My first summer as a parent was wonderful.
Ollie was only one month old when summer break hit. We moved into a new house in June. This was very stressful and took a lot of work. Also, that summer I started teaching at a summer camp for the first time. It’s not the stresses of the move, the new house, and the new job that stay with me, it was all of those wonderful moments with Ollie and Diana that stay with me.
For my summer camp job, I taught for two hours and the school was very close to home. That job was an adventure, more fun than stressful, and I learned so much about teaching through this job. I’d get home by lunch and have whole afternoon with my special little guy and Diana.
This set the tone for the next couple summers. This was a time when I got to spend more time with Ollie and Diana, work in a different context and go on adventures with my family. We'd explore cultural intuitions in Chicago, spend with friends, and travel to Seattle to visit my parents and my brother’s family.
As Ollie got older, it became clear that he needed more than just me and Diana during the summer, so he started doing summer camps. It was hard at first to have that time away over the summer, but Diana found such wonderful camps that enriched his life that it became something I was excited for him to experience. Among these experiences was a beach camp, and a camp at the Botanical Gardens. In those years, I continued to work at the same camp.
Now everything is different. The music camp job, I no longer do. This was replaced for the past years with some great administrative work at my school. In-person summer camps, aren’t happening in June, and may not happen in July. We have three children now who have been home since March. There is no novelty of newness of our being together more as summer begins. How we experience time with our friends and cultural experiences in Chicago is uncertain. Even more difficult to accept is the possibility that for the first time since I moved to Chicago twenty years ago, I may not travel “home” to Seattle to see my parents and my brother’s family.
This time of year, that in the past we so anticipated is coming, and the uncertainty we learned to live with over the spring, has become an uncertainty about summer we cannot process and understand.
There will good times, and there will be frustrating times this summer. We will take calculated risks to create positive experiences for our children and we will try to move through the day with structure, optimism, and hope. This will be work, and effort, and it will be draining. It’s not what we signed up for as parents, but it’s what we got to do right now.
Between the frustration, the anger, and the stress, there will laughter, hugs, and joy.
As I was holding Lucas today as he napped, I was reminded of holding Ollie during that first summer with him. At that time, I didn't feel like I knew I was doing as a parents. I had no idea how I would be able to go back to work, and how to manage all of the challenges Ollie brought into my life every day. However, with Diana's help I figured it out, and as overwhelmed I feel about the summer, I know that we'll figure it out, together.
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