One year ago, it was the last day of in-person school for the 2019-2020 school year for many schools across America. The unimaginable happened as society shut down and life changed for everyone.
I've been thinking all week about the most meaningful memories of what I learned from the past year as a teacher. It's been difficult to process because we aren't done with the crisis and the trauma. To truly move on and process an experience, there has to be an ending.
While we are making great process, we're not there yet.
There have wonderful moments of teaching in the past year, both remotely and in-person, with COVID-19 mitigations. I have learned to embrace the wonder and adventure of feeling like I'm a first-year teacher, and I've learned over time to forgive myself for not being able to be the teacher that I want to be this school year.
Things that were new and difficult now feel normal Wearing a mask for five hours doesn't phase me anymore. Managing students over Zoom feels like a normal thing to do.
Walking through a school full of people with masks used to feel weird, now I'm just grateful for the all the human interaction I enjoy.
My students have struggled. There are moments of resilience, but it's evident that this past year has been very difficult for young people. The idea that young people are somehow tougher than adults is absurd. I am so sad for what my students are going through, what they are missing, and how they will have to spend the rest of their lives affected by this pandemic. I'm hopeful they will learn from older generations' mistakes and lead with compassion, kindness, and equity.
I've watch administrators absorb the anxiety of parents, students, and teachers. I've struggled along with them trying to schedule work and solve problems none of us foresaw. I've also seen administrators make mistakes, run out of patience, and feel frustrated and lost.
After all, they are human. This year more than ever, they don't have all of the answers, and teachers and administrators need each other to get through school during a pandemic.
There were dark moments. There were times when it seemed like my work was pointless, and there were times when I felt lost, not knowing what my next step forward was. More than any other time in my professional career, I have felt frustrated and tired. Oh, so tired.
After a year of teaching during this pandemic, I have not given on being a teacher. It has a blessing that has given me purpose and meaning.
I don't love everything about teaching for the past year, but I still love my job. Among all of the chaos, trauma, and sadness, it has been my job to teach students about the beauty and wonder of music to better understand themselves and the world around them.
I am so grateful that I have had and continue to have the opportunity to do this work for students, myself, and my country.
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