As soon as I told Buffy that it’s time for a walk, Ethan perked up. He toddled towards the door and tried to find his shoes. He found one of them of the floor near the door and tried to step into it, hoping that it will slip on even though the Velcro is still tight over the top and he is wearing his indoor slippers. As I got Buffy’s leash on, he toddled towards me holding one shoe.
“Ethan, come here,” I say gently, holding his other shoe. Ethan slowly turns around and backs up expecting that he will sit down into my lap, never once looking behind himself to make sure that I’m there. But I am there, like I have been many times before and he sits down trustingly and watches as I put on his shoes.
As I open the door, Ethan does his little happy dance, stomping quickly between his feet. It’s like he’s jumping up and down for joy, but he hasn’t quite figured that out yet, so this is as close as he can get.
“Ethan…jacket,” I say firmly. He turns around and walks over to the closet as quick as he can and grabs Ollie’s jacket. I put it on him, not noticing that it isn’t his, and he giggles noticing the sleeves are too long. I grab his jacket, which is nearby, and I slip in on and he follows me and Buffy out the door.
With the warmer weather, it has become a lot easier to take Ethan on walks with me and Buffy. When it’s 20 degrees outside the hassle of getting Ethan dressed for the cold isn’t really worth it. Often during the winter there is too much snow to use a stroller and putting Ethan in a baby carrier with full winter wear isn’t very comfortable. Even when Ethan is all bundled up, being outside when it’s that cold outside isn’t great for him, even though me and Buffy can handle it just fine…correction, even though Buffy can handle it just fine.
Just like Buffy, Ethan loves being outside. Whenever he gets the chance to go outside or sees that I’m taking Buffy out, he wants to join us. He's big enough to be ride his push tricycle which is more engaging than the stroller, and he enjoys when I let him wander around and find random little sticks in people’s yards during our walk.
Ethan’s growing awareness is wonderful. He has really demonstrated to us in the past month that he understands the world around him with more depth. Ethan gets that going outside means wearing shoes, when I turn on the bath that he knows that he will soon go into the bath, and that if he walks up to the box of cheerios and reaches inside he can get himself a snack.
With the heightened awareness comes toddler tantrums. As Diana accurately narrates for him when she is helping him work through these moments, “this isn’t how I expected that things would work out!” Sometimes there aren’t any more blueberries and sometimes it’s simply time to go, and he doesn’t always get this, and juxtaposed with confirmation of things that he does “get” creates these moments.
This is a reminder that tantrums are sometimes a sign of growth, and that confusion, and stubbornness can be learning processes.
Ethan’s growing awareness of the world is a wonderful thing to witness. I’m looking forward to spending the summer with him reconnecting with the outdoors inspired by his enthusiasm and sense of wonder.
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