We’ve all seen it, and most of us have done it. A group of students are talking in line so we tell them to line up alternating boy, girl. We come up with a seating chart and want to prevent students from talking so we sit them in an alternating gender pattern.
For the most part this strategy works. The talking is less, students seem more on task when genders are split, so we keep doing it. Just because something works, doesn’t mean it’s right, and lately I’ve been thinking that maybe this practice is wrong.
When we split up students by gender expecting that they will not be as talkative, we are expressing to them the idea that boys and girls are not and should not be friends. This division of gender often is used to keep boys in line, which means that the girls who are between boys are seen as “buffers,” responsible for keeping boys quiet. This is putting the boys needs ahead of the girls. When we organize our kids by gender, in a seating chart, it tells students that this is how they are seen first and foremost by their teachers, as girls and boys.
Why does this matter? The idea that boys and girls cannot be friends is damaging, ridiculous, and absurd. But somehow, it’s an idea that continues to be propagated in our society as a primary defining gender characteristic. Boys and girls can be friends, and they should be encouraged to do so, if we are to break down the false dichotomy between masculinity and femininity that is part of the foundation for institutional sexism. Of course, people have issues in male/female marriages. How are you supposed to have a friendship and a partnership with the opposite sex and be successful, if you’ve been told all your life that you can’t be friends with someone of the opposite sex?
So, you sit a quiet girl between two boys who talk too much. Great, it keeps the boys quiet but how does this benefit the girl? The quiet students are far too often overlooked and underserved. This is not equitable. These “buffers” deserve to be seated in a way that benefits them, not just benefits the students around them. And no, they don’t “learn,” by helping others be quiet. That doesn’t make any sense. A girl should not be in a “buffer,” to help other boys be quiet. That can’t be her responsibility or role, it should be boys’ responsibility to learn how to not be disruptive.
Students need to know that we see them. Not just their gender, but all of the facets of their identity. When they feel because of our seating that we see gender first, and most primary, we are misrepresenting how we see our students as a whole child. If we want them to break out of over-the-top and disingenuous expressions of femininity, and masculinity, they students need to feel that their gender identity is not our only focus.
So, what should we do instead? I’m not sure. Maybe, it’s doing random seating. Or maybe it’s starting the year alphabetically and then going from there. Not all ‘’buffers,” are girls, and not all students work better in groups that have boys and girls. We need to spend the extra time to get to know our kids so they understand that line order, and groups aren’t made because of their gender but because of who their friends are and their individual learning needs.
Students should never feel that it’s a punishment after walking in noisy line to have to stand next to someone of the opposite gender. Think about that for a second. We want to create a community where feminism is nurtured, and institutional sexism is addressed. If anything, students should feel excited about the opportunity to stand next to the opposite gender, not forlorn.
These practices are too wrought with unintended sexist messages, reinforce the sexism that we are trying so hard to fight against. Go ahead, split up students who talk too much, and if they happen to all be boys, that’s fine. You aren’t doing this because of their gender. This has to do with friendships and how to adjust them for a classroom, and that’s a teachable moment. The punishment isn’t that they have to stand next to girls, it’s that they can’t be near each other until they work it out. This must be clearly explained. And it can be and should be even at the younger grades.
And we must pause to think what this all means to someone who is unsure of their gender identity and feels anxiety with these categorizations.
If we can stop referring to mixed groups of students as "guys," we can figure out a better way to line up our students and keep them from talking.
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