I had given Ollie fair warning.
He knew that his nighttime routine was beginning soon. Ollie had already started cleaning up his toys, but was stalling as he fiddled with some of his Transformers.
“Ollie, I’m going to count to ten, you need to clean up, or you are not going to watch your tooth-brushing video.”
As part of this nighttime routine, after brushing teeth, I regularly show I’m a short YouTube.com video. This highlight was a way I could often get him moving through his nighttime routine. As I started starting counting, instead of cleaning up, Ollie focused on not wanting to stop playing, and the idea of losing his video time. He expressed this by screaming, louder and louder as I calmly got to 10.
Screaming and sobbing, Ollie resisted going up the stairs, so I picked him up as he went “boneless,” and carried him if the stairs. I sat him down on the floor, and sat across from him and watched him scream.
I studied Ollie’s face and the tone of his screams. As he continued, I started noticing that he would wind down, take a breath and start up again with earnest. The rising and falling of the dynamics and energy in his screams made it clear to me that this was no longer an impulsive response, but rather a concerted effort. Like the horns blaring at the walls of Jericho, Ollie was trying to break down the wall that was keeping him from his video, which he created himself.
As Ollie ran out of steam, I asked Ollie if he wanted to skip his bath, which he sometimes sees as a bonus, and he said yes. He got changed into his pajamas, as got his teeth brushed, and washed his face. During this process, he was clearly sad, and managed to keep it together. Then when we finished brushing his teeth, which is usually followed by the video, he started crying again.
I quietly explained to him that I would be happy to read him his bedtime stories, however, I was not going to unless he took some deep breaths and calmed down. I told that I would be in the other room and he could come get me when he was ready.
Ollie squeezed his eyes closed, concentrating, and started taking deep breaths. Then he walked over to me, and told me that he was ready for his story. I asked him to pick out two books (we usually do one), and he picked out Mr. Grumpy, and Pokey Little Puppy.
I laid down in bed with, and he cuddled close to me and I read. I was surprised how this little one, who had been so angry only a couple minutes ago was now laughing at the funny voices I was making as I read the books to him.
After we were done with the two books, I asked Ollie how he felt about not being able to watch his video. He said that he was sad. I told him that it was okay to be sad and that he could be happy about the being the possibility of watching a video tomorrow. He smiled at the thought. I told him that he needed to listen to me and that I’m trying to help him. I don’t think he fully understood this, but he listened. I held him close and told him that I loved him, and he softy responded, “I love you, too daddy.”
We cuddled for another minute, and said goodnight.
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