him crying and being held back as a teacher, when I walked way, doing my best like Orpheus to not look back to Eurydice, knowing that it would only make things worse, if I made eye contact. On the best days, Ollie and I we would share twenty hugs, and he would give me a bonus hugs. He would run into his room smiling, and I would walk away knowing I had helped start his day off well.
This school year, we decided that Ollie would not do before care. It would make it easier on Ollie because he would not have to get up as early, and it would make my mornings less stressful. Diana has been doing drop-off, and it has been going well.
A couple weeks into the school year, me and Diana were talking after Ollie went to sleep, and I told her that while our drop-off situations was logical, I didn’t love it. Selfishly, I missed the good drop-offs and most days, instead of having quality time with Ollie before school, I left for work kissing him goodbye while he was still sleeping.
This is one of those things, that is better for our family, that has a negative side, that I just had to get over. So I was excited to do drop-off and pick-up again during my paternity leave.
Ollie’s school Chiaravalle, has a carpool system for drop-off and pick-up. There’s an alley behind the school, and at a certain time, cars go through the alley and there’s teachers who greet students once the cars reach the back door and help them inside. During pick-up, they coordinate numbers on the cars with students and bring students out to cars waiting in the alley. Carpool was set-up only during regular drop-off and pick-up, not for before or after care, so I had never done this during previous years.
Even though Diana said that carpool was really convenient, I wasn’t so sure about it. I liked walking into the school holding Ollie’s hand, helping him hang up his stuff, saying hi to his teachers and doing goodbye hugs.
After using carpool. I got to say that I really like it The not having to get out of your car part is really nice, but there’s something really special going on here. When the teachers open the car door, greet Ollie, and help him out, I can feel the positivity and inclusive community of the school coming into my car. The teachers happily greet Ollie, and he responds happy to see them. Ollie is eager to get out of the car, and every day I have had the joy of watching him happily walk into the school, all by himself.
Pick-up is even better. When the teacher walks Ollie out to the car, he is smiling, bouncing as he runs to me, and joyously exclaiming “daddy.” They say goodbye to Ollie, and he happily says goodbye back to me. There is very different than in previous years when Ollie would sometimes be exhausted from a long day ending with aftercare. There’s a difference between a child being happy because they dislike school and want to leave, and a child being happy because they had a great day in school and are excited for what’s next. I’m proud to say that I’ve seen the latter in Ollie for the past two weeks.
There's something magical, and so right about watching happy children come to school. It's inspiring as a teacher, and as a parent it's life-affirming, and beautiful. I never thought I'd be happy watching my child walk away from me, but now that I think about, he's not walking away from me, he's walking into a school he enjoys.
That's happiness.
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