Year 9: Week 0 - Vision Creation

What social justice concern resonates the most deeply with you?

Right now, in this moment, what most occupies my mind in relation to social justice is destructive masculinity. My entire life, I’ve bristled against the strict, unrealistic, and damaging ideas of masculinity that have been propagated in order to create a false dichotomy against femininity. It is this false dichotomy, femininity vs. masculinity, women vs. men, which is one of the foundational factors behind sexism. The insecurity, emotional damage, and trauma related to maintaining this dichotomy contributes to issues in our country related to racism, classism, and heterosexism.  At the root of this discrimination, and prejudice, are men who do not know who they are as men and who they can be as men.

I have great empathy for the men who struggle, those who do not fit in. The geeks, and freaks. The ones who would rather read play a role playing game than play football. The boys who would rather watch Doctor Who than a basketball game. The boys who feel more comfortable with girls as platonic friends than boys. They are the boy that I see in my younger self. They are those that through trauma, and self-doubt, have had to overcome and learn to love themselves not because of, but despite what our society holds dear, lifts with pride, and embraces as heroism.

It breaks my heart when a boy shuns a girl who is a friend because he is teased by peers that he “likes” her. It breaks my heart that a boy spends time in the car as his dad drives him to school worried about whether it’s ok for him to kiss his father, and say “I love you,” when he is dropped off. It breaks my heart that a boy is called “gay” for liking Broadways music, and doesn’t see the fallacy in this insult, and reconsiders spending time with the baseball cards he bought in a vain attempt to fit in.

What builds me up are the men love their sons unconditionally and truly understand what that means. What builds me up are men who embrace feminism as liberation for women as well as themselves. What builds me up is men who openly talk about their emotions, value affection over violence, and define success not as money earned, but rather as empathy cultivated.

Liberation for men looks likes a group of boys on the playground wearing clothing that is colorful and reflects heroism that goes beyond sports and superheroes. Liberation for men is a woman feeling safe to go on a date with a man because she has no fear of emotional or physical violence. Liberation for men feels like looking into the eyes of one who loves you completely, and knowing that whatever you say, whatever you do, and however you express yourself, you will be loved.

Justice for men is all men coming together, acknowledging past wounds of the patriarchy, and systems of oppression towards men who do not fit unattainable and exclusive views of masculinity. Justice is breaking these systems apart in our society, and justice is working past these biases and internal feelings that keep men apart from each other, and their true authentic expressions of their inner spirit.