Wednesday, January 2, 2019

Top 10 of 2018: Part 2 - The Elections & The Hearing Aid

8. Two Years Later

I knew it mattered that I voted back in 2016, but when I voted this past November, I understood what was at stake. After two years of the one of the worst Presidents in American history, a horrendous Senate, and a damaging House Of Representatives, it became painfully clear that the choices we made during elections mattered.

The government, for the people and by the people should work to expand the rights of its citizens. Instead of doing this the Republican led executive and legislative branch focused on their version of “economic growth,” and “small government,” setting up situations which would actually require more government involvement in the future to fix the devastating effects of their selfishness. Not doing anything about racism in America will make it worse, and in doing nothing, the President and the majority power in congress have made one thing in America “great” again, racism.

Was their doubt that the blue wave would come? Yes, but pessimism never served me well in the past and while it did lead to a devastating feelings of loss and disbelief in 2016, it was optimism that refused to let me give up on my family, my country, and myself.

So, I voted with Ollie doing our mail-in ballot together, I mailed it in, and then I hoped for the wave. As much as the right might want to claim this election wasn’t victory for the Democrats, they are wrong. The Left won in a big way and they lost in ways that many did not predict. Elections across the country which were supposed to be blow-outs because of systemic racist voter suppression were close, and established candidates on the right sweated.

Every election matters, every vote matters.  Things get better or they get worse and unless you take a stand, and work to make things more equitable, rights will disappear.  After the 2016 election, I initially felt devastated, after the 2018 election, I'm feel that I'm ready to get to work. 


7. Baha

It wasn’t like one of those videos on youtube.com when a kid hears their parents’ voice for the first time. Ethan’s eyes didn’t light up the first time he had his hearing aid turned, he didn’t start giggling, or acting all that differently. I don’t think in the moment this meant all that much to Ethan, but it meant a lot to me.

We knew that this day was coming. Ethan’s unilateral hearing loss has been on our mind Ethan’s entire life. While it was once far in the front of my mind when I thought about him, it has become less in my thoughts as he grew older, but his disability never left me.

In my daily interactions with Ethan I don’t really notice his hearing loss. He reacts when I talk to him, he hears the front door open when we are upstairs, and his verbal skills are developing very well. I do see his right ear for what it is, smaller than his left and shaped different due to microtia, but it’s more of a cute feature when I gently touch it than a deformity. That ear really is the only outward sign of his disability, so putting on the head-strap and the Baha (hearing aid) in public comes with the knowledge that we are making public in the eyes of people something that we could easily hide.

Carrying him around family parties or at school when he is wearing his Baha, I have to careful to center him in front of me or carry him on my right hip to make sure the hearing aid doesn’t brush up against my chest. This is a challenge since I usually carry him on my left hip with my left arm, which is significantly stronger since I am left handed. I wonder if people are noticing his hearing aid, and I prepare myself for any comments people might ask say. Plenty of people come up and say hi to Ethan but very few saying anything about his hearing aid and the ones that do ask in the most wonderful and supportive ways. I’m sure that someone eventually will saying something rude or annoying about his Baha but it’s nice to know that this doesn’t have to be the norm.

The facebook groups I'm a member of for parents of children with hearing loss have filled my feed with pictures of children with all of kind of disabilities and stories of parents struggling with situations far more challenging than ours.  I've read the first part of Andrew Solomon's essential book Far From The Tree including his chapter on deafness, which has completely changed the way that I view and feel about people with disabilities.

We are starting to see more of difference when Ethan wears his Baha. He talks more and reacts to sounds faster. Ethan gets tired of wearing it sometimes and it’s easy to forget to put it on as much as we should. More than these things, I’m happy that we have this hearing aid for my little special little guy, and the world sounds a little bit more beautiful to him because of his Baha.

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