Have you ever let a five-year-old take the lead in playtime? I mean really and completely let a child tell you what to do and how to play? It’s fascinating…and a little confusing.
When you have a kid, a lot of what they do when they play with by themselves, and with you is up to what you present to them. You and your partner are the one who controls what toys comes into the house, what television shows they watch and what book they read. Don’t forget, while you 3-year old may insist on reading that same book, over and over and over, you or your partner is responsible for bringing that book into their lives. You are the one to blame.
The other part of this is the fact that we as parents very much encourage our children to participate in play that mirrors our own interests. I like Transformers, my son plays with Transformers. I have a friend how’s a Cubs fan, and so is his son. It’s not a coincidence.
Now as children get older their imagination develops and their play expands beyond what you give them to play with. For example, you may get your child a set of wooden blocks, and they may be building spaceships, castles, or something else you didn’t intend for them to imagine. This is a very cool development but it can be hard to understand.
One of the things that I’ve been consciously doing is letting Ollie explain to me and lead me when we play together. My instinct is to present a game or a toy to play with him and encourage him to play the toy, “correctly.” Instead of this, I’ve been letting Ollie tell me what to do. Since Ollie is really into Inside Out, Power Rangers, and some different books, his play is an amalgamation of all of these things. He doesn’t understand that they exist in different narrative universes, so he combines them.
What is revealed when I let Ollie take a lead is that he has a plan, and an internal logic in what he is trying to set up and play out. I often can’t figure out what this is, but the repetition of directions, and his insistence that I do things a certain way demonstrates that there is thought behind his actions and his directions.
Like every other age and stage of development there are new challenges now that Ollie is five. His tantrums have become more intense, and he has become less flexible with transitions. However, his imaginative play has really blossomed and his creativity has become truly wonderful. This along with this deeper level of thought and curiosity has been really enjoyable.
One of things that you have to let go of when you play with five-year-old is your own logic, and your rules of order. Don’t try to figure out or even understand what you kid is doing or is asking you to do. Just go along for the ride. It doesn’t have to make sense to you for your child to have fun playing with you. Give your child the power and let her make up the rules. It feels strange at first, but you will have fun, and enjoy the wonder of her world.
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