4. Reading To Me
Every single person I respect in my life, every genius I have encountered, and every person who has been an important influence in my life all have one thing in common: they are readers who have a passion and respect for the written word. One of the most important people in my life, who is many of the things I listed above, read his first book, all by himself this past year, my first son, Ollie.
Reading is so important. It is the most powerful tool to gain information, to build empathy, and to understand the human experience. Reading is the gateway to democracy, to power, to love, and to knowing yourself. From the day Ollie was born, I thought about reading to him. Almost every day of his life, I have had the pleasure to read to him, and this year as a kindergarten student, his reading has really taken off.
This past we’ve seen some amazing developments in his reading. We read to him at night, he has the attention for chapter books, and he asks me to trace along words that I’m reading while I read to him. Ollie asks insightful questions about the books that we read and he is eager to spend time reading books independently.
When Diana told me that Ollie had a book he could read to me himself, I was really excited. Yes, it was a photocopied folded over leveled reader about things being cold. There was a lot of repetition, regardless I was so excited that he could read it all by himself. I don’t think Ollie understood how big a deal that this moment was, but I made sure to tell him how excited I was that he read a book to me just as I had been reading books to him for years.
We have been opening up the world through reading to Ollie and I’m so excited that he is beginning to be able to explore through reading by himself and enter this journey of exploration and growth without me holding his hand. Part of me wishes I could be with him through every word, every surprise and every emotion he experiences through books, but I know he’ll share some of these experiences with me, and others he will keep to himself.
I have never been more excited to hear someone read in my entire life. There’s just so much more than pride I feel for Ollie and how much he has grown.
3. The Attack
Buffy doesn’t demand attention like she did when she was a puppy. She doesn’t get as squirrelly as she used to without longer walks and she doesn’t require as much stimulation as she did when she was younger. In the world we live in with a five-year-old and a baby, sometimes the care of Buffy becomes an afterthought.
This changed after the attack
It was unexpected, and we thought we handed it right but we didn’t get her to veterinarian fast enough. Two dogs left multiple puncture wounds on Buffy. By the time she got to the vet, the wounds were infected. While the other dogs’ owners did everything right in the situation (e.g. calling the vet and setting up payment immediately), our little puppy was hurt badly.
The pain pills helped and while we had to trick her into taking them, that was nothing compared to the care we had to do of her wounds.
I’ve cleaned up and dealt with all kinds of bodily fluid from those I love, vomit, defecation, snot, blood and saliva, but treating an infected puncture wound is another level. The discharge from the wound was objectively grosser the any other body fluid I’ve dealt with. The fluid out of an infected wound has a smell and a look that heartbreaking to see as part of one that you love. With all of these bodily fluids issues, cleaning it up is an act of care and love. Sometimes the act is accompanied by sadness and concern like when you are cleaning up vomit as your baby cries from panic and confusion. Accompanied by cleaning up Buffy’s wound and draining the infection was deep guilt and sadness. Also, there was great worry. If the infection didn’t pass, she may have to go in to surgery to get the wound cleaned, which while a minor procedure would require her to be put under, which has the potential for complications.
Buffy had a cone and a shaved area around her rear the wounds were and it was beyond sad. She didn’t understand what was going on, why she hurt and why she had to wear the cone and why we were so sad.
After multiple veterinarian visits, it became clear that the infection had passed. While we were relieved, it took weeks for us to get over the trauma of the event.
You never stop thinking when something goes wrong with your puppy that you could have done something better or different. The relationship between a human and a dog is one that does not bring the dog to a true independence. Buffy will always rely on us and when something goes wrong, the feeling is that we let her down.
The first time Buffy was attacked it helped me understand how much I loved her and cared about her. In the moment when she could have been lost to me, I realized what she meant to me. This most recent attack was a reminder of my responsibility to her and that she is a priority in my life even if she doesn’t demand it. She can’t be an afterthought. I simply have to make more space for her care and consideration in my life. Can I cut one of her walks short? Yes, but just because I can doesn’t mean I should. I committed to take care of her for her entire whole life and that’s never going to change.
Buffy has enriched my life beyond description and taught me what it means to be a parent and to truly love unconditionally. Her presence and her care for our family is powerful and life-changing. My sons are more empathetic and happier because of her spirit and for that I will forever be grateful. I will spend the rest of Buffy’s life helping her understand this by taking care of her with all of my love.
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